Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

I just don't see it as worthy of even thinking about or being for or against. The difference isn't even noteworthy to me.

Just my two cents, but I never could stand the term "cougar" for women. Why do women need such a term?

[Love my grandkids]

@Ditzydori It's no one's business but yours! If you are both happy, that's what matters! 10 years older or younger is no big deal.

[blackhole99]

I say go for it. I have a great husband who is 8 years older than me and since we both are up there in age, I wish he was even 5 years younger. Once you hit 70 you can really tell you are aging no matter what kind of shape you are in, it's scary.

[KatieB]

No way for me...  I would wonder why he could not find a woman his own age (what's wrong with him), or what he wants from me (money).  It just doesn't make sense to me..    Even a few years is too much for me.... 

[StephaniM]

Huge Yay!  Enjoy yourselves

[Foxxee]

Depends on what he's looking for.  Make sure you know what that is.

One good thing if you decide to marry is most women live longer than their husbands, so there'd be a good chance you wouldn't be alone in your older years.

But, I'd want to know, does he have a good job.  Is he financially secure?  Does he own a house?  Being wealthy isn't the point.  Is he financially stable?

Kids?  Do they all have jobs and are financially secure. Not talking about having a lot of money, but I know of a few cases similar to yours where the husband wasn't.  They were married and he lived off of her.  One of his children was aways in need of money.

I'd also like to know if he was married before.  If so, why did he get a divorce?  How long has he been divorced?

Before he met you, how long has he been dating?  Were the women usually older?  Men his age often look for much younger women.  Make sure he isn't looking for a mother substitute.  There are men like that.

Does he have any health issues that might require you to take care of him in the near future?

Are his parents still living?  If so, how is their marriage?

Think about yourself in 10 years at 75.  You say you are in good shape now, but women's bodies change significantly when they hit the 70's.  You will also begin facing aging medical issues.  Will he be willing to take care of you?

How long have you known him.  You say you both seem to enjoy each others company.  Talk and talk, but what else do you have in common?

Keep in mind when dating, both parties always show their best character and behaviors.  It's living together when things show up...you wondering who did I marry.  

I would offer this advice if he was older than you, too.  Go slowly.  So, not to put a damper on what could be a wonderful relationship, just a warning, get to know this man the best you can before taking that next step.  

[proudlyfromNJ]

My husband is 9 years younger than I am. Been together and married quite awhile. I prefer it this way. I don’t want to be a widow and hopefully I won’t.

What I wouldn’t do personally, is marry a man over 10 years older than me. Just a quirk I have.

[QueenDanceALot]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

I just don't see it as worthy of even thinking about or being for or against. The difference isn't even noteworthy to me.

Just my two cents, but I never could stand the term "cougar" for women. Why do women need such a term?

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@suzyQ3 

I see it as the equivalent of "lech" for men which sounds worse to me.

But I don't think 10 years qualifies for either.

[hellokitty]

Why not?  Life is too short.  Enjoy your relationship and best wishes.

[esmerelda]

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@KatieB wrote:

No way for me...  I would wonder why he could not find a woman his own age (what's wrong with him), or what he wants from me (money).  It just doesn't make sense to me..    Even a few years in too much for me.... 

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@KatieB I had a similar thought. Someone closer to his own age or 10...or 15...years younger, not older.