Beauty

[aprilskies]

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@geezerette wrote:

I've been starting to look online at houses for sale in my little town.  I'm nowhere near ready to move yet, but I've been thinking about it a lot more lately.  I'd like to wait until Carla is gone or at least a few years older (and hopefully calmer and less destructive) to move.  Provided my health and finances hold up that long. 🤞 

Anyway, I found an adorable little place that would be close to perfect for me, although there are some negatives, which there always are of course.  

But that's not the purpose of my post.  This place was staged so well.  It was decorated cute, clean, lots of windows so it was light. But what got to me after I looked at the photos for the upteenth time was it was minimalist.  Where I live it seems like 99% of the people love to overstuff their homes.  There were a couple that I couldn't even get an idea of the home's layout because there was just too much stuff everywhere.

But the longer I looked at these house photos the more I started to panic: I can't live like this!  Where would I put 'X', or how would I fit 'Y' in this layout?!  Yes, I do realize that more than likely most of this couple's possessions were stashed in the garage in order to take the pictures.  But it got me to seriously start questioning myself--I've wanted to cut down for so long, but can I actually do it, when the time comes?

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@geezerette, but this is a good test run for you to see and envision what you really want around you. I hope you keep sharing your house hunting and journey with us. I will be looking myself this year.  And this reminds me that I probably should make this a habit every day as well.  I dont want to find myself at the end of another year not feeling any closer to my goal. 

I dont want a minimalist house but I do want an organized one where everything has its place. 

This year I will be working on my lamp situation.  I still havent replaced the one that is broken. It kills me because the lamp works fine, it is just broken on a hinge so it hangs crooked. But it is not nice to look at when I walk into the room. So, I will need to work on replacing it. 

Good luck if you are looking.  You are ready to move off your land? 

[aprilskies]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@aprilskies wrote:

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Today I unsubscribed from Ulta and Macys.  Ulta I was surprised about becausee I do like their coupons. But most of them are online anyway and the rest I can make do with paying a little bit more. It is just too tempting for me and if I go looking I, without fail, will find something I absolutely think I need or want. 

Plus, Ulta, Macys and Kohls were incessant with their emails. I am still getting them with a vengeance.  

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@aprilskies 

I can't keep up with the volume of e-mail.  At some point I'm going to have to rid myself of Ulta, Aveda, philosophy and a few others.  I don't need the constant reminders.

Did you commit to your "intention" plan?  I posted 6 steps that looked like they might be doable.

1. Visualize your ideal day

2. Implement small daily habits

3. Know your priorities

4. Get rid of clutter

5. Be intentional about your health

6. Be intentional about what you eat

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@aprilskies 

@just bee 

I have unsubscribed to several email notifications.  And the retail emails that I still do have coming in I just delete before I even read them unless they pertain to an order I placed.

Also, I've been throwing out all catalogs without opening them, either.  I figure I can go a whole year without buying any clothes, so I don't even want to be tempted.  I don't watch much QVC anymore and only buy clothes from them rarely, so I doubt I'll be tempted with that either.

It's rare for me to actually think on my own of some sort of clothes item that I need.  Pretty much all clothing I've bought in the last few years has been because I saw it somewhere--TV, catalog, email, internet site, etc.  Then, like magic, I couldn't get it out of my mind.  Zero to sixty in one glance! ☺️

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@geezerette, EXACTLY!!!  It doesnt even matter what the category.  Most of my purchases are because I see something and then I am like a moth to a flame. There is always something to buy. Some I buy and then I forget I bought it. 

One of the reason I unsubscribed to most emails.  I figured later on I can always subscribe again if I want. 

This will definitely take some work. 

[rnmom]

@geezerette -Good luck on your house hunt! I still think about moving all the time too but it's just not feasible right now. The kids are still young and don't want to change schools. I don't want to drive even farther to work. Plus we have 4 dogs and tons of stuff.

