Among Friends

[newname0]

I read just now that widowers remarry within one year while widows take up to five years to remarry.  Do you agree?

[brandiwine]

No.  That has not been my experience.  I hate people who claim to be experts, get paid to create stats and for the most part have used a very small, selective group to prove their belief.  

[Still Raining]

My mom and dad shared a room in assisted living and when my mom died, all the ladies there flirted with him.  One even got some wine from somewhere.  Surprised us.

[pigletsmom]

"They" say that men who had good marriages are likely to want to remarry. They tend to miss the relationship and it's really a compliment to the previous marriage. I think woman who had a good marriage tend to go the other way. I'm not sure why, but maybe feeling it's not replaceable. I don't think men see it as replacing but more likely as a separate new path.

I didn't marry but had a very long relationship until he passed. I have no interest in looking for another one. I sort of think no one else would put up with me and honestly I'm not looking to go through an ending like that again either.

[aggravated]

I think interesting but not surprising at all.

[CAcableGirl2]

That is interesting.  I wonder if it breaks it down by age.  I think the "older" generation widower would be more inclined to be married because the man may be more dependent of his wife to handle the household, the planning, food preparation, etc.. since they were raised from another time, where women and men had more set roles.  Men provided for the household and women ran the household and raised the children.  Not in all circumstances, but I can see it in my parents and those from their same generation.

I have found that the "younger" generation is more independent and I can see the huge difference between my parents and my son and his wife and how their roles and expectations are different.   I think that is great, since my son is so much more involved in raising the children then his father was.

I've always thought my generation was in the middle of this change, where the husbands were raised by stay-at-home moms who did all the housework and almost all of raising the children, and then once they married, expected the same of their spouse (since that was normal for them).  Meanwhile, their wives were holding down full time jobs along with trying to manage the household while the husband thought his only responsibility was to provide income for the home, and that was pretty much it.

I know that is what caused a lot of stress in my marriage where I tried to do it all.

Plus, some people don't want to be alone.  I think that explains for some who jump quickly from relationship to relationship (live-in) like my ex, while others are perfectly happy living alone (me).  

[Abrowneyegirl]

This does not surprise me either.

[Anonymous032819]

No, I do not agree with that statistic at all.

My mother died in 2000, and my dad NEVER even went out on one single date with another woman, held hands with another woman, kissed another woman, let alone marry another woman, right up to his own passing earlier this year.

There was only ONE woman for my dad, and my mother was IT. 

They were married for 30 years before they were seperated by death.

Not every single man is hot to trot looking for the next female.

[2blonde]

@newname0   I would tend to agree.  As a once-married, now confirmed single woman, I'd say this statistic is merely further proof of women's higher intelligence!  

[hckynut]

@newname0 

Not the men I know. 2 close friends wives died of different types of cancer. One of them never remarried, and he has since died, about 15 years after his wife. My other friend now lives in Arizona and he did not marry for over 10 years after his wife died.

hckynut