Book Club

[esmerelda]

@LoriLoriI appreciate the time you took to write that long post and I understand what you're saying.

There is no way I can help this man with his struggle.  He doesn't know me, I don't know him and I doubt we'll ever meet.  And if we did...if I see a person drowning and I don't know how to swim, should I jump in to try to save him?

Reading another's suffering...I don't need to do that to be compassionate toward him/her.  And I risk being dragged down by their misery if I'm dealing with my own.

[LoriLori]

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@esmerelda wrote:

@LoriLoriI appreciate the time you took to write that long post and I understand what you're saying.

There is no way I can help this man with his struggle.  He doesn't know me, I don't know him and I doubt we'll ever meet.  And if we did...if I see a person drowning and I don't know how to swim, should I jump in to try to save him?

Reading another's suffering...I don't need to do that to be compassionate toward him/her.  And I risk being dragged down by their misery if I'm dealing with my own.

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@esmerelda, point taken.  Neither he nor I would want you to go beyond you comfort zone to read the post, let alone risk being dragged down by his misery.  I hope you don't have your own misery nor your loved ones although statistically...

.Anyway, since you didn't read it I want you to know he's not asking for our help.  Well, that's not true, he is asking for our help but not in the way you're thinking:  He's asking to be left alone by everyone except his wife and kids.  No selfies, no publisher meetings, no hellos on the street, no deadlines, no PR, no readings, no pressure and no one but his wife and kids.  He's asking for nothing from everyone and he deserves that nothing and I hope he gets it.

[abbalulu]

@LoriLori thank you for posting this information and link. I just read it last night as we had been traveling. I hope he will be given the space and time that he needs to recover. I'm so glad that he has his fabulous wife to run interference for him. The blog supplied so much food for thought. Especially on the business of publishing today. It's no longer enough to be creative and write wonderful books-you have to get out there and sell,sell,sell which in many cases is at odds with the personality of some creative geniuses. I'm sure some authors are very social and enjoy getting out and meeting fans and others in the business, but for those who aren't I can see that it would be pure torture. And even for those who enjoy it I'm sure that some book tours are exhausting. Selfishly, I hope that Mr. Bachman continues to publish books but I would also understand if he just decided to write for himself. We will have to learn to be happy with whatever his decision is and know that at least he already has published books that we can continue to cherish. Most of all I hope that he finds a place of peace and stability in his own life.

On another note @CareBearsI have always found you to be one of the kindest people. I'm sorry if some in your family cannot see that. You are wise to ignore them and to continue to live for yourself and pursue your own happiness.  

[CareBears]

@abbalulu Thank you, my daughter is the one who dropped me, and the sad thing is she was going to school to be a psychiatrist, selfishly I a m glad she flunked out, can you imagine what kind of damage she might have done to one of her patients?  I guess she looks at me as flawed and unimportant now, but like I mentioned she supports my niece who suffers exactly what I suffer from, my sister also dumped me, but in that case I am glad, I used to fear her calling me and was afraid to answer the phone, she is 8 years younger than I am, and she sees herself has perfect who never makes a mistake!

[abbalulu]

@CareBears I'm very sorry that your daughter feels the way that she does. It's hard to understand how she could have wanted to be a psychiatrist and help strangers with psychiatric problems,yet turn her back on her own mother. I hope some day she sees the light and has a change of heart as I can only imagine how painful her actions toward you have been. As to your sister,if she makes you anxious-it's probably better to keep your distance. I hope some day they both realize that none of us are perfect and we are all just here trying to do the best that we can. Kindness and consideration go such a long way in this world if people would only remember to treat others as they wish to be treated. I'm glad that we have books to lose ourselves in and the book forum full of wonderful friends with which to chat.

[house_cat]

It figures that I'd love his books. It takes one to know one, as they say.

[LoriLori]

@CareBears  @abbalulu   @Yahooey   @Alter Ego  @house_cat   @Judaline  @momoftwo2007   

an update:

His new book, "Things My Son Needs to Know About the World," a nonfiction collection of funny and feel-y writing (short chapters and short notes throughout) is out. 

It's addressed to his first child, then a toddler, and it's mostly very funny tales of his slapstick diaper mishaps, bringing him to preschool with no shoes on, all kinds of fun new-dad stuff and some cute, some feels.

It was published in Sweden in 2012, before the blog post.  As a reminder he wondered in the blog post if he'd ever write again so when I saw this book was being published, this old book of his, I wrongly assumed he's still not okay, still not writing.

The good news is 'Anxious People," his latest novel, a return to the dark and slapstick humor of "Ove," is already out and bestselling in Sweden and will be published here in October.

It's inspired by a very not-funny thing that happened to him which of course in the 2012 book he makes humorous.  But it also puts the blog post in a different light. 

I'm not trying to be vague, I just don't want to spoil it for anyone who will read "Things My Son..." and I hope a lot of you do, it's short and fabulous and at times more personal than he's ever been.  So if anyone has no intentions of reading the new one ask me and I'll put it in a spoiler box.

Aside from the fact that he's a tremendously humble man who is always questioning why he has been so blessed with his wife and kids and huge success (and as an aside, we learn in the new nonfiction book that Parvenah in "Ove" is partly based on his wife, driving and ladders and all), it helps explain his nervous breakdown.  

And the new book, that he wrote it and that it's humorous, tells us he's doing well and if you care about him that's great news and if you know someone suffering and/or it's you, yourself -- it's great to know.

.

[house_cat]

Thank you for the heads up, @LoriLori . I love his books. I'm going to see if I can preorder the newest one - I'm sure to forget by October and it will be a fun surprise when it shows up, lol.

[sunala]

@LoriLori  - I'll give his new one a try as long as it's not about Britt and rats and hockey!

[abbalulu]

@LoriLori  Thank you for telling us about the new book coming out in the fall. I think I will preorder and then I will have a nice surprise coming my way when the time comes for it to arrive.