Beauty

[ellaphant]

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@violann wrote:

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@Tsukiko wrote:

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

The problem is that most doctors know NOTHING about how to actually lose weight. 

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I disagree. It doesn't take a medical degree to know that eating less and moving more will make you lose weight. It's just that it takes more work to maintain a healthy weight. 

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So I'm going to assume, Tsukiko, that you've never had a problem with weight management. Am I correct?

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Sorry, there is no 'magic' to losing weight. Stop with junk food, eat lean, healthy foods, exercise at least 3 times a week- I chose to walk 2 miles at varing paces and elevations on a tread mill.  Works every time.

[ellaphant]

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@Valstybaby wrote:

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@KathyPet wrote:

I am sure your friend's feelings were hurt if she feels she looks fine at her current weight.  HEr feelings might be hurt even worse if she found out her "friend" was posting about her experience on a public bulletin board.  Perhaps you should be talking with her about what her doctor told her.

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Am I missing something? Did she mention her friends name on this Board? NO! Now I know why people are signing off these boards since it seems you can't say anything on them without people being negative.  

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I am the original Poster. Not only did I not name my friend, she does not watch QVC, nor is she on these boards. Grow up!

[ellaphant]

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@castlenv wrote:

IMO it's all well and good for the doctor to recommend she lose weight but then he/she should also offer advice and support on how to do it.  It is much harder to lose weight especially for women as they get older.  I'm 67 and should lose 10 to 15 pounds but it does not come off as easily as it did in my 20s and 30s.  And as long as the person is healthy and comfortable with the weight I don't think 20 pounds is excessively overweight.

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There's the problem: " I don't think 20 pounds is excessively overweight." It is a problem.

[Trinity11]

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@ellaphant wrote:

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@violann wrote:

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@Tsukiko wrote:

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

The problem is that most doctors know NOTHING about how to actually lose weight. 

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I disagree. It doesn't take a medical degree to know that eating less and moving more will make you lose weight. It's just that it takes more work to maintain a healthy weight. 

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So I'm going to assume, Tsukiko, that you've never had a problem with weight management. Am I correct?

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Sorry, there is no 'magic' to losing weight. Stop with junk food, eat lean, healthy foods, exercise at least 3 times a week- I chose to walk 2 miles at varing paces and elevations on a tread mill.  Works every time.

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With one qualifier.......meds that promote weight gain ....all the dieting in the world will not help with losing weight. There are many women and men who must take medications to stay alive that promote weight gain and living on an 800 calorie a day diet is contra-indicated.

That's why no one should just throw out blanket statements that anyone can lose weight by just exercising and eating healthy.

[Yardlie]

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@Blingqueen023 wrote:

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@ellaphant wrote:

A friend of mine started seeing a new Internist. At the initial exam she was told by the doctor she would like to see her lose 20 pounds by the end of the year. The doctor also gave her materials on the dangers of excess weight especially carried around the stomach. My friend does need to lose 20 pounds. She was upset by the doctors directness. She said she wasn't rude, just blunt.  I am 63 and weigh less than I did in college. I don't understand all the women in America who are profoundly overweight and do not unerstand the health risks it can cause.  We are quick to say a woman is too skinny if she is 20 pounds underweight, but take offense at being told to lose 20 pounds. It's a health issue.

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@ellaphant Not to be rude, but this is your friend that you put on a shopping board.  A doctor appt. should be kept private between friends if your friend wanted to share what the doctor said.  If I was your friend and it was me displayed on this shopping board I'd be embarrassed and hurt that you would tell the world  about the appointment.  wow!  what some people think of posting.  

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I always think this is so silly when someone criticizes someone else for posting a situation about a friend "on a bulletin board." Did she post her friend's name, SS#, address, phone number? No! Online bulletin boards are confidential. Nobody knows who @ellaphant is...and certainly nobody knows who her friends and relatives are.

