Community Chat

[Annabellethecat66]

No.  In Va you have to do everything through the lawyers and if the husband is the wage earner they can hold back and the woman goes back and forth between her lawyer and his lawyer and so on.  In the meantime, the poor woman doesn't have any money.  It all takes time.  I've seen it happen time after time.

A close friend just went through this.  Had it not been for her parents, she'd have been out on the streets with no food, nothing... Her Dad had to constantly give her money waiting (about 2 years for this thing to settle) and it's still not settled entirely.

The other person I know lives in Florida.  I went on line and read about their rules (every state is different).  I'm talking about money to live on while the lawyers are hammering this out.  It is terrible!

These are women who were stay at home moms and/or housewives and hadn't worked.  Often by the time they get divorced they are in their mid 40's, haven't worked in years.

Right now (again), I'm gathering clothes up that I don't wear to give to a friend for a woman she knows who finds herself in this position.  She doesn't have any clothes one would wear to work.  I don't and haven't worked, but I do buy a lot of clothes you could easily wear to work that look nice.  I've done this before.

There are women's groups in the area that collect clothes for exactly this purpose.  These women are supposed to be able to suddenly support themselves when they haven't worked in years.  

In Va the rules as far as division of property is 50/50, supposedly, I know of men (in this position I'm talking about) who have 'hidden' money everywhere.  It takes time for lawyers to MAKE them declare this money and assets....back and forth.

[proudlyfromNJ]

Yes, they need to get a job. You're right as to places that help with clothes if they can't take the clothes in their closets. A person in their 40's needs to look for work. Of course it's not easy but has been done by many many women.