FUNNY JOKES CONTINUED

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

21. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night.

It's $5 if you make your own bed.

Guest: "I'll make my own bed."

Innkeeper: "Good; "I'll get you some nails and wood."

22. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. T

he trick is not to get an emotional bond.

23. Q: Who cares if your guest pees in the shower

A: "The bride and all her guests, apparently."

24. Son: "Dad, when will I be old enough so I

have to to ask mom for permission?"

Dad: "Son, even I haven't grown old enough to go out without her permission."

25. A man called his child's doctor, "Hello!" My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

26. A Pickpocket was in court for a series of petty

crimes. The judge said, "Sir, you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said, "Your Honor, my client

has only $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow

him a few moments in the crowd...

27. Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?

A: A brick.

28. Student: " Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do?

Teacher: "No"

Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

29. What can you give and keep at the same time?

A cold!

30: Q: Why did the painting go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

31. Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout

"Hi Jack."

32. Fred: "Why do elephants wear red nail polish?"

Bob: "I don't know, why?"

Fred: "To hide in cherry trees."

Bob: "But I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree."

Fred: "See, it works."

33. Knock knock!

Whose there?

Ach

Ach who?

Bless you! Need a tissue?

34. Q: If a plane crashes on the Canada/USA border,

where would the survivors be buried?

A: You don't bury survivors.

35. Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?

A: Firetruck

To Be Continued

Short Funny Jokes For Adults

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam