Re: DEALING WITH NEW NEIGHBOR

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
Theives, rapists, con-men/women are all someone's neighbor. A new neighbor who is pushy is reason for caution. If this neighbor had a get together where all the neighbors were invited or at least those in his building that would be friendly. Knocking on the door of a single woman he's never met to invite her for coffee is unacceptable.

Where did the OP say that these people were "pushy"? Neighbors reach out to each other all the time. No one was pushy, no one forced the issue.

I don't see anything in any of her posts that indicate she declined and they continued to pursue her. They extended an invitation. That's all that happened. It's a common occurrence all around the world every day. I'm one of the most cautious people you could ever know, but I refuse to be paranoid about every little thing.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

What a world we live in now.. My husbands parents are gone now but when alive stuck to each other and their home like glue. Everyone outside the family was an outsider that you had to be wary off. My MIL once told me the neighbors had invited her for dinner. I said that was wonderful. She asked me what they wanted from her. I told her probably nothing just being friendly. She did not go because she believed there was some sinister reason for them to invite her. She might have missed an opportunity for a good friend.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

I just wanted to say something about "apartment living", which has been brought up here. I lived in a 12-story building with 12 apartments on each floor in a large city. In this type of situation, I got to know my neighbors in passing every day -- hellos, the weather, etc. Honestly, it would have been odd to me to get an outright invitation without having met them in passing first. I never socialized with my neighbors on my floor, but would have felt perfectly comfortable enough to call on them if I ever needed to. Apartment living isn't all that bad.

However, the OP's living situation seems to be very different. Although she lives in an apartment, she said there are only 2 apartments on each floor. This makes it much more personal -- to me, almost like living in a detached home and wanting to get to know your neighbors and be on good terms. In this type of more intimate situation, I would not be as surprised to get an invitation outright.

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

I would have the cup of coffee (or tea, I don't drink coffee .lol) But that is up to you. If not just kindly say no to them.

To add what goes on here;

I realize not everyone is sociable. I can be very shy when I first meet people. BUT where we live (in this country development), people are very unfriendly. When I married DH (almost 10 years ago) and moved here (where he already lived), I tried saying hello and or waving across the street to people. Well they didn't do the same back and I find it very odd.

The only people that talk to us in this whole development is our next door neighbors (who will be moving next Spring). They are very friendly and are a nice young couple with a little girl.

Now maybe others don't talk to us because we are older, without small children, but I don't know, I just find it weird they cant say hello or wave. When I lived in the city everyone was friendly, and I still have friends from back when we all lived there (and now we don't).

Well, good luck in whatever you decide to do.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

@Stormygirl wrote:
@terrier3 LOL If anyone ever did something that passive-agressive and gross to me they would never have to worry about their privacy EVER.....not in a life threatening flood nor ever in one of those "I've fallen and I cant get up" or heart attack moments either......I would walk right over them and smile potitely and say "If I get the time when I get back from my walk I MIGHT call the EMS...no garuntee though as I know how much you love your privacy and I wouldnt want to hurt my back helping you. Whew LOL

@Stormygirl- She wouldn't have to worry about her neighbor again - but since the neighbors seem to be friendly, I'm sure the story of her gross disgusting behavior would become the talk of the complex.

When someone goes low (and I don't consider asking someone over for coffee being "low") - GO HIGH!

x Hedge · ‎08-18-2016

The OP stated this issue with being able to look into the opposite window was a first in 17 years.
She also stated it felt awkward, and made HER uncomfortable.
That made it a significant change for her to adapt to. So much so that she looked here for supportive ideas.

Certainly she could just "not look". But its also possible they're unaware of the view they're providing. Inquiring about their future plans (if any) for installing kitchen window treatment, said with humor, might get the point accross in a neighborly way.
If that fails, you're down to just averting your eyes.

I notice the OP mentions working 25 years in criminal justice. In fact she included it very eary in her post. I suspect she already knows full well some people are so creepy they'll turn a situation like this around, and tag you with a "peeping" label or some other casual smear just for their own amusement. (Oh Yes, the creeps I've met thru my work are VERY friendly to strangers.)

Evidently quite a few of you have really wonderful neighbors. I hope you continue to have that good fortune because good neighbors are truly a blessing. . . and bad neighbors can be a nightmare!

Perhaps not THESE neighbors. These may be wonderful people. But caution makes a good companion.

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

The neighbors are fine, it's the OP who has the problem. She doesn't like her neighbors keeping their shades up and when she passes by her own window, she can see inside the neighbors home. The neighbor can stop looking and keep her own shades pulled down.

Asking a new neighbor over for a cup of coffee isn't a crime. If the OP doesn't want to go, just say, no thank you.

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

The truth works wonders, just nicely tell them you prefer not to be that way with neighbors.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Qshopper1991 · ‎08-15-2014

@Daisy Sunflower

LMAO!!!!!!

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
The neighbors are fine, it's the OP who has the problem. She doesn't like her neighbors keeping their shades up and when she passes by her own window, she can see inside the neighbors home. The neighbor can stop looking and keep her own shades pulled down.
Asking a new neighbor over for a cup of coffee isn't a crime. If the OP doesn't want to go, just say, no thank you.

It is obvious you didn't bother to read this thread. If you had you would know that the OP is not the new neighbor. The OP does keep her kitchen blind closed, therefore; she does not see into the new neighbor's apartment while she is inside hers. When the OP goes out she is facing their window, looking directly into their apartment. It is the new neighbor, the man, who knocked on the OP'S door inviting her to his apartment for coffee.