Among Friends

[Tinkrbl44]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

How old are you?  I think that is a lesson most of us learn when we get our very first jobs.  Don't loan money to co-workers.  So, go ask for your money or just let it go.  If she didn't pay it back the next day, she either forgot or doesn't intend to pay it back. This has nothing to do with being boss,  My answer would be the same whether she was the chief financial officer or the janitor.   

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@chrystaltree

I was wondering the exact same thing ... is this the OP's first job?    This is pretty basic stuff .... learning how to conduct yourself in the workplace.

[MsLomo]

I don't think it has anything to do with age, or whether it's a first job, or not knowing how to conduct oneself in the workplace, etc. I don't consider myself inexperienced, naive, or "young," but I have been caught off-guard a time or two by someone asking for something or saying something beyond the boundaries of "acceptable" behavior. It can still surprise someone, especially in a job situation.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@NYC Susan wrote:

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@Shop Till you Drop wrote:

I feel for you, and I am in way deeper than 5.00 with my boss.  She has told me it is part of my job to get her lunch each day she is in the office.  So at some point between 11:30 and 1:10 (cafe closes at 1:15) she drops money on my desk.  I am basically held hostage during those hours  to be ready to get her lunch.  This is the kicker she never gives me enough money, so I have to take my wallet to make up the change part.  Her lunch is 10.89 each day, she wants the same thing, but only gives me 10.00.  So believe me that adds up.  Then on the fun days she calls me to say she cant make it back to her desk to go get her lunch, I then pay out of my pocket and she might or might not remember to pay me back.  This is my own fault for allowing it to happen, but it is a terribly horrible situation.  This has been going on for 4 years, she owes me alot of money and she makes way, way over a 6 figure salary. 

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I don't think this is really about how much money she earns vs. how much money you earn.  No one should be laying out money on a regular basis over a long period of time without the other person being made aware that it can add up!

If I were you (and only you know her personality and the dynamics of your relationship, so this may or may not be a good suggestion), I would start keeping a running total.  And after a little while, I would talk to her about this and present her with it.  Just clear the air about how this has been a problem for you, and you'd like a better plan going forward.  Ask if maybe she can advance you a large sum. Or reimburse you on a regular (maybe monthly?) basis.  Either way, you would provide her with an accounting of what you've spent. 

That's just an idea.  You're right - It is your fault for allowing it to happen, but you don't have to allow it to continue to happen.  I feel for you, I really do.  I pretty much let myself be walked all over by a boss, and I know how frustrating that can be.  This goes beyond money.  You deserve to be treated with more respect, and if you approach this nicely and without emotion, you just might get it.  I hope so!

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@NYC Susan    @Shop Till you Drop

@Shop Till you Drop,   I agree ..... this has to stop.   It's really not okay to let something like this go on for four years and do nothing about it.  You really aren't the hostage victim here.   Is it possible that you have been documenting what you're out of pocket?   

NYC Susan said it well .....  not only does this have to stop, but you need to be reimbursed one way or another for buying your bosses' lunch!   

[Stray]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

It's ok to ask her for it; she probably forgot. No, she should not have asked to borrow money from you, but it's truly not that big of a deal. She is, after all, giving you an opportunity to earn a paycheck. She's doing far more for you. I suggest lightening up.

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I strongly disagree with this, it absolutely is a big deal and a manager should never put their subordinates in that position in the first place. Throughout my life I have been all different positions in the workforce. Working as an employee, a boss and a business owner with employees of my own so I can see this from all perspectives. Her boss isn't giving her an opportunity as she works in a govt position and she most likely never even met her before she was hired so probably wasn't the one who gave her the opportunity at all. Even if she was that gives her no right to think she can borrow money from her especially without repaying that.

For a person who doesn't make a lot of money, $5 is absolutely a lot and the difference of being able to get milk and bread or not. Or eyedrops or not. 

Sorry but it really inappropriate for ANY manager, boss or someone in a position of authority to borrow any type of money from any employee who is lower in the rung. That along with many other types of situations are just not advised and most places I have worked actually have policies in their handbook stating that to managers. 

To the OP, I certainly don't think you should feel funny about asking for that $5 back but if you do I can understand that but like others here have mentioned don't loan her anymore if she asks again.

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@Irshgrl31201- I agree, totally inappropriate for a manager to ask a subordinate for money under any circumstances.  I would ask for my $5 back with no excuses or trepidation because the manager acted unethically by taking advantage of a subordinate.  I would ask via email so there is a paper trail.  It's only $5 but the act is outlandish to me and probably something she does routinely and a person such as that should not be managing people and there is always a person above a manager who would not be pleased by such behavior.   Quite frankly, I would not like working for her....

[Stray]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Your boss should not have asked.

My solution is to borrow $10 from her, wait a few days and pay her back $5 saying you kept the $5 she owes you. Or you could just wait for her to ask you for it back. Either way, she will never ask you for a loan again.

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uhhh this is her boss.... she may never ask you for a loan again, but, she may help to give you a pink slip. NOT A GOOD ANSWER!  

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@SeaMaiden- I don't agree with the response from @occasionalrain but the boss was unethical not the OP and would not want it known by her manager that she solicited funds from a subordinate...one could make the case for hostile workplace very easily....she wouldn't be fired...and should not feel that it's inappropriate to ask for her money back, politely. 

[Stray]

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@Q4u wrote:

Depending on how far you want this to go.... notifying Human Resources of all this (with as much proof as you can provide) may help you....

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@Q4u- I agree the superior behaved in an unethical way not the OP....I would ask for my money back via email noting date and time....the manager should not be one....

[Katcat1]

I hate when people do that.  I always wonder how they could forget but maybe they are so into themselves they don't think about it.  Yuk!  I have had that happen to me and I ask for my money back.  "Did you forget that you owe me $5.00?"  Don't let people keep your money.  You worked for it and it's yours.  The boss should be ashamed of herself.

[Katcat1]

Goldengate:      The boss is doing her a favor by letting her work there?  PLEASE.  We are all human beings and the boss should have had more class than to ask for money and forget to pay back.  Shame on her.

[Tinkrbl44]

@Frosted Cake

Frosted ... I've had you on my mind .... did you get your money back?  

If it was mentioned upthread, I missed it ... sorry.  Where do things stand?

[Marienkaefer2]

I agree with those who say it is not ok for the boss to ask to borrow money.

I find it to be rude of her, actually.

Unfortunately, in my view, it would be awkward to ask for it back.

I would chalk this one up to experience.

Next time she, or anyone else, asks, just say, "Sorry, I don't have any extra on me right now."

Even if it's just a dollar.  Just be firm and say that confidently.

I'm speaking from experience.