I like our house, we went to so much work and expense to buy the land, clear it, build the house, etc, etc, etc. But even after almost 8 years I'm still not totally comfortable here. I'm always worried that something will go wrong with the plumbing or heating, and we'll have some big repair with a big mess and an even bigger bill. Plus it's way more expensive in taxes than I ever dreamed it would be. The tax bill is almost as much as our mortgage.

I'm sure it doesn't help that since the day we moved in we've had nothing but problems, and it seems like we've been constantly fixing something or doing some sort of "home improvement" project. I feel like this dream home has been "the money pit". So I definitely have mixed feelings about staying vs. going. I will be sad, but I am so over all the trouble. 

We're planning on waiting at least 5 years, hopefully we will be down at least a couple of dogs by then, and both kids will be old enough to drive so they can stay in their school district if they want to. Then we will probably seriously start to look for something else. 

Keep us updated to how your hunt is going!

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

I've been starting to look online at houses for sale in my little town.  I'm nowhere near ready to move yet, but I've been thinking about it a lot more lately.  I'd like to wait until Carla is gone or at least a few years older (and hopefully calmer and less destructive) to move.  Provided my health and finances hold up that long. 🤞 

Anyway, I found an adorable little place that would be close to perfect for me, although there are some negatives, which there always are of course.  

But that's not the purpose of my post.  This place was staged so well.  It was decorated cute, clean, lots of windows so it was light. But what got to me after I looked at the photos for the upteenth time was it was minimalist.  Where I live it seems like 99% of the people love to overstuff their homes.  There were a couple that I couldn't even get an idea of the home's layout because there was just too much stuff everywhere.

But the longer I looked at these house photos the more I started to panic: I can't live like this!  Where would I put 'X', or how would I fit 'Y' in this layout?!  Yes, I do realize that more than likely most of this couple's possessions were stashed in the garage in order to take the pictures.  But it got me to seriously start questioning myself--I've wanted to cut down for so long, but can I actually do it, when the time comes?

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@geezerette 

That's why I'd made so little progress before the fire.  I was trying to change my way of thinking and that allowed me to pull out some items to donate.  But there were certain things I needed to pare down and that was hard.  I'd started tackling the books and removed many of my political books from the shelves.  My next move would have been the cookbooks because they had already been pulled off the shelves and were stacked on the dining room table when we had to move the bookcase to get to the leak behind the wall.

Fiction would be next.  But none of that happened.  Instead, we had a fire.  The other day I remembered irreplaceable texts from two classes and wondered if I had saved them.  I was so frustrated because I couldn't remember.  And these were such great resources.  So now I'm looking forward to unpacking to see what we actually did save, yet dreading it at the same time because I know I'll discover I left things behind that I probably shouldn't have.

Still, I'll cope.  I have no choice.

Your post is interesting because it also reminds me of all those HGTV shows like Love It or List It.  A couple decides that they hate their home.  While it's being renovated, they look at other homes in their area.  In each case, the new option has both positives and negatives.  Great master bath!  Too far from work!  Fabulous floor plan!  But where do we put the kids?

There is no perfect house.  And no perfect neighborhood.

But then, at the end of the show, the couple has to make a decision:  Keep the house they have that's been totally overhauled or move into a different one.  Love their house or list it.

Most of the time they love it.  Why?  Because all the cr@p that they'd stuffed into it has been removed.

BH's question is always the same: Will they still love it when they haul all their cr@p back into it?

Many of the houses I've seen (in real life) have stuffed garages.  The garage has become a storage place.  In Albuquerque, we're seeing a lot of new construction.  New homes (no yards), new businesses.  One business popping up everywhere is storage.  What's everyone storing?  Are people living in these storage units?

You said it yourself.  If your stuff is in boxes and you haven't been using it, do you really need it?

Again, the answer is above the neck.  We have to change the way we think about things.

[just bee]

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@rnmom wrote:

@geezerette -Good luck on your house hunt! I still think about moving all the time too but it's just not feasible right now. The kids are still young and don't want to change schools. I don't want to drive even farther to work. Plus we have 4 dogs and tons of stuff.