[Mominohio]

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@ellaphant wrote:

A friend of mine started seeing a new Internist. At the initial exam she was told by the doctor she would like to see her lose 20 pounds by the end of the year. The doctor also gave her materials on the dangers of excess weight especially carried around the stomach. My friend does need to lose 20 pounds. She was upset by the doctors directness. She said she wasn't rude, just blunt.  I am 63 and weigh less than I did in college. I don't understand all the women in America who are profoundly overweight and do not unerstand the health risks it can cause.  We are quick to say a woman is too skinny if she is 20 pounds underweight, but take offense at being told to lose 20 pounds. It's a health issue.

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As a woman who has battled weight all my life, I will tell you that it is the way many doctors talk to us about our weight that is borderline abusive. Many male doctors especially, are more blunt and judgemental when they talk about a woman's weight than they are with men (I know this because I have seen it when taking my almost adult son to the doctor relative to the way I am talked to).

I've seen smokers, heavy alcohol users and drug users treated more kindly than women with weight issues when seeing a medical professional.

People who are overweight know the risks. Many are battling other conditions and medications that make it hard to do the things they need to to keep the weight down. Being overweight for many is so much more than too much dessert or no willpower. There are physical and psychological pinnings to many people's weight problems. 

I think the biggest problem is that overweight people are often seen and treated as a 'scourge' and it doesn't sit well. It gets angering and hurtful to be looked at and talked to like you are stupid, lazy, undisciplined, etc. 

And for others, it is a choice. Twenty pounds over, for some people based on their height and age, is not obese or out of control. They choose to be comfortable in their own skin, enjoy food or their lifestyle, rather than fit the category that science and society deem appropriate today (don't blink, that may change!).

[Yardlie]

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@Desertdi wrote:

Sometimes, I think they just "recite from the rule book"............I was once told that I was OVERWEIGHT...........at 103 pounds.    OK, maybe 5 pounds over the MINIMUM.    I am short, but have broad shoulders, and a wide (east to west) hip bone structure.    In other words, I am not "petite"..............

After the doctor and nurse got thru yelling at me.............when I checked out at the reception desk...........the clerk continued the harangue........in front of the whole waiting room......................

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@Desertdi ... The HIPPA privacy act for medical offices went into effect in the mid-1990's. The clerk at the front desk cannot say anything about you within hearing range of other patients. Doctors and nurses are trained not to "yell" at their patients. They are trained to educate their patients. The next time you go to the doctor, you will know to educate them about the HIPPA laws (which they know)...and tell your doctor that "yelling"  or "verbally abusing" a patient is not acceptable behavior for a doctor or nurse...and could be grounds for a lawsuit these days.

[Mominohio]

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@BaileyQ wrote:

Perhaps your friend is happy with her weight. If she is then she needs to tell her doctor that. Sometimes doctors want women, especially older women, to obtain an unreachable goal. There are studies that show that people over 65 live longer with a little extra weight than under weight people, normal weight people or obese people.

But even if she does want and need to lose weight, I can understand that it isn't fun to hear. She will have to decide for herself if she wants to lose 20 pounds, 10 pounds, or none at all.. She does have a choice and she should discuss her wants with her doctor.

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Yep. People need to remember that  doctors aren't gods. They give recommendations based on their training, much like any other profession. We are under no obligation to buy into their program if we choose not to. 

We are paying for advice, expertise and services. Like other professions we don't have to take it all and use it all. We have every right to pick and choose what we wish to follow based on any criteria we see fit.

I never see people get in a miff and ask the 'why would anyone go to the....and then not follow their advice or get upset' question about an interior decorator, or a wedding planner or a hair stylist or a plumber, or an electrician. We go and pay for a service, have our own ideas and input, then choose what parts of the advice we choose to incorporate or follow. Why should it be any different with doctors? They aren't any different than any other profession. You will find opinions and recommendations across the spectrum, and no universal 'right' answer coming from all of them, just like any other field.

[chrystaltree]

I think I missed the point of the post.  I thought it would be about how your friend lost 20lbs.  Certainly she didn't lose it because a doctor told her it would be benefical to her health. 

[SilleeMee]

I don't have a weight problem but many of my close friends do. It's my personal observation that I believe that most of my overweight friends KNOW they ARE overweight and they really don't like being told to lose the weight. Simply put...they don't care, they don't feel it's important enough to lose weight or they have just given up. I wouldn't like it either if my doc told me I had a weight problem.