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Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,346
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Write someone out of the will for a casual response? That's crazy. How about a simple "you asked how I was doing so I thought you really cared." That should make you son (or his wife if she wrote it), think twice about how they respond.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,649
Registered: ‎12-12-2017
 
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,649
Registered: ‎12-12-2017

@Calcgirlwrote:

When your grown children ask you how you are doing or feeling, how do you respond?


Hi calcgirl,  It flew all over me when I read that his response was don't feel sorry for yourself when you were reaching out to him about your health.  I have a sister that has never been without health issues.  She has three adult children and never hears from them.  They are not that far away.  Thats why I reacted like I did.  My sister depends on me a lot somtimes and there are times that I need her and she is there for me.  I hope that you have somone that you can call on when you need it.  Whenever you need to reach out, you have a friend in me.  From SCSmiley Happy    

Valued Contributor
Posts: 645
Registered: ‎03-29-2017

my hubby passed away its been one year my son has been there for me all that time  helped me with every thing   shopping doctors   you name it calls me every day  with out him i would be lost  my daughter lives 4 hours from me she calls every day   also i have 2 very wonderfull neioghbors if i ever need anything all i do is call them    i have been blessed     

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,423
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Calcgirlwrote:

Hmm, the truth got me in trouble.   Let me begin my sharing that my son who lives 45 minutes away and is quite affluent seldom calls and texts me two-three times a month. We were always very close until my husband, his dad passed away and he got married to a rather selfis woman.  I have nver ever shared this thought with either of them by the way and have aways treated her warmly.  His texts always ask how I am doing and my response is fine how are you and the family doing? 

Well, the last text came right after I returned from the Orthopedic doctor who said I had fluid on my knee and issues with my shoulder and he was sending me in for an MRI,  So I told my son what the doctor said and said that the golden years should called the rusty years and placed an LOL after the response.  He texted back that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself.  By the way I am in my late 60's. 


@Calcgirl the written word can be so mis interpreted. I find it's  best to have actual [verbal] conversations!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,821
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

@Desertdiwrote:

@Calcgirlwrote:

Hmm, the truth got me in trouble.   Let me begin my sharing that my son who lives 45 minutes away and is quite affluent seldom calls and texts me two-three times a month. We were always very close until my husband, his dad passed away and he got married to a rather selfis woman.  I have nver ever shared this thought with either of them by the way and have aways treated her warmly.  His texts always ask how I am doing and my response is fine how are you and the family doing? 

Well, the last text came right after I returned from the Orthopedic doctor who said I had fluid on my knee and issues with my shoulder and he was sending me in for an MRI,  So I told my son what the doctor said and said that the golden years should called the rusty years and placed an LOL after the response.  He texted back that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself.  By the way I am in my late 60's. 


@Calcgirl   That would be enough for me to cut him out of my will. 

@Calcgirl I’m really sorry that your son did that to you. Since it was a text, maybe your daughter-in-law sent it without him knowing or someone else sent it.(you never know with texts) I would “call” him directly and ask why he would say such a hurtful thing when you were just sharing some bad news you got from the doctor. See what he says and go from there. Does he have a history of being insensitive or cruel to you? I feel for you.  I was in a similar situation and nothing is more painful. If a child cannot give you the love and respect that you deserve or trys to hurt you emotionally or physically, sometimes no relationship at all is better. I’ll pray for you.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,821
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

@qualitygalwrote:

No one understands old age, until they go through it.

 

We realized that when we use to laugh at "I've fallen and I can't get up", has now become a personal reality and we could have that happen to us now.  Not so funny now.

 

Let it pass, in time, he'll understand.

 

I want to add, to be honest with them, it might be a heriditary ailment.


@qualitygal I disagree. Her son’s remark was callous and disrespectful. She should not let it pass. She should tell him how it made her feel and see what he says. She said he doesn’t contact her often since her husband passed and then he says that?  He did not show basic respect for his mother much less love. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,821
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

@Snowpuppywrote:

I'm not certain what the OP's comment about her child being "quite affluent" has to do with how much he cares.

 

I do tell the truth to DS. 


@Snowpuppy  I am assuming that since she said he hardly ever contacts her since her husband’s passing, she is implying that might be due to his affluent lifestyle. An affluent

lifestyle is synonymous with being very busy and socially active.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,457
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

He's a guy and most guy's don't do feelings.  His response was pretty much a male type of response.  Plus you're texting, not always the best way to communicate.  Text messages are short and to the point.  If you want a more meaningful converation, call him.  I also don't get the reference to affluence. 

I don't see how the OP got in trouble.

 

Emily Giffin — 'A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,821
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

@cherrywrote:

What happend to turning the other cheek?????Woman Sad


@cherry What happened to giving your mother basic respect?????? The son rarely contacts his mother. When she shares with him what the doctor said he’s says that?

She has every reason to confront him about his text.