Community Chat or Among Friends? - Page 6

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

I know I'm not perfect and am off the rails at times, but I just want to thank all you ladies and hockynut john who put up with my ******. It is what it is.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@shell garden wrote:
MOONCHILDE, that is true about "real" friends on the forums, but I have made true friends here that I do cherish and stay in contact with via email and phone! However, be that as it may, ...to call out a particular forum here by saying they are not true friends or have their own little club causes hurt feelings, especially if you once posted regularly with a group! But, some people don't think of others as we all know!

SHELLGARDEN, from my POV, you are calling out someone that you don't know, whether it's me or catwhisperer, chiding about improper behavior from your POV - which you of course have the right to do on these forums. But your perceptions of the motivations of people who are strangers to you are no more valid than anyone else's perceptions. So, this rather illustrates my point - that we are all individuals who do not "know" each other, and do not, in many or most instances, "know" what motivates someone to speak, nor do we always understand others. We are free of course to misunderstand, which I believe is the case with you either misunderstanding what catwhisperer is saying or choosing to take "the other side" while trying to shame her for her opinion/feelings.

No biggie, as this type of thing happens on the forums all day every day.

I just don't agree with setting oneself up as the "nice person" vs. the "not-nice person." I don't go out of my way, on these forums, to attack people for no reason. Neither do I claim to always be a "good girl." I let readers decide, by their reading, what to think. Some will see whatever it is the way I do, and some won't. I'm totally fine with that. While I don't set out every day to alienate most people, I also don't post to ingratiate myself. I believe that's part of what catwhisperer was saying. There is sometimes a sort of game being played and scores kept, and she noticed. I noticed a long time ago. The difference between us is that she was hurt by it, while I just noticed and passed (and continue to pass) by the scorekeepers because they only just register with me and no more; I have no interest in them.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@dooBdoo wrote:
@shell garden wrote:

@Hooty wrote:
Don't be fooled by the title "Among Friends", don't believe everyone there is "your friend"!!!
Whoa.....it also takes a friend to be one! A real one that is!

Hi, @shell garden! While I agree we have to be a friend, too, I do agree with @Hooty, because she said not everyone there is your friend. I think all of us have encountered that reality at one time or another.

Precisely, @dooBdoo. Not everything or everyone is as they appear, and one needs wisdom and discernment or they could be badly hurt.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@dooBdoo wrote:
@catwhisperer wrote:
@shell garden wrote:

@catwhisperer wrote:
@shell garden wrote:

@Hooty wrote:
Don't be fooled by the title "Among Friends", don't believe everyone there is "your friend"!!!
Whoa.....it also takes a friend to be one! A real one that is!
I do agree with @Hooty. There are some kind, honest, sincerely nice posters on these forums no matter where you post. There are also some that are very good at telling people what they want to hear and are not as pure and honest as they appear to be. I learned that the hard way. I tend to stay away from the cliques, the ooey, gooey, I love you threads, and the religious threads. To each his own.
Hi Catwhisperer! I think all of us are different and enjoy many different threads and forums, but I would not put a forum down as to say some are " not your friends", because some may read this thread and get hurt feelings by comments here! Also to say they are "in their own little club". To me, those kind of comments are unnecessary and make you wonder why the " dig" in the first place!

Have a great day, Catwhisperer!
@shell garden...maybe the "dig" has to do with a poster not feeling accepted by a certain group of posters. I have seen new posters attempt to join particular threads, post once or twice, then never return. Comments that some may feel are "unnecessary", may just be a poster expressing how they feel. Some people just tell like they see it.

@catwhisperer, I've seen what you mention. It does happen, there can be long-standing threads which don't seem accepting of a poster who's new to the thread. I've not only seen it, it's happened to me before. After a few tries, even with pleasant or simply conversational posts (not controversial), it's uncomfortable to be overlooked on a thread... but then, sometimes it's not intentional. It might be that a thread is moving quickly, people are distracted, who knows. But yes, it happens.

What I have found disconcerting in THIS thread is the suggestion that sour grapes and spite at not being accepted into an admitted clique is the reason for a poster doing nothing more than expressing an ordinary, non-contentious, non-personal, opinion about the general tenor and friendliness of various forums. It seems to have hit a nerve - which has its own tale to tell, for me.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@dooBdoo wrote:
@Moonchilde wrote:
@shell garden wrote:

@Hooty wrote:
Don't be fooled by the title "Among Friends", don't believe everyone there is "your friend"!!!
Whoa.....it also takes a friend to be one! A real one that is!

