Among Friends

[millieshops]

@ImadickensOne of McGraw's oft-repeated lines of advice is about not being a "right fighter."  He's not talking about always giving in - he's talking about learning to compromise, learning to actually hear what the other side has to say.  In some arguments, there is more than one right. 

There are marriages in which no one is ever right and there are those in which only one person is ever right.  I wouldn't want to be part of either couple!

[CalminHeart]

Some of you missed Dr Phil's point.   Do you argue to prove you are right or do you find a more reasonable way to resolve the issue?   Do you prefer to fight and fight and fight?  Or would you like to be able to disagree, explain why, and move on?   it doesn't mean you are unhappy if you don't prove yourself right.  

[Laura14]

Walking away until the other person calms down, finds their mind and sees that I really am right works for me most of the time.  

[YorkieonmyPillow]

How un-original of him.

That's been around for ages.

I can't imagine having to listen to his droning, annoying voice for 40 long years!

[hoosieroriginal]

Right and happy!  That's why I've been single for 24 years! 

[Kachina624]

I think Robin keeps him on a short leash.  He can't even go to work without her being there every day.  What other talk show host has a spouse that tags along for every show?

[halfpint1]

I think my dh wanted to be both. Tried to talk to him about his health--give up smoking and watch his sugar--dtabetis. To hard to try I guess. After 54 years married he said enough and passed away this pass  Feb 14th A day I will have to remember.

[151949]

I frequently have to choose happy over right , esp. when discussing ANYTHING with my DH. I just either agree with him or walk away. He is no longer able to accept any other POV but his own and his is usually skewed.

[chrystaltree]

I think you are taking that statment much too seriously.  He didn't mean that he's a yes man who cowers in the corner to keep peace.  He meant that sometimes, in a marriage, you have to have to let the other person be right,even if you don't feel that way.  And it works both ways.  Some things are not worth a battle just to prove a point.  So, you give a little.  He gives a little.  And you take a whole lot of stress out of the marriage.  

[libbyannE]

We've been happily married 42 years. The question is a silly one because relationships are far more complicated than that. We are honest and happy. Forthright and happy. Respectful of each ither's feelings and our own -- and happy. You don't just sweep something under the rug and not discuss it in the name of being happy. We don't try to be "right," but if something is important to us, we talk it out. A lot of resentment can build up in marriages if someone thinks he or she must simply be quiet to keep the peace. It's not about who's right or wrong but about understanding.