Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

If only I had a dollar for every time one of us would set up a couples' date with our friend and his or her spouse that was pretty much a disaster.

One example: I became good friends with another school mom. At some point we thought it might be fun to go out as a foursome. I'll cut to the chase: We're sitting in a restaurant when my friend's husband -- can't recall the discussion exactly -- complimented Hitler. Kinda went downhill after that.

For balance's sake: Dinner with a colleague of my husband and his wife, neither of whom I had met before. The woman never conversed the whole evening. She sat there looking glum. Any idea how awkward that was?

There's more. :-)

[ROMARY]

Just thinking that two happily 'boring' people might be content.  On the other hand, two overly 'outgoing', possibly Type A people just might be energy draining, in the long run.   (All of those parties, etc.)  .........Well, 'I don't know'..........(I'm the wishy-washy one, opinion-wise, lol.) 

[jaxs mom]

Nope I don't think that. Because each persons relationships are their own. What they see in someone I may not, since we are different people with different wants and needs. 

[jaxs mom]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think if one person in the couple out shines the other, the couple probably will not be a couple long. I think people should compliment each other. The old saying," birds of the feather flock together" is really true. I think if people are too different  and don't share the same values, likes and dislikes you have to work too hard. Who wants to have to work too hard!

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Many people don't want a clone of themselves. In fact I find that to be a detriment myself. 

[Annabellethecat66]

My friends from high school (I'm 71 soon) still stay in touch through face book.

I can tell you from what I know of them and other close friends often opposites attract.

My late husband and I were like night and day.  I'm very outgoing and he wasn't.  He liked that I was different from him, he used to tell me that.

On the important things, (like money, religion, etc) we were the same, but as far as personality, nope nothing alike.  Same with my friends.

In my opinion, there's often one who's different.  I do have one set of friends (since 5th grade) where they are both quiet.  Unfortunately, they never got invited to parties, etc much because they'd sit and only talk to each other....Ha!

@Jordan2 I totally agree with you....opposites do attract but only personality-wise, not when it comes to day to day things in life (like I mentioned above).

[Hope2017]

I believe it's more of a "blancing act"..opposites attract. With most couples I've come to know (including me and my DH of over 3 decades)...one person is more "outgoing, social, talkative, etc... the other more "subdued, quiet, and reserved".  

[viva923]

i think one of the couple is the stronger draw to other people. They may compliment each other but sometimes the stronger personality will draw in other people.

My husband has a stronger personality than me.  He is able to carry on a conversation with just about anyone. 

[hckynut]

@Jordan2

Nah, I wouldn't word it that way, nor do I view it that way. Some people are more comfortable around a group or crowd of people that their mates and talk a lot more. That can be a "draw" or a "turn off" to others. 

I know many couples where one, I think anyways, tries too hard to be the focus of the couple. Not particularly fond of most that try to draw attention to themselves, especially at the expense of the other half of what we'll call "a couple".

hckynut

[chiclet]

It has been my experience that I ususally don't like both parts of couple.  I think finding couple friends is the hardest thing to do and I quit trying years ago.  My first husband was very outgoing and loved friends to do things with.  He would like a guy and I would dislike the wife or vise versa.  We had one good couple friends. My husband now is not really that social so I just usually have single friends. 

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

I do think sometimes opposites attract.  There is a sort of yin and yang in a couple.  In marriage; my husband is definitely the drawer.  We are almost polar opposites of each other but I think we complete each other.  He's outgoing, self assured, personable and very social.  I'm the opposite; reserved, shy, quiet and I don't like to socialize in large groups.  He makes friends easily, it takes me a while and I don't want to be friends with every person I meet.   He draws me out and I reel him in.  That's how he described it once.  When we go out, he keeps me from standing in the corner and I keep him from dancing on the tables...lol

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Nice analysis.  I particularly like the last sentence, makes perfect sense, good for you and your husband, you have it together.