I like our house, we went to so much work and expense to buy the land, clear it, build the house, etc, etc, etc. But even after almost 8 years I'm still not totally comfortable here. I'm always worried that something will go wrong with the plumbing or heating, and we'll have some big repair with a big mess and an even bigger bill. Plus it's way more expensive in taxes than I ever dreamed it would be. The tax bill is almost as much as our mortgage.

I'm sure it doesn't help that since the day we moved in we've had nothing but problems, and it seems like we've been constantly fixing something or doing some sort of "home improvement" project. I feel like this dream home has been "the money pit". So I definitely have mixed feelings about staying vs. going. I will be sad, but I am so over all the trouble. 

We're planning on waiting at least 5 years, hopefully we will be down at least a couple of dogs by then, and both kids will be old enough to drive so they can stay in their school district if they want to. Then we will probably seriously start to look for something else. 

Keep us updated to how your hunt is going!

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@rnmom 

We were posting at the same time.  Your post reinforces my point: There is no perfect house, no perfect neighborhood.

I got very little sleep this week because crews were at the neighbors' house, jackhammering.  Lemme back up a minute.  The house on the corner had a major leak over the holidays.  I went out to check the mail and a woman came running up to me to tell me there was a leak at the neighbors' house and asked me if I could do something about it.  I must have that kind of face.  Oh, look!  Here's someone who will take on the responsibility!

I told her I'd check the water company's website, get the emergency number and contact them.  Actually, BH called.  He must have one of those faces, too.  Turns out the owner's not in the house.  Her husband passed away and she's renovating the thing -- probably planning to sell it.

Fast forward.  This week the people next door sprung a leak.  But the plumber hit a gas line.  Crews including the fire department came to check it out.

As much as I love this little house and this neighborhood, I couldn't invest in a property here.  These places are starting to fall apart.  The infrastructure is starting to go, too.

It's why we bought new in the first place.  As much as I wanted to live in an older home in an established neighborhood, all I could see was plumbing and electrical issues.

Explains why no one stays in their home anymore.  They move out before it falls down around their ears.  I was at that point with our house.  Things were going south, but we were addressing them one at a time.

Now everything's being addressed.  The bad news is that there are issues with the new construction we'll have to worry about.

This is why people rent.

[just bee]

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@aprilskies wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@aprilskies wrote:

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Today I unsubscribed from Ulta and Macys.  Ulta I was surprised about becausee I do like their coupons. But most of them are online anyway and the rest I can make do with paying a little bit more. It is just too tempting for me and if I go looking I, without fail, will find something I absolutely think I need or want. 

Plus, Ulta, Macys and Kohls were incessant with their emails. I am still getting them with a vengeance.  

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@aprilskies 

I can't keep up with the volume of e-mail.  At some point I'm going to have to rid myself of Ulta, Aveda, philosophy and a few others.  I don't need the constant reminders.

Did you commit to your "intention" plan?  I posted 6 steps that looked like they might be doable.

1. Visualize your ideal day

2. Implement small daily habits

3. Know your priorities

4. Get rid of clutter

5. Be intentional about your health

6. Be intentional about what you eat

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@just bee, yes, these are perfect and exactly what I need to do this year, you captured them perfectly. However, I havent done one yet. I had a few weeks off from work and going back wasnt exactly pleasant. I felt instant stress, which is the very reason why I need to incorporate these 6 things in the first place.  Add in a little depression and I was out of sorts.

But actually, I have incorporated one now that I think about it. A small habit of getting washed up early so when it is time for bed, the whole process doesn't wake me up. ....and believe me, this is small but big for me. 

And actually another of using my water pik. I had gotten a new one earlier last year and I keep staring at it on my vanity. So, now I make sure to use it every night. I don’t like the messiness but will live with it. 

So two small habits incorporated. It is a start. 

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@aprilskies 

That's huge!

They might seem small, but they're not.  Both are so important to your health.  The ritual of washing your face and caring for your skin and teeth will pay off.  I've been better about flossing and brushing because I have a night guard again.  I can't afford to keep damaging my teeth.  Chewing is just too important to me.

So this is the start of something big.  A habit here and a habit there and you've rewired your brain.

