Please help me solve an argument with DH - Page 4

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

Well, it's not like you've never been there. So he wants to meet up with friends, I'm OK with that. It's got to be about trust, and I'm thinking you don't trust him. Would it be different if they went to a ski lodge or something? Because people can "into trouble" anywhere.

I let my husband go on a two-week camping trip with a woman and another guy from school. They drove in separate cars and all slept in separate tents. It was a wonderful working trip opportunity for all of them, and he had also done it once before. I stayed home with the dogs. Even though I would have enjoyed it also, it wasn't possible. Sent him off with my blessing and I would do it again. It was quite the experience, he enjoyed it, and I'm happy he got to go.

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

Knowing the whole story, I think some posters may have had a different response. It's a guys only trip to a place you have been many, many times. I wouldn't have a problem with his going.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

My last vacation was my personal sign that I no longer want to travel, period. My husband went on 3 full week vacations, and 2 weekend trips with others after that, and I enjoyed the fact he got to do things he wanted to do, and I didn’t have to go. I think his vacation travels are pretty much over now due to his health, so I am grateful he had those opportunities.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I would never want to keep my spouse from doing something just because I had to work. I'd say go and have a good time. Why on earth wouldn't I? I'm working.

barbie4njdevils · ‎10-27-2012

You must not be married or very old or a man lol

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@Venezia wrote:
Now that we know the actual situation, I think it puts a different light on things.

If he wants to go on a trip with a group of guys that he hasn't seen in 16+ years, I'd say let him go with good grace. It's only a week or 10 days. They'll likely want to catch up and, if there are no other women there, you'd be the odd one out, if you insisted on going.

Will he bow to your preference perhaps (not to go), but then resent you for it later, if he hears that all the other guys had a great time?

I don't subscribe to the view that couples have to be joined at the hip. I have friends who visit me from England and we make short trips elsewhere while they're here. My DH has no problem at all with it, nor would I, if the situation were reversed.

I presume you and he can go to the Caribbean together another time?

I completely agree with you... Knowing more of the details only firms up my original opinion. I can't help but find it a somewhat selfish point of view that the Caribbean should only be enjoyed as a couple... Choosing a spouse shouldn't imply an utter lack of any independence whatsoever nor should it imply each partner can't occasionally enjoy the company of their friends without their spouse being part of the adventure...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

i would definitely go.....or let my spouse go without me, especially if it was a great opportunity.

we have vacationed separately before.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@slmartino Now that I know the details,,,,,,I would drive him to the airport and send him off with my wishes for a great time. He will miss me and appreciate me even more because I trust and love him enough to want him to enjoy his life for a few days with some guy friends. He will come home full of love and joy that I didn't rant about him going without me. If it was a couples trip and he wants to go without me,,,,we would be having a different discussion.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

I would go and if the tables were turned, I'd tell my spouse it was ok to go without me if I couldn't go.

I can't stand a relationship where one or both don't give the other the freedom to do things and be independent of each other sometimes.

If you really love someone, you want them to experience, have, participate, and enjoy even when you can't. Even when they are going off to live your dream and for some reason you cannot.

Life is too short to not let those you love have experiences without you sometimes. You won't be together forever. One will leave before the other, and independence is really important in a mature and healthy relationship and important for when one will be left alone at some point.

SuziQ2 · ‎04-20-2010

If it is so important to your husband, it would be like a slap in the face for you to go without him. Wait until he can go, then go together and make a wonderful memory

of it!