Among Friends

[HouseMouse]

Girls were protesting being told not to show cleavage and have the slits on the sides of the dresses and some other things.

I feel being somewhat modest is important and not all girls that age dress with everything hanging out but many do and this is the truth.

The thing is really what can anyone do in this day and age. Girls will dress how they want and if they are told to dress a certain way at prom, it wont change anything really.

[Isobel Archer]

Considering what I see at the high school bus stop in my neighborhood (see through blouses), very short skirts, very tight tops and pants, exposed cleavage, etc., I think I'd say in terms of dress codes, that train left the station long ago.

[RedTop]

20+ years ago when my daughters were in high school and going to prom, we kept it reasonable, and real- - - no extravagant dresses, no limo’s. 

All the dresses my oldest daughter wore to prom came from the school sponsored prom dress sale, or a consignment/thrift store.   The most expensive dress for her cost me $75, and was a beaded halter with a knee high slit; very tasteful.   

Youngest daughter wore the beaded halter dress as well.  We had 2 dresses made specifically for her, and I bought a new dress for the JROTC Military Ball where she was crowned Queen.   The new dress was priced at $125, but the shop owner gave us a discount, as the dress had been tried on a lot, had a few beads missing, and needed a slight repair to the stitching at the zipper.   My daughter sold that dress for almost what I paid for it.   

I rarely see a prom dress that meets my approval, but I also don’t support the idea of spending hundreds of dollars for an event like prom.   Parents were spending big dollars on prom 20 years ago, and that hasn’t changed.  

My teacher daughter received a text recently from a former student who has a young daughter in pageants.  The little girl was wearing a $300 dress and full makeup at 6 years old.   I cannot imagine the expense when you start out with that level of glitz, and then have to pay up to meet higher expectations for proms, let alone a wedding!   

I’m far too cheap, to buy into the glitz for what is still a high school dance.

[ECBG]

This is sad in several levels.  One cause that hasn't yet been approached is not all parents have a high standard of values.  What your child loves because she hasn't reached full mental maturity, has been allowed because another student's parent was disfunctional in some way or had a low value system.

It's part of the world and does effect and impact your family's life.

[FuzzyFace]

Or there's the opposite problem: my son went to a lot of trouble and expense to rent a tuxedo and hire a limo. His date showed up in a raggedy skirt and flimsy blouse and her footwear was

FLIP FLOPS !!! 

I didn't want to make a scene (all the kids and their parents had assembled at the departure point) but I felt like asking her mother, you actually let your daughter dress like that for the senior prom? I felt his date really disrespected my son by obviously going to NO effort for the affair.

And he even kept dating her till he finally had enough of her and other girls stringing him along and pushing him around. He eventualy met a wonder girl who is now his wife. 

But I still get a little po'd when I think of Disappearing Dana, who also strung him along for a couple of years.

[Noel7]

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@Laura14wrote:

@Kitlynn  You're not old school.  You're right.  

I thank heaven I had a grandmother who sat me down when puberty hit and loved me enough to tell me to act like a lady, watch my drinks, stay with a group and dress appropriately or I was going to find myself in a lot of trouble. 

To teach that to a young girl today is somehow an eggregious affront against feminism which is sad and, in my opinion, dangerous to withhold.

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Where do you get this stuff @Laura14 ?  There is nothing in feminism that encourages young girls to show off their body for salacious reasons.  Just the opposite, in fact.

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[Noel7]

From the article:

"Kauai's prom dress code currently prohibits backless and off-the-shoulder dresses, along with gowns showing “excessive cleavage,” or with slits revealing the upper thighs. Dresses exposing the midriff are also not allowed."

Off the shoulder dresses and tops are all the rage, we are even seeing it on QVC and their hosts.  The rule against that is a bit much imo.

This is nothing new.  Even my prom had girls who protested the dress rules.  For sure it isn't something akin to this generation only.

[Laura14]

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@Noel7wrote:

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@Laura14wrote:

@Kitlynn  You're not old school.  You're right.  

I thank heaven I had a grandmother who sat me down when puberty hit and loved me enough to tell me to act like a lady, watch my drinks, stay with a group and dress appropriately or I was going to find myself in a lot of trouble. 

To teach that to a young girl today is somehow an eggregious affront against feminism which is sad and, in my opinion, dangerous to withhold.

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Where do you get this stuff @Laura14 ?  There is nothing in feminism that encourages young girls to show off their body for salacious reasons.  Just the opposite, in fact.

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@Noel7 Actually read the post you quoted and you'll have your answer as well as the issue that was discussed by me days ago here which had nothing to do with your response.  

[Isobel Archer]

There are many voices of "feminism."  Unfortunately some have sent messages to girls that are not only unhelpful, but dangerous.

The continued insistence by some, for example, that girls should have the "right" to dress any way they want - including as Noel put it - in a salacious manner - but at the same time boys who notice and act on the implied invitation (and seriously just what exactly is a see through blouse and an exposed thong if it's not an implied invitation) by suggesting interest in intimate activity are villified.

Also girls are told that if they drink (even illegally) and end up in bed, it is NOT their fault, but the fault of the boy if they later change their mind that this activity was a good idea - or even if they can't remember what activity even occurred.  In any case, it is always the fault of the boy - even if he was also too drunk to remember what happened,

[FuzzyFace]

Isobel, I disagree with part of what you said.

Sexy clothing on YOUNG girls is inappropriate. However, that doesn't give ANYONE the right to touch them against their will. Sexy or revealing clothes give a message: "Here it is!"  It DOESN'T say, "Come get it!"

It's as much the fault of the parents who don't teach their children--boys and girls--the difference.

I agree that women and men have the right to wear just about anything they want but they need to use common sense. A man or woman has the RIGHT to wear torn jeans and a funky shirt to a job interview but they also have to understand that there will be consequences; i.e., no job offer.