Keep going!  It will help with the depression, too, because you'll start seeing and feeling the changes you've made.

[just bee]

One area where I had little trouble was with hair accessories.  After the fire I tossed bands, barrettes, brushes and anything else that a person with long hair would want or need.

I was a short-haired person and would remain so.

Time has pased and I haven't had a hair cut since the one before the fire.  I suddenly have long hair again.  Actually, it's a long mullet.  My short layered cut has grown out and the front part is at my jawline, while the back is making its way to my shoulders.

I know I should address this because I have to leave my home on occasion and live amongst others out there.  But I have no desire to go to a salon.  I'm thinking about trimming a little bit off the back to reduce the full-mullet thing, but I can't seem to get motivated.

One thing I do know: I don't want to cut it all off right now.

@geezerette  had mentioned that she kept her hair a reasonable length and just trimmed it.  Simple.  That stuck with me.  I want to not have to maintain a certain type of cut.  I don't color it; in fact, I'm waiting for it to just change to whatever color it's going to be.  I've always described my hair color as "squirrel."  Now it will be "old squirrel."

New year, new decade, new "old" hair.

The good thing, I guess, is that I've ended the relationship with the person who had been cutting my hair.  Sometimes I think I owe her an explanation for my absence (been busy, house burned) but do I really? 

[just bee]

@aprilskies  had mentioned living with intention back in December and I posted some ways to do that (lifted from an online article, of course).

Well, there are dozens of such articles so I will post "highlights" from a few of them here so you don't have to sift through all of them.

Here's a list of ten:

1. Ask yourself, what does success look like to me?

Getting clear or what you value and taking the necessary steps to seize it is a reflection of reaching your highest level of maturity, regardless of your age. Freedom, certainty and happiness are the rewards.

* As opposed to fear, uncertainty and doubt.

2. Picture a day in your ideal life

Where are you? Who are you with? What is your time spent doing?  Your ideal life can often be closer and more attainable than you think.

3. Get real about your fears

We humans have many fears, but they typically fall into one of two groups. The first is not having enough, the second is the fear of not being enough.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others

Buddha said, 'comparison is the thief of joy'.  Focus and commit to being the best version of yourself.

5. Remember, you can’t control everything

I once heard that we can control only 20 per cent of our daily lives. But what we can do is give 100 per cent to our 20 per cent and surrender the rest. 

6. Let 10 minutes daily transform you

Every morning, spend 10 minutes when you first wake up thinking about the day ahead and what you want from it.  Think to yourself — how do I want to feel today? What would I love to achieve?  The first few minutes after waking are the most crucial in setting the tone and your mood for the entire day.

7. Listen to your inner voice

We all have an internal guiding system. Those who live their lives with purpose tune into theirs regularly.  Pay attention and obey it. Little by little, your life will transform when you do.

8. Protect and direct your energy wisely

I am a large proponent of eliminating what does not serve you in your life. This pertains especially to people. Choose friends that uplift, support and inspire you. Get around them more and be a giving and encouraging friend, too. Energy is currency — invest it where it matters most.

9. Remember the impermanence of all things — including life itself

The only constant in life is change. Therefore, the more we welcome change and the less we become attached to things — jobs, possessions, circumstances of any kind — the easier life becomes. A mindset of, 'when something does not go my way, something better is waiting' always proves true. Let this guide you through tricky times.

10. Keep a reality check

Ancient Greeks used to understand and practice two important philosophies. Firstly, they understood that happiness was the joy you experience when you are striving towards your potential.

Secondly, they believed in 'practicing death every day.'  Remember your time on Earth is fleeting.  Let this motivate you, drive you and eradicate your concern about what other people think.

Getting clear on what you value, planning each day with intention, surrounding yourself with supportive people and staying true to your purpose are the key ingredients to living your life by design.

* Text in red is my two cents.

[just bee]

Here's one with seven suggestions:

Use your free will.

Whatever happens, you have free will how to respond to the situation. 

Be present.

