Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

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@Bjjo wrote:
I have never understood why anyone wants to continuously put selfies on Facebook. I have one that does this around 4 -6 times a week. She's a friend of my daughter inlaw that friend me. Very nice lady, but she puts pictures of herself and pictures of her 3 year old granddaughter separately most of the time. She's around 48, but shares way too often about cutesy, normal goings on. I've never figured out why she does this,

Maybe she is just clueless as no one else on my Facebook does this. She is a very nice person, but goes way overboard. My family shares privately as well as friends that we know are interested or cares about some goings on to keep up. This person is not a shallow person, not vain, so I just feel this is just ignorant in this particular area.

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I can't explain it with this person. She's a great lady and mom. I just find it puzzlingly vain.

[Preds]

I've never understood the constant selfies.  My DD does it all the time when they are traveling or at some music thing.  Love seeing her and SIL, but I'd prefer to see the view behind them.  LOL  Her response is something about remembering that moment and sharing it with friends and family.  Okay!? 

Edit to add ... Her BF sent a FB message to her husband to take pictures of her and the kids because the only ones she has with her in them are selfies she takes.  LOL

[ChynnaBlue]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

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My thought is that you're way too concerned about what your friend is doing.

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So - noticing something occurring with increasing frequency and mentioning it is "way too concerned." Okay - got that; tossed it.

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Coming to a forum to tell everyone about it, and ask them what they think and WHY she might be doing it is more than "noticing something."

[jaxs mom]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Stormygirl wrote:

LOL @Moonchilde I knew what you meant....head shots closies...nothing to do with fashion. I take comments head on without adding any speculation. No assuming....I knew exactly what you meant....nothing more, nothing less. Sigh I have a feeling you are going to be banging your head against a brick wall in a few minutes. LOL

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No worries. @Stormygirl ;-) 

There are always those who use any OP to attack people they've butted heads with in the past. It's often not so much about the POV or the topic as it is an opportunity to shoot a zinger. Comes with posting on the forums.

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You haven't been attacked. Some people don't agree with you. That's the bottom line. You aren't being singled out and it's not personal. People like me, honestly don't care if other people dress different or post photoes of themselves online or whatever. We just don't. And I never will understand why people like you do care, especially enough to start threads about it. Or why you all assume that they do it for attention. Because IME of knowing people like that, it's very often not about attention at all. Facebook is a place where people can be themselves. Maybe she just having fun. But to throw out the narcissist thing, ya I think that's over the line. 

[Moonchilde]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

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My thought is that you're way too concerned about what your friend is doing.

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So - noticing something occurring with increasing frequency and mentioning it is "way too concerned." Okay - got that; tossed it.

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Coming to a forum to tell everyone about it, and ask them what they think and WHY she might be doing it is more than "noticing something."

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But I don't live my life by other peoples' declarations of what they think of my behavior. She wouldn't either, nor would I expect her to. I'm just genuinely curious. Make of that what you will, doesn't matter to me.

[jaxs mom]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

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My thought is that you're way too concerned about what your friend is doing.

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So - noticing something occurring with increasing frequency and mentioning it is "way too concerned." Okay - got that; tossed it.

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Coming to a forum to tell everyone about it, and ask them what they think and WHY she might be doing it is more than "noticing something."

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But I don't live my life by other peoples' declarations of what they think of my behavior. She wouldn't either, nor would I expect her to. I'm just genuinely curious. Make of that what you will, doesn't matter to me.

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BINGO

Your facebook friend shouldn't have to either. If you believe that, then don't speculate that she's a narcissist

[QueenDanceALot]

So many people do this.

I think it's just another symptom of the general increase of narcissism in our culture.

Dr.KittyLouWhoTooAsFarAsYouKnow

[Lipstickdiva]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

If people are saying she's beautiful, then she is.

It's hard to take good pictures on a consistent basis.

She sounds like she's very comfortable in her own skin.

Very confident.

People like to 'project' their own insecurities on

to other people.  If she's having fun with it, just enjoy

the fruits of her labor. 

Boom. Done. 

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So, wait - because I question the reason behind someone posting headshots every other day, *I* of course have self-esteem issues? LOL.

Her family tells her she's beautiful. She's an attractive woman for her age but she's not model-pretty/gorgeous, and she looks her age - no more and no less.

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Maybe you should tell her that and then you won't have to worry about seeing her postings anymore nor will you have to worry about unfriending her because she'll do that for you! 

[Lipstickdiva]

You posted and asked for thoughts.  People are giving them and if they don't agree with your take that she's vain and narcissistic you are making snarky comments.

Don't ask for thoughts if you really only want thoughts that agree with yours. 

[Moonchilde]

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@jaxs mom wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Stormygirl wrote:

LOL @Moonchilde I knew what you meant....head shots closies...nothing to do with fashion. I take comments head on without adding any speculation. No assuming....I knew exactly what you meant....nothing more, nothing less. Sigh I have a feeling you are going to be banging your head against a brick wall in a few minutes. LOL

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No worries. @Stormygirl ;-) 

There are always those who use any OP to attack people they've butted heads with in the past. It's often not so much about the POV or the topic as it is an opportunity to shoot a zinger. Comes with posting on the forums.

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You haven't been attacked. Some people don't agree with you. That's the bottom line. You aren't being singled out and it's not personal. People like me, honestly don't care if other people dress different or post photoes of themselves online or whatever. We just don't. And I never will understand why people like you do care, especially enough to start threads about it. Or why you all assume that they do it for attention. Because IME of knowing people like that, it's very often not about attention at all. Facebook is a place where people can be themselves. Maybe she just having fun. But to throw out the narcissist thing, ya I think that's over the line. 

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LOL, I used the word "attack" colloquially, as many people do here. I suppose I could have said "posters who don't see eye to eye with other posters take pot-shots at them just coz" - perhaps that's more technically accurate, even when denied :-)

"People like me"; "people like you"; "you all." All phrases used to obliquely insult others on these forums. I didn't use them -you did.

I said it *seemed*, on the surface, that such actions were narcissistic and/or vain, but that did not fit with what I know of the person. I don't assume she does it for attention, I *wondered* why she might do it *other* than for attention, which is the obvious thought, when I was asking for opinions beyond the obvious.

The term narcissist/ism is not in some way legally restricted to the medical profession, with only MDs or PhDs allowed to use it; it has common, everyday colloquial meaning. I'm not sure why one would jump first to the DSM-IV definition, that seems odd to me, unless one was looking for hairs to split.