I am responding from the viewpoint of my 87 year old mother with late stage dementia, who agrees that getting old is awful.
Mom became a widow at 70. After being a caregiver for her entire family, and my dad, Mom took control of her own life and did things that made her happy. She got involved with church activities, lunched with friends, visited with shut in friends, and made decisions without having to think about others first.
Mom enjoyed about 7 years of this lifestyle before a mini stroke caused things to change. First came the early signs of mental changes. Then one day I followed Mom home from town which led me to strongly urge her to stop driving, because she was aware of nothing around her as she drove. More and more things got lost in the house, her debit and credit cards were declined because they had expired and she had shredded the new ones, "because she already had cards in her wallet". My brother gets a call that her washer is broken; it wouldn't accommodate the comforter Mom tried to wash, that had always been taken to the laundrymat before that day- - "oh, she forgot". A sizeable check got returned to her because she thought an EOB was a bill, which is when her checkbook went into my brothers hands.
Four years ago I alerted our doctor to the now noticeable mental changes, which resulted in a vascular dementia diagnosis, which has progressed significantly. I can no longer assume my Mom knows anything; to her, Aleve is a prescription med, she can look at the clock and tell you it's 2:00 or 2:30, but if it's 2:10, she will say it's 2:2. Mom has ruined 70% of her clothing because she confuses the bleach jug with the laundry detergent, and she does not function well at all outside the walls of her home. And my stories can go on and on of what happens on a daily basis.
Several years ago we had a poster friend on this board who was going thru the same stages of decline as my Mom, and drew a lot of concern. She disappeared and had many of us wondering what happened; I've always thought I knew what happened, which is very likely to happen to my Mom, despite the efforts of my family who are trying so hard to care for our mother.
So I urge everyone to keep your mind and body active; go, and do while you can. If you can't visit in person, call people; talk, laugh, LIVE. Get out of the house, walk. If you still drive, make a daily trip to DQ for an ice cream cone, just to get out of the house and focus on something else besides the four walls! With one breath, one beat of our heart, our lives and the lives of those we love, can be forever changed!
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