Community Chat

[Poodlepet2]

Maggie's, echo.....peace for all

Poodlepet2

[2cockers1cat]

It's possible to learn about family through the Ancestry DNA testing service.  I submitted a sample in August, 2015.  You get the ethnic breakdown often seen in their ads, as well as information on people in their system with the same DNA.  Through their testing, I confirmed most of the information we have collected over several years and eliminated a few errors.  

I was hoping to find a group of people to whom I was related that might help us discover more about great-grandmother Lillie's parentage. For me, it worked.  The test confirmed we had correctly identified her father and his legitimate children.  I share many DNA markers specific to his known descendants who have samples at Ancestry.  I have no sharing with his wife's ancestors or close relatives.  They do not come up in my results.   But, I do share DNA with a family group, not in my tree, that may be the clue to her mother's history.  

In the DNA area, there is a section called Circles, that identifies people that share identical DNA at the same locations on their chromosomes.  My results put me in 10 Circles.  Three of them have 25 or more related people.  One has only 4 connections.  Ancestry provides an estimation how close the relationship may be based on the  analysis.  If the administrator of a tree chooses the public option, you can look at their history. 

[RedTop]

A very good friend of mine was given up at birth, and went into foster care.  His foster parents went on to adopt him and raise him as one of their own.   This man is now in his late 40's, and has several health issues where it would be beneficial to know his inherited risks; unfortunately, he is not having any luck finding what he wants/needs to know.   He continues to post on various websites in the hope of someday finding out who his parents are/were, and some measure of health information for him, and his children.   

The genealogy research I do on all sides of my family, and my husband's family, is specifically health related.  My daughters have access to the cause of death information for all grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparents.  

Wishing you you well in your quest.

[Sooner]

To me, the guides would be to contact the birth parent.  If it is their wish to have no contact, I would abide by that and by that for any other children they might have had.  Obviously they don't know about it, so why put them through it?  You run a great risk in telling them their parent has kept this from them and I don't think they would deserve that.  

If the birth parent has not told any other children, and does not want them to know, I'd abide by that as well.  If the parent is dead, I would not contact their children either.

UNLESS:  The children are giving their dna and seeking contact.  That changes everything.  In this day and age, if people want to know, they will look and you will meet.  If they do not, I would respect that privacy. 

[Kalli]

I find myself going back and forth on this.  I can only imagine an adopted child's desire to meet his/ her birth parents.  And it's important to have health information.  I guess I wish it could always be a happy reunion but apparently it's not.

Still I can understand the yearning some adopted children and adults have to learn more and connect with their blood relatives.  I guess if I were pressed to take a side it would be for the person who was adopted especially if they feel they need this to be complete. 

[sfnative]

We have a case in our family that's a bit different from the norm and, coincidentally, my daughter and I were talking about this last evening.

Thing is - my son-in-law's FATHER, who is a grandfather to our granddaughter, was adopted.  He will never pursue this avenue of inquiry.  However, my son-in-law is going to do this, when he receives his next bonus, as he wants to know his genetic background, which may also provide insight into possible health matters for him and his daughter.

I'd do it in a flash, but already know which percent of what I am.

[esmeraldagooch]

I have no interest in finding out.  My husband's cousin went looking and found his dad's family, but dad was dead.  Caused quite a stink as his wife didn't know.

A friend went looking and found mom.  Went to reunion and met up.  Uncle said good thing you were born in the 50's other wise you'd be dead.   Never went back.

[colliegirls]

Most medical issues can easily be diagnosed these days, regardless of one's family history.

It is wonderful when the story ends well with looking for birth parents, but many times, it is a nightmare. 

[Kardi]

Perhaps we wouldn't have all these sad scenarios if young women had been treated fairly and equally in our society.  Things have gotten much better.  Back in the 60s it was still so taboo to get pregnant before marriage.  I remember friends being "sent off to visit a sick aunt out of state".  Parents were often horribly cruel in their treatment of their own daughters even disowning them.  On the other hand, the fathers of these babies were seldom chastised.  Their lives continued uninterrupted.  I feel for adoptees and their birth mothers.  Society, through their phony Puritanicalism, created so much heartache.

[jp4]

Please be careful when contacting your Mother. Possibly use a liason.  My mothers "son" showed up on her Mom and Dads front step and introduced himself before ever contacting my mother.  Her parents (my grandparents)and my father knew nothing about the pregnancy or birth.  It ruined our extended family because my mother did not want contact with him and he continued to pressure her sisters and parents to arrange a meeting. The sisters could not understand why my mom would not meet him.  I think my mother still had great shame about what happened (late 1950's).   She has dementia now , and I feel the stress of the whole situation contributed to this.