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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,139
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

[ Edited ]

Uh....what?

 

 

 

I CAN see this if the person is disabled in some way; this includes hearing, germ phobia, eye sight issues, etc.  Beyond that.....not in my world.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,364
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

@dex  HeartHeartHeart

Honored Contributor
Posts: 40,257
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...


@Laura14 wrote:

And then pass it over when you get connected like you're his secretary? 

 

Quite a few times now at work, I have gotten a phone call from a woman who then passes the phone to her husband to talk to me. 

 

Can he not dial himself?  You don't even have to push buttons these days.  You can just speak.  

 

It seems to be older couples and maybe this was a thing back in the day but I find it very strange and frankly demeaning to the woman.  Not many things annoy the heck out of me these days but this one does.  I don't like it when someone is seemingly mistreated in front of me.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has encountered this and maybe I'm missing something.  I really don't get the deference.     

 

 

 


@Laura14

 

My first thought was that the only excuse would be if the man was legally blind. 

 

My second thought is that these women married very stupid men.   lol

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...


@Laura14 wrote:

And then pass it over when you get connected like you're his secretary? 

 

Quite a few times now at work, I have gotten a phone call from a woman who then passes the phone to her husband to talk to me. 

 

Can he not dial himself?  You don't even have to push buttons these days.  You can just speak.  

 

It seems to be older couples and maybe this was a thing back in the day but I find it very strange and frankly demeaning to the woman.  Not many things annoy the heck out of me these days but this one does.  I don't like it when someone is seemingly mistreated in front of me.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has encountered this and maybe I'm missing something.  I really don't get the deference.     

 

 

 


 

I wouldn't judge, as there are many people who regardless of age, may need help with things we take for granted as easy to do.

 

Could be sight issues, could be lack of dexterity with small phone buttons, could be some confusion with being able to handle the automated systems and choosing which options, could be any number of things that for some people, aren't as easy as it is for others. 

 

Could even be as noted, a wife doing the ground work, not necessarily out of servitude, but out of love and respect and just liking to help out their spouse.

 

I do tire of people who find fault with women who actually don't mind doing for others, including the men in their lives. It isn't demeaning to do for others, assist others, and even enjoy doing so. Many people do things out of love and respect for each other, either inside or outside what is/was considered 'gender appropriate'. 

 

My mother used to scrape the windshield and warm up the car for my dad who was a third shift police officer when they were first married. She knew he would be out walking a beat in the cold all night, and honored him by giving him a warm start to his work day. And horrors of all horrors, she would shine his shoes every day as he slept between his regular police work, and his second job as a security officer in a department store. It was again, her way to support his hard work and dedication to his family. 

 

My father, after he was retired for health reasons, even though he was very ill, cooked dinner and did the dishes for my mom while she worked and earned a living for the family. 

 

Their relationship was based on love and honor and doing anything they could to support, encourage, and help the other.

 

With no insight into their individual circumstances, what these couples do for each other and the details of their relationship, I feel you are projecting things that may or may not be there, and there is no value in doing so. It only serves to make one look judgmental and shallow. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...


@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@Laura14 wrote:

And then pass it over when you get connected like you're his secretary? 

 

Quite a few times now at work, I have gotten a phone call from a woman who then passes the phone to her husband to talk to me. 

 

Can he not dial himself?  You don't even have to push buttons these days.  You can just speak.  

 

It seems to be older couples and maybe this was a thing back in the day but I find it very strange and frankly demeaning to the woman.  Not many things annoy the heck out of me these days but this one does.  I don't like it when someone is seemingly mistreated in front of me.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has encountered this and maybe I'm missing something.  I really don't get the deference.     

 

 

 


@Laura14

 

My first thought was that the only excuse would be if the man was legally blind. 

 

My second thought is that these women married very stupid men.   lol

 

 


 

How shallow and thoughtless a response. 

 

With no real insight as to why this happens, people making such sweeping judgements demonstrate complete lack of compassion, understanding and show how intolerance exudes from those that are the first to demand tolerance in other areas.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

You know, it's sad to read posts on these boards where the tone is that men should be subservient to women, and women shouldn't lift a finger in a relationship.

 

 

Man bashing.

 

 

If a woman does anything for a man it because she is being "forced" to.

 

 

I call BS on all of that.

 

 

Any relationship is a partnership.

 

I do for you because I want to because I love you, and you do for me, because you want to, and because you love me.

 

 

But I guess that is "old fashioned".

 

 

If you want men to wait on you hand and foot, and (general meaning) you hate men, then why bother even getting married.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

I don't recall a thread recently that has elicited so many high-on-one's-horse responses, generalizations, and OT meanderings as this one. Sheesh, it reminds me of how my mother, when in her cups, could start an argument about passing the salt at dinner.

 

Can we not agree that a relationship ideally involves give-and-take, and that such give-and-take is personalized?

 

I don't make calls for my husband; others do, for whatever reason. If he could not initate calls, of course I would do so; and I would expect the converse.

 


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,960
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

Yes, I do.... If he needs help. I help him.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,364
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...

@Mominohio  Keep reading the thread.  I refuse to post it a third time. 

 

Your final snap judgement of my post indicates the same about you.  You chose not to read the whole thread before commenting.

 

There was no "finding fault."  There was an honest question asked since I'm not psychic and have no idea what's going on at the other end of the phone line. 

 

I gave my impression of what it sounded like.  I was given some other legitimate perspectives of what it might be.    

 

Finding fault and judgement appears to be rampant both ways.  I will never apologize for asking a question and I will never be ashamed of being ignorant. 

 

We are all ignorant about a lot of things until we aren't.  At least I have the courage to put my ignorance out in the world and on this forum and say "teach me."   This is what this looks like to me.

 

That is the farthest thing from being shallow.  It's called deep thought and personal integrity by questioning if the reaction I am personally having is correct or not.  You may want to try it for yourself. 

 

I did it publicly.  My choice. 

 

And as much as everyone who sits behind a keyboard wants to believe they have most of the answers, I believe those of us who can admit we still don't and are still learning are lightyears ahead of the game.

 

To those who did have the answers that I hadn't found yet on this topic and shared them with kindness, again, thank you! 

 

 

 

 

     

  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Do you dial the phone for your spouse...


@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

You know, it's sad to read posts on these boards where the tone is that men should be subservient to women, and women shouldn't lift a finger in a relationship.

 

 

Man bashing.

 

 

If a woman does anything for a man it because she is being "forced" to.

 

 

I call BS on all of that.

 

 

Any relationship is a partnership.

 

I do for you because I want to because I love you, and you do for me, because you want to, and because you love me.

 

 

But I guess that is "old fashioned".

 

 

If you want men to wait on you hand and foot, and (general meaning) you hate men, then why bother even getting married.


 

@Plaid Pants2

 

There certainly is an element of man hating here. 

 

With what is going on with the workplace, the entertainment industry and public office, and women coming forward, I know that there will be a spill over to undeserved man bashing/ woman shaming, for people who willingly give to, serve, honor and do for each other. 

 

Sad.