how to not be offended by family..... - Page 3

dogsx3 · ‎02-05-2011

Very upset right now, you are right, i "over try" with them all. I will be strong and stop giving them power over me. I was just caught a little off guard by what happened.

DiAnne · ‎09-22-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:
i am really trying hard, i think i am the only one who got the " sensitive chip" in my family. I really don't want to go to funeral service.

Sometimes the things we have to do as adults are difficult. You will be proud of yourself when it is over.

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

Hi @dogsx3. I gave you some advice on a recent thread you posted about attending the service for this family member.

I will be brief; please please let the past stay in the past. Even if your family won't let go of your 'mistakes', you must. You're still living in the 80s. It's 2017. Forgive yourself.

Until you don't let it go, they will keep messing with you and have leverage over you. They use your own shame against you. You can't change the past. You're spending so much time looking back that you're not looking forward.

~Live with Intention~

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:
Just want my kids to be proud of me, and set a good example for them. They know how my messed up family is, 2 are going. It was my mom, and ....

You should go too. It is your mother. Once the services are over, you won't get a second chance.

Be polite to your family members, but don't allow them to make you feel inferior. Show your children how to be strong when things are tough.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@dogsx3 You sound like a very thoughtful person.The jewelry was given to you so you can do whatever is best for you.If you need the money find out the value and offer it to those well off relatives first.Dont let those family members keep dragging you down.So what if you have lived a less than perfect life in their eyes..no one has the right to judge your choices that were made by you for you.I get the sense that you feel less valued than they are because they have more money.That certainly doesn't make them good people who are more deserving of respect than you are.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

@dogsx3 What I have found at funerals is that it is pretty easy to find someone to talk to.....greet everyone, but then to avoid the family members who you feel are judgemental, just walk over to and converse with old friends, more distant family....you get the idea!.

grandma2pkmh · ‎08-04-2013

@dogsx3 My dear, make your children proud by standing up for your rights. Your Mom gave you that ring for a reason. It does not belong to your brother or anyone else. Please keep it and cherish it, pass it down to your children. My heart aches for how you feel. Love yourself first.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@dogsx3,

Since your mother gave you her wedding ring on one of your past visits, you should definitely keep the ring. Keeping in mind what you have shared about your past, I think your mother chose you to have the ring for a very specific reason. In my family, wedding rings were gifted to those loved ones who would most appreciate such a special thing. Your mother had her reasons to pass this special memento to you, and I think you should keep it, cherish it, knowing she wanted you to have it. I think the gifting of this ring speaks volumes of how much your mother loved you, believed in you, and respected you for turning your life around.

Please keep the ring!

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@dogsx3 My personal opinion is that your kids would be proud of you for keeping the ring. For valuing yourself by doing so. I know all about these family issues, trust me on that one. Worst of all I know the pain of letting their devaluation of me become mine of me. More and more I have stopped doing that in the last three years, it feels incredibly good.

Your brother wants the ring back to keep it in

the family? You are family. Unless I am misunderstanding, that is a very hurtful thing he said to you.

Please don't give in, keep the ring. See it as the symbol of a new beginning for you.

"If you really want to shock the world unleash your kindness"

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

Why is it that family gets more difficult to deal with as we get older. I have a few family members that caused me pain for years. Last year, at age 66, I decided I wasn't going to deal with them anymore.....and what do you know....I'm so much happier. These relatives must know where I'm coming from, because they haven't tried to contact me.....my only regret is that it took me so long...now my life revolves around my grown children and my grandchildren....all is well....