Among Friends

[sapphire 2]

house_cat,  sorry for your loss. You did a great job picking out that outfit for your mom.

And, spix, I am sorry for your loss also.

Blessings to both of you.

[qualitygal]

@Q4u, That's exactly what my parent's chose for themselves. We complied with their wishes and no one ever said a word to the contrary about what they chose. People in this position have that right. What you did was an honor to your parents. I'm sure you loved them as much as we loved ours. Best wishes.

[ladyroxanne]

@house_cat

i'm so sorry for your loss  this has been quite a year for you and it brought tears to my eyes.

i think the outfit you chose is perfect, just as i think that everything you have done for your parents has been just perfect.

you've been a great daughter and i'm sure they would be so proud of you. 

[AuntG]

The outfit sounds lovely. 

[GCR18]

Do what feels right to you.  It sounds like a good choice.  My father stopped wearing suits and ties when he retired.  We buried him with his everyday clothes.  Plain pants and a collared shirt.

[catwhisperer]

@house_cat...I'm so sorry for yet another loss. I think you made the appropriate choice with your mother's clothing. Take care.

[LilacTree]

My beloved mom was the first to die at the age of 49 in 1967.  My father was in charge and it was done in old Italian style, very ornate.  She was dressed in a flowered suit and a hat.  Limos to the cemetery, the whole parade.

My sister and I insisted on a closed casket during the wake.  People were angry about that, they were actually insulted.  However, my beloved sister (also now gone) and I knew she would have hated being stared at by individuals who had never made her life easy. 

My father died 30 years and five days later at the age of 83.  He was cremated and the only people at his funeral were our tiny family and one man who sat in the back who, to this day, I don't know who he was.

None of his second family, including his wife of 25 years, came to the funeral.  There's a whole lot more to this story, but I will not go into it.

Last to die (so far) was my beloved sister almost five years ago.  She was also cremated and we share her cremains.  The rest of us will also be cremated.  There will be a memorial and perhaps a family dinner and that will be that.

As far as the OP's concern about the clothing, she is doing the right thing in my opinion.  As someone else posted funerals and burials are for the living, not the dear one who has passed.

[LilacTree]

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@Q4u wrote:

My deepest condolences and understanding as I am an only child as well and lost both my parents within 23 months of each other.  Neither wanted a burial and especially did not want any kind of memorial.  Both wanted to be cremated.  I knew this and it was also in their wills.  My Mother had a group of friends that met for 30 years or more and were horrified that I was not having a burial, not even a Memorial. Believe me, it was hard enough losing them but to have their friends be very disappointed in me (and telling me) for not giving my beloved parents what they considered to be a respectful farewell.

I told them what my parents wanted but it seemed to me to be what they wanted was the issue.  I remember my Mother telling me (at a memorial for someone else) that she did NOT want her friends knashing and crying and gossiping about her when it was her time!

So as hard as it was I am totally at peace that I followed what my Mom and Dad wanted....  my heart is clear.

And so is yours!

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HUGE kudos to you and to hell with what her "group of friends" thought.  That really ticks me off. 

[qualitygal]

@house_cat, thinking of you today and hope you're doing ok. Hope all went well.

[Daisy Sunflower]

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.