Suggestions Please! - Page 2

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@BunSnoop Bless your heart! I can tell this is really distressing for you. She obviously declared you to be her office "buddy", and views the "friendship" that was unintentionally allowed to foster, as much more endearing to her than you do. Because of this, she is most likely unaware of your true feelings, but it is a disservice to the two of you if you do not politely, and honestly reveal them to her.

You seem like such a kind person, and therefore do not want to hurt her. She is at an age where she would probably respect, and appreciate your honesty. No one wants to intentionally be a burden, and each of you will ultimately benefit by redefining the relationship.

I hope it works out well for you😊

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

red&curly · ‎12-30-2019

I am fairly new to this forum and not on any other social sites.That being said I could be this lady hoping you will be my friend.
I understand you not wanting to continue lunches but like several posts said maybe just a few words during the day .I know you don't have to- none of us do but what if it meant sooo much to her?
I have so enjoyed responding to a few topics! I know you are not my friends but just interacting means something to me.So thanks.

spiderw · ‎06-14-2010

After reading this post I feel this woman needs professional help and I say this in a caring way. I have had friends who just needed someone to listen to them, people who had issues but didn't know what to do or how to cope. While I feel I can offer good advice I also know my limits.

It is difficult to turn someone away but it doesn't sound like a healthy friendship and you obviously are having a problem with how to end it without hurting her. However, until she seeks out proper help this will continue and not for either ones' benefit. I wish you the best with this situation and hope the outcome will be good for you and your friend.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

She's given you an opportunity to be kind. There are untold topics of conversation that are neither personal nor the weather. Generally, those who ask the questions she does aren't prying into your personal life, just trying to start a friendly conversation.

There may be something she wants to tell a friend but so far you haven't made her comfortable enough to share it.

This BB is full of conversational topics, most are not personal and yet strangers seem able to connect with one another.

My advice is a change of attitude.

roster · ‎10-09-2017

These type of personalities look for people like you they can "play", manipulate & won't reject them. I agree with whoever said, stay away and keep it all business.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

@red&curly wrote:
I am fairly new to this forum and not on any other social sites.That being said I could be this lady hoping you will be my friend.
I understand you not wanting to continue lunches but like several posts said maybe just a few words during the day .I know you don't have to- none of us do but what if it meant sooo much to her?
I have so enjoyed responding to a few topics! I know you are not my friends but just interacting means something to me.So thanks.

Welcome to the forums, @red&curly. I agree with you, it might mean so much to this woman to have a friend, or just a few kind words durning the day.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

I would continue the short good morning conversations but tell her that weekend plans are off.I would say that I need the time to just relax and get caught up on household and family duties....maybe even a long sleep in to catch up for the next week.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

She thinks you are her friend and its obvious she's not much of conversationalist. She has problems connecting to people, problems making friends. You have those lunches with her, she must feel good that she's actually made a friend. By going to lunch with her and by talking when she stops at your desk, you have actually been pretending to like her and that you are her friend. I like honesty but I think in this case honesty would just be cruel. I think you should taper off the lunches. You are in the habit of lunching 4 times a year, this year you can be "busy" and just go to lunch twice. 2021 do lunch once a year. Just go with the daily chats, you are probably the only person she speaks with on the job. Why take that away from her? If you'd been honest about those lunches back when they started and stopped meeting her, you would not be in this predicament now. You didn't like them, you didn't like her. You should nipped it in the bud back then.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

As long as you continue your part in this farce of a friendship, it will continue. I agreed, ask her questions beating her to the punch. Ask her what's new before she can ask you. When she shrugs, divert your attention to having to make a call, check something on the computer, go to the bathroom, get supplies, then sharpen a pencil...anything.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

qbetzforreal · ‎08-28-2010

It appears she is trying to engage you, being friendly. Some people use how's it going or what's new as an ice-breaker. You could response to "What's new?" with "Nothing, what's new with you?" With the query, "Any plans for the weekend?" You could come back with "Same old, same old. How about you?"

If you do not want go to lunch, just say no thank you.