It means being wholeheartedly engaged in what you are doing and what is going on, right here, right now, physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Cultivate mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the way to presence. It includes being grounded, aware of yourself, your surroundings and the people in them.

Adjust your expectations.

Some people try to ward off potential shocks by censoring their expectations in advance: I always expect the worst so I won’t be hit so hard when bad things happen. Other people avoid optimism because they are afraid of not being able to cope when things turn out badly: If I don’t expect much I won’t be disappointed.

It’s a strange logic with a touch of superstition: Expecting to feel bad later, they’d rather not feel good now. Such attitudes often become self-fulfilling prophecies. With so much attention given to negative expectations, how could anything positive find its way in?

Appreciate your uniqueness.

Do you appreciate the You that is you?  When you truly appreciate your special characteristics there is no need for feeling bad about being different. You do not need to conform to how others do things if that is not a good fit for you.

Assess what is really important to you.

Purpose provides a direction for life; you know what you want to express or achieve and look for ways of doing that. Purpose is different than goals. A purpose relates to the road to be traveled, whereas goals are the stops along the way. When the direction you are taking is significant and worthwhile to you, your life has meaning. 

Imposed situations can also lead to reviewing how life is going. For example, after traumatic experiences many people seek to share their knowledge and insights for the benefit of others. They set up charities, do volunteer work, give talks, create art or write a book. Focused on issues greater than themselves, they seek to contribute something valuable to the world and themselves.

Find your own meaning and purpose.

Your ideas do not have to be spectacular, public or even specific. They can be a feeling, longing for something better, a sense of overall direction and destination. It may be something bigger than yourself, a vision that energizes and fills life with interest and challenge. Or you can be like an athlete working to improve her PB – personal best – and become the best version of yourself you can be. Whatever you choose will be important for expressing who you are and what is of value to you.

Other people might try and tell you the direction to take and what your purpose should be. Don’t be distracted or diverted but find what is right for you and makes you feel good about yourself. Choose your own road to travel even if is not a smooth ride. To find your way towards new meaning and purpose, consider some of the following questions:

• What is it that makes my life worth living?
• What do I want my life to be?
• Who do I want to be?
• How can I express my special gifts and characteristics?
• What can I introduce into my life that will give me fulfilment, joy and a sense of direction?
• What would I like mentioned about me in a funeral service or etched into my tombstone?

[just bee]

Here's another one:

• Realize that your life is made up of choices. Every morning is a new day full of decisions and opportunities. You get to pick your attitude and your decisions. You don’t have to let the circumstances of your past negatively determine the pattern of your life in the future. You have a choice in the matter. You do not need to be stuck in the same pattern of living that you have been for years… realize that every morning is a new opportunity.
• Evaluate the culture that you’re swimming in. Life is not lived in a vacuum. It is lived surrounded by a culture that is moving somewhere. This culture around us forms a swift downstream current. Living with intention will require you to take a step back and evaluate the flow of the stream to determine where it is headed, how it is affecting you, and if it is taking you in a direction you desire.
• Examine yourself. Know who you are. Get a strong handle on your passions, talents, abilities, and weaknesses. Give precious time and energy to this endeavor. It is one of the most valuable things you can do.

Second, Add Practical Steps.

• Decide to live your life. Stop comparing yourself to others. You were not born to live their life. There is no sense in wasting yours being jealous of theirs. Instead, you were born to live your life – determine today to be good at it. After all, you only get one shot.
• Define a purpose. Identify what you want your life to communicate and contribute. Find a passion to live for that is bigger than yourself. It will wake you from the slow death of only living for yourself.
• Set goals. Goals move us and goals shape us. Set goals that are directly in line with your defined purpose. By their very nature, they will introduce intentionality into your life.
• Stay focused. We live in a world of constant connectivity and distraction that is begging for our attention nearly every moment of the day. Learn to turn off the distraction and live your life instead. Remove nonessential physical belongings that are robbing you of time and energy that could be better spent living with intention.
• Learn from others. Successful people are curious people. They possess the humility to learn from others. Identify people accomplishing your purpose and goals. Then, study them and learn from them.