Among Friends

[TaylorBrown]

I do not have grown children, but when the time comes I will tell them the truth.

[Desertdi]

Just had an "odd" thought:    What if "the wife" texted the message...........

[Carmie]

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@Sweet Caroline 1wrote:

Dear calcgirl, I am appauled by his response.  I am a very spiritual person and a strong believer in karma.  The lord says vengance is his and no one can do it better than him.  He will take care of him in his own way.  You've heard "what comes around goes around" and it does.  I've seen it happen so mant times.  I would call or text him and tell him that he hurt you badly with that cruel response.  He owes you an appology.  If you need him to take you for some tests, tell him.  If he isn't there when you need him, cut him out of your will.  Sorry, he has really made me mad.  Gods blessings, SC

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Wow, your comments are disturbing. 

[game-on]

The truth is that I dont even tell DH how I really feel.... I keep the details to myself.  If there is something major I share it.  

@Calcgirl...I think you have trained your child to not hear anything negative... so maybe he doesnt know what to say? We teach people how to treat us.  And texting isnt a very personal way to share.... we have no way to know what is happening in the other person's life....

When DH and I were learning communication skills with each other.... we sat down and told each other what we wanted from each other.... what makes us feel loved.  Then we asked if the other felt that he/she could give that to us.... and was our relationship worth it.  We have been together over 25 years... so you know what the answer was.  

I have found throughout my life that it is more difficult for men than for women.... but some men are really good at it.  

Talking to a person's mom like your son did .... that is so sad.  I am hoping the two of you can have a loving conversation so this doesnt happen again. 

[queendiva]

@Calcgirl: Good that your DS calls and texts you occasionally. Bad for his response. Disrespectful! Not to say that he is disrespectful, but his response was.

I have two grown sons. I think that in the next phone call, which you can initiate, I would not lead with this issue but I would get around to asking him what he meant by it/ why he responded to you that way, and that you found it disrespectful. You should bring it to his attention.

One DS is a newlywed, we mostly text and talk occasionally. If he spoke or texted that way to me, I would have been stunned, as you likely were, but I would absolutely call him on his breach soon after. Other DS is in the military, stationed abroad. We usually talk weekly. He worries about me because of the distance, not because of any health problems.He would never speak that way to me unless I was whining and had it coming. I am honest with them both if they ask, but never bother them about the small stuff. Your concern was not small, and he did ask. You rightfully assumed care and interest on his part.

[Trinity11]

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@Sweet Caroline 1wrote:

Dear calcgirl, I am appauled by his response.  I am a very spiritual person and a strong believer in karma.  The lord says vengance is his and no one can do it better than him.  He will take care of him in his own way.  You've heard "what comes around goes around" and it does.  I've seen it happen so mant times.  I would call or text him and tell him that he hurt you badly with that cruel response.  He owes you an appology.  If you need him to take you for some tests, tell him.  If he isn't there when you need him, cut him out of your will.  Sorry, he has really made me mad.  Gods blessings, SC

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Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte...

[StraytoStay]

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@Desertdiwrote:

Just had an "odd" thought:    What if "the wife" texted the message...........

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I think the OP should ask the son if his wife texted this response & let the conversation flow from there. I don't think it was enough to cut out of a will, but leave him less than before & have it noted that the wife gets nothing.

[cherry]

I would just chalk it up to  the way some people are ,and let it go at that.  I certainly wouldn't want it to turn into a big family feud. What would be the point of that?  It changes nothing, but it makes things a lot worse

[cherry]

What happend to turning the other cheek?????

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@StraytoStaywrote:

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@Desertdiwrote:

Just had an "odd" thought:    What if "the wife" texted the message...........

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I think the OP should ask the son if his wife texted this response & let the conversation flow from there. I don't think it was enough to cut out of a will, but leave him less than before & have it noted that the wife gets nothing.

Oh, Lord, no!

Don't ask that!

He would probably tell his wife, adding to whatever hard feelings are already there!

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