Among Friends

[Still keeper of the koi]

This weekend i attened a family function ,  I was talking to family members when my husband abruptly said we need to leave..when i was saying goodbyes  his sister  walked up to me and said i she better apologize when my parents  hear this im i will be in trouble... so on the way home my husband said his sister said she is embaressed by me, she went to visit her mother i was hanging out my laundrey she saw through  the woods, she saw me in an apron on the way put plant ing something..She told him you make a fourtune why is she doing these things,feeding mom and dad, canning cooking every night.she was shocked  that several  times a year i speak at an interfaith church  about loving  where you are planted. She said i should  know  my place...My husband  was very angry  and told her to mind her buisness. When we got home she called and begged him not to tell me or the family.I now feel strange about my   relashionship with  her.next  week is a graduation for a niece ,i really dont want to go.. should i set this aside or speak to her?    Bad situation  for  me..Thanks, Maryanne 

[PurpleBunny]

Huh?  

So supposedly ... you are wealthy, yet you like to do your own housework including laundry and canning and your SIL is embarrassed that you get your hands dirty?

Oh to have such 'problems.'

If this is 'legit,' your SIL is a nut job and you shouldn't care less about her opinion, nor should you feel uncomfortable at any family function. 

[NicksmomESQ]

 @Still keeper of the koi  Maryanne, I think you need to speak to your sister & straighten her out!! If you don't your relationship will never be the same.

   From your posts on this forum I can tell that you are a lovely person.Could it be that your sister is jealous of you? I would hate for you to miss out on family functions but you must do what makes you comfortable. 

  I've had issues with family members too.Some I was able to resolve & some I couldn't. Good luck!!

[Deb665]

I would speak to her about it rather than letting it fester.  But I would try to approach it from a position of love and concern for family relationships.  Your niece has nothing to do with this situation and your SIL should not be allowed to take any of the graduates joy away.  I think I would attend the graduation with smiles.

Good luck with all this.  

[hoosieroriginal]

I think your SIL needs to take some lessons from you!  I too would go to the event, with a big smile on your face.  I think she may be a little jealous you can manage so many things at once and enjoy doing them for your DH. 

[CareBears]

@Still keeper of the koi I have stopped guessing at what people think of me, my inlaws have never liked me, I guess my first name is "Evil" according to my MIL and anyone named this is evil to their very soul, whatever?  Now my sister is mad at me too, she and her husband were recently in town (they live in Florida) they were going to visit me for a couple of hours last Tuesday, my husband called them the day before and canceled as the Thursday before I had come down with a low grade fever, a terrible cough, and throwing up, the day before my throat started hurting to the point I was having a hard time swallowing (my husband had brought this home so obviously it is contagious), so as to not risk giving them whatever we had come down with we thought it better to just cancel, YES it hurt me to do it, but they had 3 days left in town and I could not live with myself if they had come down sick also.  Now my sister refuses to talk to me and is beyond mad, but IF I had given them this then they would have been mad at me too, so sometimes no matter what you do someone is always going to take it the wrong way, so I live for what makes me happy now!

[sabatini]

Maryanne, your post is a little unclear. You'd said:

"when i was saying goodbyes  his sister  walked up to me and said i she better apologize when my parents  hear this im i will be in trouble."  

Did you mean that your SIL said to you that SHE will be in trouble when her parents hear this?

If that's the case, then I definitely think you need to have a nice, calm talk with her.

COTT is always best! (Cards On The Table) 

It's odd that you say that when you got home she called your husband and begged him not to tell you.

Wasn't the cat already out of the bag when she'd said to you that 'she'd be in trouble'?

[Still keeper of the koi]

He said she thought i appeared like hired help at a beautiful  home. I pride myself on  being a good wife ,traditional , making a nice home for my family . Stung a lot being said it was embaressing... my husband works hard as do I...Maryanne 

[Sooner]

Personally I'd let the whole thing go unless you intend to change your lifestyle for some reason or other.  Otherwise, live you life and don't tangle with others over it unless it becomes necessary.

There are usually a lot of issues on either side of something like this, and possibly, clashes of personality and lifestyle are ensuing and will never be resolved. 

I don't think confronting her about it or clearing the air will do any good.  I doubt either of you are ready to throw in the towel about your opinions and lives, or meet in the middle.  She obviously doesn't approve of your lifestyle, so let it go at that if you can. Nothing good is going to come from debating the issue I'd guess. You are just engaging in the discussion at that point.

[sabatini]

---

@Still keeper of the koi wrote:

He said she thought i appeared like hired help at a beautiful  home. I pride myself on  being a good wife ,traditional , making a nice home for my family . Stung a lot being said it was embaressing... my husband works hard as do I...Maryanne 

---

@PurpleBunnysaid that your SIL sounds like a nut job. LOL!

If your SIL said the bolded statement above, she's an idiot too!