Community Chat

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Miss Pepsi wrote:

Today women have the vote and have birth control...USE IT.

All I can say is WOW

Last I heard we still had freedom of choice to have as many children as you want

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@Miss Pepsi 

Uh yes ... IF you can afford them.  Use some common sense.  

It costs a fortune to raise and educate a child these days, and being a baby factory doesn't make any sense at all if you cannot care for them properly.  It's about QUALITY and not QUANTITY ... just IMO.   

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Nuttmeg wrote:

@SeaMaiden

Woman were a product of their times. I had family members who lived on farms. Children helped parents. 

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@Nuttmeg 

There was a time when having lots of kids meant you had lots of "hired hands", except for the fact that they weren't hired.  They were forced to work (as you mention, on farms) and while this may have helped with the farmer's success, child labor laws came around because it was taken to extremes.   

[Tessa Mendoza]

Family size is a personal decision.   I'd never judge, as long as I am not asked to foot their bills.

I don't come from a large family, and always wished I had.  I have one sibling but would have loved to have more.   My mom had several miscarriages.  I only have a couple of cousins and we are not close.  It sure wasn't the Walton's.

I have one child and would have loved to have had more so as not for her to be an only child.  

[Tinkrbl44]

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@busymom22 wrote:

It's so much harder now to have a large family because of finances. If you want your child to have a good education, braces for their teeth, sports, college,etc, it takes money.  And because the cost of things like housing and healthcare have skyrocketed it often takes two incomes. But if you want a large family mom then needs to stay home as daycare costs are also prohibitive.

The only people I know with more than 4 kids have a family business that was passed to them. Or the father has a high-level job like a surgeon.

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@busymom22 

The early 1900s were a completely different era .... infant mortality was much higher.  Womem died in childbirth all the time.  Birth control didn't exist ... just abstinence.  

I've seen posts where people think if the kids are loved and fed, that's enough.  Sorry, but I disagree strongly .... parents should be able to provide EDUCATIONS for their kids.

I get the impression that if the kids make it to 18 or 21, the parents think they needn't do anything else.  (Who cares if the young person cannot make enough money to survive on their own?)

Being a parent isn't just about love and full tummies,  although it's a good start.  Children need to be taught LIFE SKILLS and be able to make it in the world; which means college or occupational training in a skill that allows them to support themselves.    

It's up to the couple starting a family to plan ahead.  There is no point whatsoever in having children that will go out into the world and flounder with poverty-level jobs because their parents couldn't afford to educate them.  Let's use some common sense here.   

[KarenQVC]

@Tinkrbl44   I agree.  Only have the number of children that you can raise to true maturation.  In today's world that means moving out of the house and supporting oneself in a decent way.  Parents who let kids hang around the house and get so-so jobs are not doing the kids any favor.

[mimi moon]

@SeaMaiden Your happiness shines through.

[Carmie]

Someone's family size is personal and none of anyone else's' business.

Some people like large families and others small.  There are many people who cannot have children and those who choose not to have any.  Again...personal choice.

Both of my parents come from very large families and I have friends who grew up with many siblings.  One family had 23 children.

To those who think there was no reliable birth control in the 1900's, you are mistaken. Condoms have been in use for thousands of years.

[Free2be]

My maternal grandparents had 18 children, at least 2 sets of twins.  Not all babies survived, all of the twins died shortly after birth and a couple young ones later.  She was born in 1877, a time when it was not uncommon.  She came from a family of 10 siblings that lived to adulthood.  My grandmother loved all of her kids who helped with the gardening and the farm. She nursed neighboring families and held their babies while they died of epidemics. In her elder years when she was widowed she traveled to each adult child's home to spend a few months and help out with their household.. I remember her giving me baths, washing my hair and rinsing by dumping a pail of water over my head.  She was an expert in getting the job done quickly.   

Her mother was widowed at a young age with small children and a large farm to tend to.  She was so poor she had to borrow a dress to wear to town to sell off some equipment for funds.  Nothing in life was easy and pennies were accounted for.

These women were tough as nails.  Only one of my grandmother's children had a large family, the eldest daughter born around 1896.  All the others had around 4 or fewer probably from seeing that there was more to go around when there were fewer bodies having to share plus the kids didn't grow up to own their own family farm, no need to produce worker bees.

[DiAnne]

My father had six sisters and my mother had one brother.  I have one sister.  I personally do not know anyone with more than two children (including me). 

[AngelPuppy1]

Back in the day it was pretty common I think to have larger families for several reasons.  I see no problem with people having large families today as long as they have the means, the mentality, strength, will power, support, and never ending supply of patience and love to do so!