Cash Wedding Gift - Page 3

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

I'd probably just send my regrets if I hardly knew the couple. If you feel you must send something, $25-50 would be more than enough for a non-attendee. What are they going to do…..come after you if you don't give enough to suit them? Smile It's a gift. Give what you can afford or feel like giving.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

I don't quite understand these kind of invites, but I can totally accept that it's just me.

If it's MY wedding, it would seem that I would want to invite the family members and others that I know. It's not my father's wedding. It's not about inviting everybody HE knows, IMO.

For that reason, it reads kind of gift-grabby to me. I'd probably pass entirely unless there was some kind of feeling that it was a work obligation.

I know somebody who recently held a baby shower for her daughter. She invited everybody she knows, 99% of whom the daughter doesn't know from Adam. I said a baby shower is for the girl, her friends, her mother and MIL, etc - but basically people in HER life, not yours. I told her that it felt like a gift grab to me. She swore up and down it wasn't but let it slip that 'well, I figured it would get her some nice things'. Uh, yeah - GIFT GRAB.

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story to me is that the event is about the person (well, and in this case, her husband of course) and not anybody else so I can't imagine inviting people she doesn't even know - unless it's a big ol' grab.

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

Having a child get married is a pretty big event in a parent's life, too. I guess I don't see the problem with parents inviting some of their close friends even though they may not know the couple very well. (I know in this case, they are not close friends, but in general.)

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 faeriemoon said:
I think wedding gift dollar amounts vary around the country. Here in CT, I don't think you could get away with less than $100 as a non-attendee.

(I disagree with the poster who said it doesn't matter if you are going or not. You can difinitely give less if you aren't attending.)

BTW, it does sound like a "gift invitation." However, there is no graceful (or cheap) way out of that.

By rights, it is not considered necessary or appropriate to expect guests to "cover the meal" as they say. That was never proper etiquette. Sounds as if it started with a really cheap father of the bride! Whether we attend or not, it's $50 for a stranger as in this case (and we would not attend), $100 for casual friends, $200 for close friends and family. And we're in NYC.

I didn't mean it in a "covering the meal" kind of way. I meant it as a "I don't really know this person therefore I am giving them less than I would if it were a realative or friend" kind of way. Smile

If I were unable to attend the wedding of a close friend or relative my gift would be the same as it would be if I were attending.

BellaPaprika · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/5/2015 faeriemoon said:
On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 faeriemoon said:
I think wedding gift dollar amounts vary around the country. Here in CT, I don't think you could get away with less than $100 as a non-attendee.

(I disagree with the poster who said it doesn't matter if you are going or not. You can difinitely give less if you aren't attending.)

BTW, it does sound like a "gift invitation." However, there is no graceful (or cheap) way out of that.

By rights, it is not considered necessary or appropriate to expect guests to "cover the meal" as they say. That was never proper etiquette. Sounds as if it started with a really cheap father of the bride! Whether we attend or not, it's $50 for a stranger as in this case (and we would not attend), $100 for casual friends, $200 for close friends and family. And we're in NYC.

I didn't mean it in a "covering the meal" kind of way. I meant it as "I don't really know this person therefore I am giving them less than I would if it were a realative or friend" kind of way.

Sorry, I misunderstood because you said "you can definitely give less if you're not attending". So I took it to mean that had an impact on how much you give. That's why I mentioned what we give is based on how close we are to the hosts.

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 faeriemoon said:
On 3/5/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:
On 3/5/2015 faeriemoon said:
I think wedding gift dollar amounts vary around the country. Here in CT, I don't think you could get away with less than $100 as a non-attendee.

(I disagree with the poster who said it doesn't matter if you are going or not. You can difinitely give less if you aren't attending.)

BTW, it does sound like a "gift invitation." However, there is no graceful (or cheap) way out of that.

By rights, it is not considered necessary or appropriate to expect guests to "cover the meal" as they say. That was never proper etiquette. Sounds as if it started with a really cheap father of the bride! Whether we attend or not, it's $50 for a stranger as in this case (and we would not attend), $100 for casual friends, $200 for close friends and family. And we're in NYC.

I didn't mean it in a "covering the meal" kind of way. I meant it as "I don't really know this person therefore I am giving them less than I would if it were a realative or friend" kind of way.

Sorry, I misunderstood because you said "you can definitely give less if you're not attending". So I took it to mean that had an impact on how much you give. That's why I mentioned what we give is based on how close we are to the hosts.

I'm sorry, I wasn't clear either. ${#emotions_dlg.blush}$ If I were in the OP's shoes, I wouldn't go (because I barely know them) and I would give the minimal gift because I don't know them and I'm not going.

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

I would suggest a gift card to one of the places they are registered at since they do like that store and can be applied to items for the home. $50.00 to $100.00 sounds appropriate. Do they know you will not be a part of the head count for the cost of the reception?

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

Tabbycat · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks ALL, for your thoughts and opinions.

Yes, I sent the RSVP - so they know we won't be attending.

Though we are not close friends nor do we all socialize, I feel we should gift them something on their special day.

Still Tabbycat ~~ Less is More ~~

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

Sounds like a gift grab to me, based on the non-relationship of all of you.

Deb1010again · ‎05-28-2013

On 3/5/2015 Tabbycat said:
Thanks ALL, for your thoughts and opinions.

Yes, I sent the RSVP - so they know we won't be attending.

Though we are not close friends nor do we all socialize, I feel we should gift them something on their special day.

I'm late to the party, but I agree with everything you've said so far. I think $50 is more than enough. I asked my mom and she agrees. We're both from the northeast originally. lol