@slmartino wrote:
Thank you everyone. Getting ready to sign off here for the night but now that answers are in, and they are mostly leaning towards how I feel, thought i would give an update and the exact situation.
Dh wants to go on a watersports vacation for a week - week and a half with friends that he hasn't seen in 16+ years to the caribbean. These arent people that he regularly sees, talks to or goes on vacation with as they live in another country and he hasn't had hardly any contact with the exception of being facebook friends in a long time.
Now, the caribbean is my heart. Thats my happy place, the place where I always want to be, the place I've been vacationing for the last 30+ years and where I go any chance I can get.
We always go to the caribbean together, I feel that it is a couples vacation, not a singles place. We've also gone together for many years and both participated in watersports.
But because this is a "guys" trip, the women are not going, however I am having a hard time getting him to understand that it's not right to leave me sit at home, have to work, take care of the house, cook dinner, etc while him and his friends are out partying it up in the islands!
Not to mention that this guys trip is actually occuring over the week of Valentines Day!
If the situation was reversed and I had the opportunity to go somewhere that he enjoys and he couldn't go, I would never go.
Not only would I only want to go with him, but I would feel terrible enjoying myself while I know that he was miserable at home just stewing in jealousy.
I admittedly have taken short weekend trips with friends or family in the past, but it was only done with the fact that he had zero interest in where we were going so I knew that he just didn't care.
So I'm glad to see that a large majority of users are in agreement with what is the right thing to do.
I'm not his mother or owner so I will let him go if that's sitll what he wants to do, but it certainly puts a bad taste in my mouth that he doesn't care that I'd be sitting home. We'll see what happens! Interesting replies, thanks!
@slmartino, I highlighted a few points you made in your follow-up post. I think you’re expressing considerable displeasure and resentment, stating that "he doesn't care that I'll be sitting at home" and even projecting that you'll be "miserable at home just stewing in jealousy." Some of the comments are stressed with exclamation points which seem to convey quite a bit of emotion. I hope you'll re-read what you wrote about your feelings and discuss with your husband, because that can help you come to an understanding and at least try to avoid acrimony hidden under the surface that can simmer, smolder, and intensify over time. I certainly wish you both the best outcome.
Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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