Beauty

[BRANDONLEE]

First off....THIS GUY IS A CHARMER!!If he is no wonder your family melts over him.Your mother is wrong wrong.A lot of the posters are telling you maybe they are doing this because of the kids I DON'T THINK SO.Also if he makes a lot of money he could rent or stay in a nice hotel to visit the kids not stay at your mother's.Maybe he wants to stay close to your family so he thinks there will be a chance with you again.My x brother'n law was such a charmer that everyone loved him and he did no wrong.I think your family will come around once they find him out.But in the mean time i think i would just hold my head up and let the pieces fall as they may.Good luck......Also disregard other posters telling you there are two sides of a story this is what you get around here from the high and mighty.

[BRANDONLEE]

On 11/10/2014 Mayfayre said: I don't think that it's fair to knock the people who aren't automatically rushing to give the OP tea and sympathy. If you put your private problems up on a public forum, then you are going to get opinions and comments from the entire spectrum. Every one is allowed to comment in a public forum, and no one should be told to stay out of it just because they might be posting a differing opinion or may not be perceived as sympathetic. We are neither a support group nor a professional counseling service; we are just people commenting on various conversations started by others, and no one post has more validity than another. If you need hand-holding and unconditional pats on the back, then a public forum is not the place to look for that. We are not a hive mind, and each of us approach a discussion from a totally unique perspective and not all comments will pass the apparent sympathy litmus test that some seem to think should be applied.

That was uncalled for.You come on these boards for support not for knocking someone.She obviously stated in her post she didn't have anyone to talk to.Gee wiz lady some sympathy.

[kt4357]

There is a website called DailyStrength. When I went through a divorce I joined and got on the divorce forum. I suggest you check it out. Everyone on there is going through the same thing and there is a lot of support. Good luck!

[terrier3]

When there are kids involved - there should be no "sides."

Sooner or later, everyone needs to put the past IN the past and all get along. You are joined to this man forever through your children, just as your parents are as well. It's been two years - time to stop.

It's a GOOD thing that your family helps him stay in touch with his children. Better than the opposite. Too many men totally abandon their families - often using the excuse that the ex and her family make it too tough for him to stay close to the kids.

I know it hurts - my son has a half brother 5 months younger than he is - so I know exactly what you are going through. But the day I forgave and tried to forget was the start of a great new life for ME.

Please try to get to that point. He disappointed you - don't help him disappoint your children as well.

[Tzu4u]

I am sorry your family does not support you more. It sounds like your X has more in common with your family than you do. the saying "blood is thicker than water" is just a saying. It does not, in reality mean anything.

You must build your own family. Not all of us have good "blood relatives". this does not mean you cannot build a strong support group around you and your children. Your Dad & uncle are there for you.

You have been asked a couple times on this thread about your family & your X's lifestyles being more compatible than you are with your family. I am guessing this has to do with alcohol. I have been there. If you want a new saying, try "alcohol is thicker than blood".

I may be wrong on this, but alcohol has caused more fights and splits in families. There is no rational thinking when alcohol is involved.

[anika]

On 11/15/2014 kt4357 said: There is a website called DailyStrength. When I went through a divorce I joined and got on the divorce forum. I suggest you check it out. Everyone on there is going through the same thing and there is a lot of support. Good luck!

Thank you for DailyStrength suggestion!

[kcladyz]

I know how you feel. I came from a family where I was never loved. My mom abandoned me when I was 11 or so and my dad only raised me out of obligation. When ever I came home from college i was made to feel like I was not even welcome in the home I grew up in. When I left my abusive husband he called my step mom and talked bad about me and because of that I have not seen my dad in 20 years. I did nothing wrong. I was never a bad child yet always treated with hatred even from my half-sister. I am 45 and she never called me not even once in all my life. never invited home to meet my nephew and nieces. I know how empty it feels when your family does not support you.

I feel if your family likes him there is nothing wrong with him being friends with them but you not being invited to a party was wrong. You should have been invited and told that he was coming too.

[KateChopin]

On 11/15/2014 kcladyz said:

I know how you feel. I came from a family where I was never loved. My mom abandoned me when I was 11 or so and my dad only raised me out of obligation. When ever I came home from college i was made to feel like I was not even welcome in the home I grew up in. When I left my abusive husband he called my step mom and talked bad about me and because of that I have not seen my dad in 20 years. I did nothing wrong. I was never a bad child yet always treated with hatred even from my half-sister. I am 45 and she never called me not even once in all my life. never invited home to meet my nephew and nieces. I know how empty it feels when your family does not support you.

I feel if your family likes him there is nothing wrong with him being friends with them but you not being invited to a party was wrong. You should have been invited and told that he was coming too.

My heart is breaking for you, k. I am so sorry you had to go through this. You should write them all a letter and tell them how you feel.

To the OP, you should tell your family (calmly) how this hurts you. Ask your ex to avoid falling back on YOUR family because it is YOUR safe place to land.