So not sure how to handle - Page 2

candys mine · ‎08-20-2012

You do have a quandary. Is She the one who sent out the Invitations or is someone else planning this shower for her? Maybe they weren't privy to the families goings on. Maybe she Is inviting you with an open heart and Maybe, as someone brought up, she is " cutting off her nose to spite her face" by distancing herself from her family's support, and thinking YOU will take the place of her mother and family in her eyes on her journey to having her baby and dealing with her boyfriend. Probably I am all wrong about that But i HAVE seen it happen.

Go if you like. Give her Love. Don't play into the strife.

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

I would stay out of this conflict. Go to the shower. She is your granddaughter even though you might not like how she is handling this situation. Who knows how long she will be with this guy. She needs someone in the family to support her.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@candys mine The email came from granddaughter...and she did not even say, Hi Grandma, hope you can attend...just the invite, that is it.

Like I said we are not close but regardless, I was disappointed she could not even address me.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Janey2 wrote:
I would stay out of this conflict. Go to the shower. She is your granddaughter even though you might not like how she is handling this situation. Who knows how long she will be with this guy. She needs someone in the family to support her.

@Janey2 I agree. Unless there is a reason not to, be kind to the girl. With the others in the family, stay out of the fray. You can't fix it, so it's theirs to deal with. You may need to be there for the granddaughter--if you feel so inclined. If not, stay out of the mess altogether. You have your own life to think about at this point.

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

@Mom2Dogs For an unknown reason, your GD felt she needed to move out. No one knows if her BF was cheating, verbally or emotionally or physically abusive or not, but she felt she had to leave even if it was for a brief time.

Pregnancy can also do a number on hormones.

The shower is for gifts for the Baby. The innocent baby shouldn't be penalized due to conflicts.

I'd go to the shower.

If your GD & her BF have problems in the future, she's going to need support from her family. Maybe he's isolating her? I'd stay close to her without interfering, & I'd be there to listen.

threecees · ‎09-22-2017

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
@candys mine The email came from granddaughter...and she did not even say, Hi Grandma, hope you can attend...just the invite, that is it.

Like I said we are not close but regardless, I was disappointed she could not even address me.

That's very sad. My opinion, since reading this part then sounds like she is just

looking for a big gift,,cash from you. Not sure.

My mother raised my nephew until mid teens, then he went his own way.

Maybe 15 years passed and no contact from him with any of us from him,

until a wedding announcement came. We went to the wedding and gave him

and his wife a gift and then the no contact resumed on his part. He lives about

15 minutes away.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

Dear @Mom2Dogs , i think you've got a genuine mess right in the middle your family and I feel for you. I think you should send a gift and stay home unless the group gets their act together.

In the meantime, I'd sit down with your daughter and SIL and, in the interest of having a peaceful home for the baby, urge them and GD and BF to get some family counseling.

That would be the best gift you could give them.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

Haven't read the replies. Grandparents can be a much needed bridge, connection and provide a safe space. Never underestimate that and how you can influence her for the better. That will be less likely to happen if you aren't around. If you're the best avenue to family that she has right now, then I'd be putting the shower on the calendar.

speedy girl · ‎06-03-2018

I would definitely go, it's your Grand daughter and things like this don't come around that often. As long as you're not involved in the drama, I would go and celebrate this happy occasion with her.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Desert Lily Boy friend did not want the baby...so while he was out of town she asked mom and dad to move her out, they did, next day she went back over to the house spent the night and is still there...that is when she quit talking to her parents and sister.