Real friends are people you talk to in the flesh. People you *know*, the good and the bad, by being aware of how they live their *whole* life, not just the bits and pieces of themselves they choose to "show" strangers on an internet forum. It's very easy to project what one chooses to project.
It's quite possible to project onesself as kind, wouldn't hurt a fly, loves everyone, never says a harsh word, donates to charity, goes to church twice a week and all the other things that make one a "perfect person" and a "real friend" in the eyes of some.
But just get one of these "perfect people" angry enough and it all goes out the window. I've seen it, and smiled wryly to myself. Sweetie-pie, indeed.
People you meet on the internet are not your friends. They are people you met on the internet, with whom you have pleasant conversations & enjoy sharing - UNTIL there's a disagreement, which is when you will see the "real" person - whom you may or may not actually even like.
I prefer the bumpier, less glossy and superficial but ultimately more honest and meaningful to me, road.

@Moonchilde, I do think we can make "real" friends here in some cases. Maybe it's all in the definition of a friend? I don't know. But I do know some posters have gone on to post together on Facebook, or share email addresses, or even meet in person and form strong, loving bonds. So, it can happen.

Regarding perfect people... I've yet to meet one. And good people aren't always "superficial" nor are they dishonest. I have a dear friend I often call "an angel on earth." She's an incredible inspiration to me, with her strength of character, powerful faith, positive outlook, and so much more. Even so, when she's in pain or life throws another giant blow... she can have her moments. I know I do. I try to be thoughtful but I don't express myself as well as I'd like and, also, I do have days of pretty wretched physical or emotional pain. I guess, because of that, I try to give others at least some benefit of the doubt rather than be judgmental of their true character. (Not saying that's what you're doing, by the way, just a general comment.)

@dooBdoo, I have been in a wide variety of internet forums since the early 90s. During those years I have had quite a few "online BFFs", blood sisters joined at the hip, etc, several of whom I met IRL. You think it's real. You believe it's real. And it is - for a time.

Then others come into the picture. Disagreements happen; sometimes, a coup takes place. All the sorts of things that occur IRL. The person who one day swore they were your bosom bestie till death has the capability, and may, cut your throat and leave you virtually bleeding to death one day later. To me, those who have happy bestie online friendships have just never had it blow up in their face, and many believe it can't and never, ever will.

All that catwhisperer and I were/are saying is that not everyone is your friend, not everyone is what they seem, and roses have thorns. I know that you know that, but it seems that it's a reality many avoid, ostrich-style.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Hooty · ‎03-09-2010

@shell garden, I don't know who you are but you sure know a lot about me, therefore you must be "hiding" behind a new name!!!

Hooty · ‎03-09-2010

@Moonchilde: SHELLGARDEN, from my POV, you are calling out someone that you don't know, whether it's me or catwhisperer, chiding about improper behavior from your POV - which you of course have the right to do on these forums. But your perceptions of the motivations of people who are strangers to you are no more valid than anyone else's perceptions. So, this rather illustrates my point - that we are all individuals who do not "know" each other, and do not, in many or most instances, "know" what motivates someone to speak, nor do we always understand others. We are free of course to misunderstand, which I believe is the case with you either misunderstanding what catwhisperer is saying or choosing to take "the other side" while trying to shame her for her opinion/feelings.

@shell garden is hiding behind a new name, I do not know who she really is, but I have an idea, and she had to get a new name because she was banned!!!

shell garden · ‎04-28-2015

@Hooty wrote:
@shell garden, I don't know who you are but you sure know a lot about me, therefore you must be "hiding" behind a new name!!!

I do not know anything about you except that you purposely called out the forum Among Friends as not being real friends! That was a little hurtful, don't you think? There are many wonderful and nice people on that forum and your statement seemed to suggest otherwise! Or perhaps I misunderstood your statement! Nonetheless, I hope that forum many blessings!

Hooty · ‎03-09-2010

@shell garden, maybe next time you will read what I wrote, Not "everyone" is your friend!!! Also since you claim to not know me, why would you say "pot calling the kettle black"??? People don't say things about people like that if they do not know them!

This is all I have to say on this matter!