Among Friends

[IMW]

Excellent analysis.

[shaggygirl]

Going back about 10 or 12 years ago at a New Year's Eve party at one couple's house, there were 9 couples. The men were all in the tv room and the woman were all gathered in the kitchen yapping and we were discussing another friend who had recently lost her husband. So someone popped the question "if your husband passed away, if you think you'd remarry raise your hand". Only the one asking the question raised hers.

[Anonymous032819]

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@2blonde wrote:

@newname0   I would tend to agree.  As a once-married, now confirmed single woman, I'd say this statistic is merely further proof of women's higher intelligence!  

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Well then, there must be a lot of intelligent men out there, because not every widower remarries.

[Anonymous032819]

Bunk analysis!

[Sweetbay magnolia]

I could see it happening in certain generations, generally.  Of course it's not an absolute, but I agree wholeheartedly with @CAcableGirl2 's assessment on the first page.  I see that, too.

Too long to quote but it's there.

[kittyloo]

i remember before my husband passed, i always thought that i would never remarry. (good marriage).

 after dh passed, i waited a full year, before even thinking about it. 

by year 5, i was actively looking (small town, slim pickings)

and resorted to online dating. 

i did eventually remarry after 8 years. 

[Blueridge Liz]

I live in a very large Del Webb community. You must be 55 to live in a Del Webb community.  My husband likes to stay at home so I go to plays etc on  excursions sponsored by Del Webb. I meet many single women. Some are divorcees, some are widows.  The consensus is I’ve been there, done that so don’t need to do it again. The single men in the community are looking for someone to take care of them....my generation of women are not interested. My Mom and Mother- in- law ever remarried.

it has nothing to do with the state of the marriage. The widows loved their husbands very much. Many were care givers so think it’s time for themselves. 

Personally I would never remarry. A man friend would be nice but not a husband. My sister feels the same way.

it is very rare for women to remarry in our community. It is very common for me to remarry quickly.

Perhaps  the next generation of men will be different. There are several generations living in Sun City so perhaps the change will occur with the younger generation.

[chrystaltree]

I don't recall that statistic but I think widowers tend to remarry and widows don't.  I remember reading that if a man has been happily married, he's likely remarry relatively soon after he looses his wife.    Even if it was very long marriage.  But women tend to hold on to the past and if it was a happy marriage, they feel they already had the best so they aren't interested in re-marriage.   Just from observing the people I know, this seems to be the case.  

[Anonymous032819]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

I don't recall that statistic but I think widowers tend to remarry and widows don't.  I remember reading that if a man has been happily married, he's likely remarry relatively soon after he looses his wife.    Even if it was very long marriage.  But women tend to hold on to the past and if it was a happy marriage, they feel they already had the best so they aren't interested in re-marriage.   Just from observing the people I know, this seems to be the case.  

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Bunk.

My dad was very happily married to my mother for 30 years, and he never even entertained the idea of dating another woman.

He remained single for 18 years until his passing this year.

I hardly think that he's the exception.

[Bri369]

I think for the most part, women find they don't need to marry after their spouse dies.

My parents had a friend who was widowed after his wife passed away after a long illness.  He married within a few months after her passing.  The second wife died, and again he married within a few months. 

It just all depends on the people involved...