Community Chat

[brewhaha]

I usually forgive myself when I forget something.

[lulu2]

I can forgive. Sometimes it's difficult and not always wise to forget.

[Ziali]

Forgetting as in not holding it against that person? No, they go hand in hand.

[Lion]

I don't necessarily believe that lingering pain means forgiveness isn't real or possible.

Often the consequences of what's happened can last a lifetime and be painful, but forgiveness still happens.

A good example would be someone losing a loved one due to a drunken driver. The pain of that loss will last a lifetime, it won't ever go away.

Yet, the person who lost the loved can still forgive the drunken driver.

We don't usually have control over the consequences of what others do to us and the pain that comes from it. It exists and we have to find a way to deal & live with it.

But, it's still possible even with the lingering pain to forgive.

[ROMARY]

Sometimes some people can't stop what they are doing/saying/behaving. Sometimes jealousy brings out the worst in people, and they cannot stop feeling that way. It's an 'addiction' of sorts. Very difficult for them to control. Coming from a person (years ago) who told me that she couldn't help herself and her controlling, jealous behavior. Even after reading books, listening to various experts, etc. Sad way to live, and I often feel sorry for those people.

[ROMARY]

D/P

[MomOf4]

On 8/17/2014 stilltamn8r said:

its not so much if we can "forget" ...very few of us can forget the important events or circumstances of our lives..

We can forgive if we can remember without pain..until we can remember events and they no longer cause us pain, i believe it is really impossible to forgive- it is simply lip service..

Think of the case of an ex husband who has hurt you and your children deeply, there are probably years that go by where you may think you have "Forgiven" him but thinking of him and the events still cause you pain..One day you realize that you o longer"feel" that pain when you think of him, or those circumstances..Only then, in my opinion, can you really truly forgive...

I love the line "We can forgive, if we can remember without pain."

I completely agree!!

[LyndaGee]

That level of anger is an awful, painful thing to carry around. Yet, I think it's okay to hang onto a little of the memory, so you don't let it happen to you again.

[Charming1_1]

I try to forgive actually for my benefit so as not to let others control my emotions, however, it doesn't mean I'll forget and depending upon the transgression the person may or may not remain in my life.

[jeanlake]

Forgive & learn from the experience -- if we totally forget, we slip into victim mode. I think my Creator is the only One pure enough in heart and mind to be able to forgive & forget.