Among Friends

[DSD2]

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@Mersha wrote:

@DSD2   I lived one of those "not to be" things.

I dated a guy two years older than me through my teen years.  I was totally infatuated with.  He was my first love.

He broke up with me for a friend of mine.  I was totally devastated and it took quite awhile to work through it.

Fast forward decades later, he contacts me on Facebook.  He just finished his third marriage and I think he is looking for #4.

He sounded like a jerk and we had nothing in common.  If not for that break up I would not have the life I had of a job I loved, opportunity of living in DC and New York and a multitude of other things.

It was a case of thank God for unanswered prayers.

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@Mersha young love can be so heartbreaking. You sound like a resiliant, wise woman who has lived a life she has loved. Bless you.

[Mersha]

@DSD2   Thank you so much for your kind words.  They are appreciated.

I am not sure how wise I am these days but I try.

Blessings to you!!

[LizzieInSRQ]

@Puzzle Piece how would you feel if your husband did this?

[SportyShorty07]

     @Puzzle Piece   An ex boyfriend blindsided me with a breakup on the phone on Christmas Eve in 2019.  My ex texted me 2 months ago after no contact  for nearly 5 years saying that he's sorry for how he ended things and that I'm an absolute gem and he thinks of me fondly and often. My ex was a handsome, funny and brilliant man who suffered from depression and he ended things because he resented that the fun times,  happiness and kindness I gave him helped a lot, but couldn't fully cure his depression.  I went through a wide array of emotions reading that text: confusion to anger to sadness and I even cried because I was overwhelmed by thoughts of him again.  It felt like he wanted to let go of guilt, but didn't really consider how that would make me feel so many years later.  I didn't respond to his text. 

     I realized through different breakups that sometimes we have to make our own closure and memories can live in our hearts without needing to revisit a relationship.   Its like driving a car- you can't fully focus on whats in front of you if you're looking in the rearview mirror for too long.  Would this help you or hurt you to reach out to your highschool boyfriend? Can you talk to your husband about these feelings? Can you write a letter getting all of your feelings out and never send it?  I hope that whatever decision you do make brings you clarity.

[OKPrincess]

If you're both married, leave things alone.  The past is the past. 

@Puzzle Piece 

[Imaoldhippie]

Never put anything like that it writing.  You may regret it later on.  Let sleeping dogs lie.

[AngelPuppy1]

If you are still married, then my opinion is that you should not contact the former boyfriend.  That would be very disrespectful to your husband.  Just think how you would feel if the tables were turned?  Would you like it if your husband contacted his former flame?  It's o.k. to have memories --- we all do --- but that is exactly what they are --- memories --- things from the past.  If you were divorced, that would be another thing.  

[KingstonMom]

Ask yourself what you would gain by having contact with the ex.

There's your answer.

BTW, your husband couldn't have "had you run him off", if YOU didn't want to run him off, for one reason or another.

You're just making excuses to yourself, to contact him.

I feel sad for your husband.

[sarahpanda]

My 'first love, the one I thought I couldn't live without', dumped me for a cheerleader when I was 18 .  I was heartbroken - but I see him around this small town from timei to time, weighs about 350, missing teeth, can't hardly walk...whew, dodged a bullet there!

[LizzieInSRQ]

@Puzzle Piece this is completely about your ego. Spend time examining that.