Beauty

[blackhole99]

I think anyone can look more than presentable with the right hair cut, clothes and grooming.

[Goldengate8361]

With all due respect, this is kind of an odd question.

[Desertdi]

I don't think the term "hot" has anything to do with beauty...................

[Mrsq2022]

I agree that this is an odd question....but I'll give my opinion anyway.

You are born with a face and inherited features (height, hair texture, etc) that you can't do much about.  You can, however, control your lifestyle choices, take care of your skin and body, dress in flattering clothes and groom yourself....and look beautiful.  I firmly believe that all women can be beautiful even if they aren't born "classic" beauties like Catherine Zeta Jones.  

...And women who are born "classic beauties" can make themselves very unattractive by their lifestyle and behavior choices. Who would think that someone with a "pretty face" but horrible hygiene was "hot"?  

[Mrsq2022]

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@HomeShoppingLover87 wrote:

@Rachb Yeah. I feel like part of the issue, though, is that rather than those eye-of-the-beholder quirks we all have, there has become this universal standard of what "hot" is. And then you're treated like a weirdo if you think someone is goodlooking who doesn't fit that mold of well-groomed/well-dressed/slender. 

I personally believe it stems from the exceptionalism that is known to have been taught to a lot of young people today as children. You can be anything you want to be, everyone is special, everyone gets a medal for participating, etc. So the grownup equivalent of that is, "Anyone can be hot if he or she tries hard enough."

It seems like anything coming to someone naturally is seen as an affront in today's culture; we've been conditioned to value effort, not gifts. Whether that's a good lesson or not, I'm not sure. But it is interesting how things have changed. I wasn't around back then, but I feel like when people like Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor were considered the gold-standard of beauty, some of the women who, by contrast, were cast as the ugly-ducklings could easily get away with being the "hot" characters now if they just put on the right dress and changed their hair.

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I'm just curious - do you think that was better?  It sounds like you feel the so-called "ugly ducklings" should stay in their place and not try to look their best.  That somehow as a culture, we've been "conditioned" to accept beauty in a wider range than in the past.  I think that's really an ugly concept personally.  

I don't think this has anything to do with exceptionalism.  I'm glad that we don't just look at white skin and blue eyes as the gold standard.  

[TY]

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but physical beauty has always been captivating. I think it's social media and the ever present selfie culture now that has added a layer of pressure to be beautiful just not pretty when it comes to famous people. I also think it filters down to the average Joe or Jane too.

[segrl21]

Know this may be taken wrong but.....people now tend to dress much more 'sloppy' than women of the past.  One of the main reason its expensive if you do clothing, MU & treatments.  A lot of women have to choose between this or that and can't do the whole package . People are making a lot less money, have less expendable money, so things like clothing & beauty treatments are neglected. So when any woman puts a lot of effort  & money into clothing, hair, MU, she stands out more and is noticable. Heck, I notice them. Women in the past, especially in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s put a lot of thought, money and work into how they looked.  So it wasn't as uncommon and normal. Also, in my experience women are often way more harsh than men when it comes to attractiveness....and have never figured out why.

[tucsongal]

OK,  I can't get past the first sentence where the OP states that there was a post about men making their wives have long hair. I imagine that was interesting 😳

[Jacie]

I think to begin with we are all in a genetic lottery.

Beyond that, bathing, clean clothes and washing your hair put you in the line that says I care something about myself and how I present myself to others!

In business, when I  interview people, especially teenagers, I didn't mind if they were wearing jeans, but they had to be intact, clean and not wrinkled.

An executive interview was a totally different ball game of course.

"Hot" is relative. I'd rather be with the person who's clean and hysterically funny!

[QueenDanceALot]

I don't think that "beautiful" and "hot" are the same things.  Plenty of men and women out there who many would consider "hot" but not necessarily "beautiful".  And vice versa.

And I have no idea why we need or want some sort of "gold standard" for either one.

I've never felt any pressure to think that anyone is either "hot" or "beautiful".

Guess I don't really get the OP's question.  It's weird.

Maybe advertising and such make these determinations, but it's just advertising.  And if you look at fashion and beauty magazines today, their depictions of beauty are quite diverse as compared to the narrow spectrum of years past. 

Beauty and hotness are all in the eye of the beholder.  Always has been, always will be.