A MAN GOES TO...

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. a lawyer, "What is your fee?" Lawyer says, $1,000 US dollars for 3 questions. Man, "Wow- so much? Isn't it a bit expensive?" Lawyer, "Yes, what is your third question?"

2. Man to his wife: "Do you know what our 6 year old wants to be once he's big?" Wife: "No." Man: "A garbage man. And do you know why?" Wife: "No, why?" Man: "Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays."

3. In a boutique: "Could I try that dress in the shop window, please?" "I'm sorry madam, but no. We have rooms for that."

4. One day, fridge will get their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.

5. Financially I'm set for life. Provided I die next Wednesday.

6. A guy calls the Fire Dept and yells excitedly; "You have to come now, there's a fire." "Okay sir, but please tell us, how do we get to you." The man asks, puzzled; "What, you don't have them big red trucks anymore?"

7. Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period.

8. Daddy reads some bedtime stories to little Johnny to make him sleep. Half an hour later mommy quietly opens the door and asks; "Is he asleep?" Little Johnny answers, "Yes, finally."

9. OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?" Pupil: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What on earth are you talking about?" Pupil: Well, you said yourself yesterday it was H to O."

10. I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That is seven years in a row now.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam