Community Chat

[hckynut]

On 8/17/2014 Catfancy1 said:

Have you really forgiven if you can't ""forget""?

Yes.

Big difference in ""forgiving"" and ""forgetting"". No reason a person cannot have one without the other. These words and acts are not enclusive to each other.

[BORN AGAIN]

I can only forget it if the other person shows genuine remorse and works at trying to remedy the situation. Otherwise, I always forgive. Not for them ,but for my own benefit. I always trust my heavenly Father to do the rest.

[chrystaltree]

Oh, please. Get real. We can't force ourselves to forget something, the human brain just doesn't work that way. You can forgive a person and then PRETEND that you don't remember the event. But you remember and the person you forgave remembers. You both just push it to the back of your mind.

[straykatz]

To be honest...no one ever forgets when they are wronged/hurt.....however...I believe if you forgive then you also put aside the hurt and no longer allow it to control you or define you.....if you are still rehashing it out, getting even, telling everyone who will listen, and so on.. then you really haven't forgiven.

[kdgn]

I neither forgive nor forgive. Instead I attempt to let go. To say that I forget would be impossible. I remember, sometimes with a greater understanding, it would be impossible to forget.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 8/18/2014 kdgn said:

I neither forgive nor forgive. Instead I attempt to let go. To say that I forget would be impossible. I remember, sometimes with a greater understanding, it would be impossible to forget.

I think that often to forgive IS to let go. Those times when what was done was not okay and will never be ok. Then I would use this definition.

And you let go of it so that it doesn't continue to hurt you.

Forgetting would be foolish in such instances as you would no doubt be vulnerable to the same again.

[HiLo]

On 8/18/2014 straykatz said:

To be honest...no one ever forgets when they are wronged/hurt.....however...I believe if you forgive then you also put aside the hurt and no longer allow it to control you or define you.....if you are still rehashing it out, getting even, telling everyone who will listen, and so on.. then you really haven't forgiven.

Exactly!!!

[nlwilliams]

I may never forget things that happen in life, it certainly depends on what the situation is. But I can forgive. What the point of hanging on??

[mousiegirl]

I can't forgive what I can't forget. Once betrayed, whatever the relationship is, it is over forever, and once it is over, I am detached, so it doesn't bother me.

[LilacTree]

I had to end my last relationship which had lasted for over ten years. I hurt him and I did not want to. It took him a long time to get over it, he would call me every couple of months. I do not want to go into the details, but I couldn't handle a relationship anymore, although I still loved him as someone who had been in my life for a long time.

About two years later he told me he was finally "over" me and said he had a new girlfriend, for which I was glad. And a year after that, he made it very clear that he hated me. He did work odd jobs (he was a painter) for my company, so it was impossible that I did not see him occasionally. He would look the other way and refused to acknowledge my presence.

I tried a few times to talk to him and he would just look away and say "I don't remember!!"

So there we have a case of forgetting AND not forgiving.