So not sure how to handle

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

My granddaughter is pregnant, and emailed me a baby shower invite. There are issues with her mom and dad and they are not speaking, and she is barely speaking with her sister. Her mom and dad have met the boyfriend but no one else has met him.

Granddaughter is not speaking with her mom and dad because when she asked her parents to help her move out of boyfriends house they did then two days later she moved back in and they were upset with her and she cut off contact.

I am very conflcted about attending, granddaughter is treating her parents like a spoiled brat and right now I don't know if her mom and sister will even go...I hate these types of conflicts.

If you have any advise, send it my way...I do not need snarky remarks as I know how threads can turn on a dime.

DSD2 · ‎01-09-2016

If you love your granddaughter (and I'm sure you do), please consider attending.

She and your daughter will likely sort things out; things can change so quickly and perhaps they will have made up by the time the shower comes.

If that doesn't occur, your granddaughter seems like she could use your love and support. It's not a case of siding with or against anyone, your presence will show your granddaughter and her child that they are loved. It would be very sad if none of you ended up attending; those hurt feelings would be very hard to heal.

Wishing you support....

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I would talk to your daughter,or son which ever , and see what they think.I assume her friends are giving the baby shower?

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

brandiwine · ‎03-11-2010

What do you want to do? If you don't like the way your granddaughter is treating her immediate family, don't go. If you support her, go. Doesn't seem that complicated. Follow your own heart.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

Lots and lots and lots of dysfunction going on here and on many levels. If you're so inclined, invite her over for dinner (or out for dinner, whatever you prefer), feed her, and give her a check for however much you deem appropriate with a card suggesting she spend it however she likes. Tell her you're unable to make the shower and then let it go.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

What a position for you to be in; I don't envy you.

I don't know what you should do in this case, but I'll tell you a little story (if you don't mind).

I helped move my daughter out of her boyfriends house. It was expensive, time consuming, and emotionally draining on all involved. Within weeks, she was back with him.

I was annoyed with her and let her know. I never liked the boyfriend anyway. I think your granddaughter parents have a right to be upset. What I don't think is that your granddaughter should have cut her parents off because of how they feel. No doubt, she is going to need them since she is expecting a baby. She's cutting off her nose to spite her face.

I hope that everything works out and that the family is back together before the shower takes place.

I agree with others who say you should follow your gut and do what you want, although I'd probably talk to my daughter/son before I went to the shower.

I'm sorry; this probably wasn't helpful. If you're close to your granddaughter, perhaps you could talk to her about reconciling with her mom, dad and sister.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

The conflict with other family members has nothing to do with you so don't put yourself in the middle & attend the shower. Being pregnant is difficult, emotions are all over the place so you could be the level headed loved one she needs. Wishing your granddaughter All The Best.

annie315 · ‎03-17-2010

She's your granddaughter. Go to the shower.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Citrine1.

Your story is very, very similar...the issue is not the baby, it is the manipulation of the granddaughter...it is a pattern with her.

Her mom had to take a day off work to help her move - loss of income and like you said emotionally draining...especially since she moved right back in with him!

We are not close, and only see her at Christmas. BUT I do want to support her but am very conflicted.

I will have to call her mom and she if she was even invited!!!