A FEW GIGGLES

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. When people hear that my husband and I just celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary, they inevitably ask us the secret to our long marriage. In response my husband will smile, nod my way, and explain, "We both love me."

2. My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. "No, said the teen. "We have a Toyota."

3. I accidentally threw away my four year old's favorite candy wrapper. Please keep us both in your thoughts during this difficult time.

4. My 11 year old takes his homework seriously. One question required him to write a sentence using the word vision. His sentence: "Have you heard of the version Mary?"

5. After my 91 year old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, "There, now you look ten years younger." My mother, unimpressed replied, "Who wants to look 81 years old?"

THE GENERATION GAP

1. My daughter just asked why we say, "hang up" the phone, and now I feel 90.

2. Just called the DVD player a VCR in front of the kids. Now this will become their childhood memory.

3. My son picked up a phone at my work and said, "What's that noise?" His first dial tone.

4. Seven-year-old: Wow, this must be an antique! It's from way back in the 1900's. Me. OK, calm down, it's from 1997.

5. A plumber fixes a leak in a doctor's house, then bills him for $1,000. "This is ridiculous!" the doctor says. I don't even charge that much. The plumber says, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam