Among Friends

[mintedrose]

Im in a dilema and am hoping that some of you can help me sort this out.

We are planning to move out of state. We put most of our stuff in the storage last year in March and downsized to a smaller place where we planned on being at for only 4 months. That 4 months has now turned into a year because DH job didnt come through as expected. He is still looking for another job and the process is taking longer. Its very very frustrating for both of us because it could take 1 month, 3 months, 6 months I dont know.... Both of us are getting so upset and impatient, as we've been living out of our suitcases for a year and are  crammed right now. Not only is Our quality of life is non existant, huge parts of our lives is on hold. Im at my wits and I want us to move forward already. Imagine being in a waiting room unable to go anywhere or do anythiing because at any time you may get called. Its beyond irritating!!! Another reason I need to move is that Ive started a mba program out there which is online and doesnt really require for me to be there however, I am missing out on important career events, networking, community which I had been really looking forward to. So, in a nutshell Im stuck waiting here for DH to find a job. I also think that its going against DH job prospects considering that he's all the way here. If he was local, he may be able to get more interviews.

What would be the best way to move?

Ideally we want to buy a house as soon as the job worked out because we've been renting for the last 6 years which was not fun. ;( Now we really would like to own our own home. 

My options are these: We move out there, get a short term furnished corporate rental or air bnb for a month or two then rent a house or buy a house? Problem is most furnished places dont accept pets  (we have a cat) and are limited on location, inventory and dates.

If we rent a house, the problem is most require at least a year lease whereas we dont know our time frame. Another Problem is that we would have to pay the cost of moving all our furniture cross country. If DH had a job they would cover those costs.

We absolutley do not want to live in a long stay hotel. We're already in one right now and I do not want us get stuck like this again. 

Id love to have some of your input as Im at a loss for finding a solution. 

[Lilysmom]

@mintedrose , I was in limbo while we were building our home.  I had sold my house but the new one wasn't ready for five months.  I had a pet also, a Lab.  I had some furniture in three places...most with a moving company stored, some in self storage and some with us.

Can you look for a place that rents month to month?  With a pet it is difficult.  Can someone take your cat for awhile?  

My best advice is to have the mindset that things will be uncertain for the next six months.  Try to establish a routine in this new scenario and go with the flow.  I wouldn't be moving to a new location without a job or be buying a home until I was more certain of the future.

I am like you.  I need to feel established in a place to move forward.  Take the time without the commitments of owning a home to get out and get involved in things.  

Sending you and your DH the best wishes in your job and educational pursuits.  LM

[violann]

I think you need to be thinking of your present situation as no more than a means to an end, and therefore, stay put in your present situation, ESPECIALLY if it also happens to be the cheapest, and KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE.

The temporary inconvenience and dis comfort is just that- TEMPORARY.

Living within the present, where you are, will make your future emerge as sweeter, and more deliberate and purposed.

Hoping, with fingers crossed, that DH's search proves fruitful sooner than any later!

[Shanus]

 @mintedrose   Obviously, DH is your only income if you're working on MBA, right? If you move, no income...I'm presuming. Looks like a "grin and bear it" situation to me. It can't be the best scenario, I agree. Being in limbo is tough and takes a toll on the relationship. 

I'd say you need to wait, frustrating as it is, until the job comes through. 

[alicedee]

I'm a bit confused, @mintedrose .  What do you mean when you say you want to move "out there" ?  Is that where your husband is applying for jobs, or where you want to be networking?

I had a time in my marriage where we lived in different cities....he took a new job and stayed with a relative, I stayed with the kids in our house until it sold.  When we all moved we rented for 6 months to figure out where we wanted to buy.....I had to leave my kitty with my sister for that period, as the rental said no pets.

A lot of couples have to deal with these sorts of things....it's tough, but you do what you have to, and what is best for your family.

[qualitygal]

Find a furnished apt. to rent for up to that year.  You go out and get a job and bring some cash in.  In one year, you can move on if he finds a job, get the stuff out of storage, and maybe even move into a house you've bought.  You've made it this far, hold off for one more year and see what's what at the end of that year.  The year will pass no matter what you are doing.  Build slowly to make good decisions and see how things go.  One step at a time. Good luck.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

If you haven't already, I'd check out the supply of houses on the market in the area you'd like to move to.  See how fast they're moving, that kind of thing.  Finding (and buying) can be a challenge.  It's just one part of the equation to factor in.

It's like dominoes and algebra 2 all rolled into one.  Good luck!

[chrystaltree]

You don't want to compound your mistakes and make your situation worse.  I think you have to take things slow and one step at a time.  Don't make assumptions about jobs and how long things will take, breathe and live in the movement.  When You are applying for jobs, especially out of state jobs, no one knows how long it will take to get a interview, much less a job offer.  If you what state you want to move to and if it's possible, your husband's job hunt will be easier if you move there now.  That way he will be local, many jobs prefer local candidates. It's easier to set up interviews and many employers prefer giving jobs to live locally because that supports the local economy, builds communities etc.  My advice is...move and let your husband continue his job search.  As for buying a home, don't be in such a rush.  Getting a job does not mean it will be the right job for him or that the job will work for him.  Let him get the job and give it a year before you consider buying.  During that year, you can get to explore the area.  Visit different towns and neighborhoods, get the feel of where you want to live.  Spend your weekends exploring.  After a year, when you know what town or area you want to live in, they look for a place to buy.  Also, that works for the lease issue.  You can find a comfortable apartment with room to live and sign a one year lease.  You won't be under pressure to get out.  

[Laura14]

I would lease the house and buy cheap furniture that can be sold or donated once you get to your permanent place.  All you probably need is a real bed and a sofa and maybe a tv or two.  

All leases have termination fees so don't let that stop you.  I always ask upfront if 'life happens' and I need to go what's the penalty?  Probably wouldn't tell the landlord your exact situation because they usually look for stable long term tenants and you don't want to limit your options.  The way you've been going you just may renew that lease.  Hope not but don't limit yourself.  

Good Luck!

[Financialgrl]

My sister/BIL are going thru this now.  They sold their large family home and found one they loved.  Their area has a very hot RE market and they lost that one to multiple offers.  They thought they'd like to rent a house for 3 years till they can retire and then move to SC but there are little to no rentals of any kind where they live.

Having to make quick decisions now means they'll hate whatever they do till they leave in 3 years.