Please Offer Help-Stalker - Page 3

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

I mentioned your problem to my DH, who is a police officer. He said to call 911 and request a police officer visit your house to talk to you about this stalking problem.

Also, he said a big Rottweiler would be nice to have around.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

Call the police as others have stated. You need all this on record when things start happening so they will do something. Don't wait until it's too late.

You need to be upfront with the police about being texting friends & previous relationship so they know what's going on.

Get a new cell phone number. STOP TEXTING & TALKING HIM. If he calls your phone do not answer it. When he calls from someone else's phone say nothing just hang up.

When he shows up tell him to leave & not come back or you will call the police. If he does not leave call the police but don't tell him you have called them just stay quiet until they get there. From that point on when he shows up say nothing but call the police. Don't interact with him.

Buy a gun plus learn how to use it. Take a Women's Self Defense Class.

Hope the police can help you get rid of this stalker.

Stay Safe & Watch your back.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

You say he will use a friends or relatives phone because you blocked his. If you recognize the number, don't answer or respond to the text. If you don't recognize the number don't answer or respond to that text either.

If he shows up knocking at your door, don't engage him in any conversation and call the police without warning him you are.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

@moejoe wrote:
Best advice so far, get a gun and learn how to use it.

Yes! Get a restraining order AND THE SAME DAY buy a gun and learn how to use it.

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I moved out on my ex without telling him where I was going to over 10 years ago. My new address was not as easy to find online back then. He found out I was getting married and since I still have the same email, he contacted me and tried to convince me to give him another chance in 2012. For some reason, some men cannot move on.

I suggest you move asap but don't change your address with DMV for as long as possible so your new address is not updated online. This is public information and the DMV is where sites find this information.

Change your phone number. Only give it those that need it. I understand you don't feel comfortable going to the police but it may be necessary to form a paper trail of his behavior. Otherwise, stalking is harder to prove.

If you can't move immediately, stay with friends or family somewhere that he doesn't know where to find you for a while. You need to put distance between both of you. Tell your neighbors about him. They can serve as witnesses if they see him in the area or stalking you. Also, tell your job if he begins going there as well if you're working.

Basically, don't keep it to yourself. That's the most dangerous part. You must make it that if he shows up anywhere you are, others including yourself will know and act. But I would stay with someone asap just to get away right now. Then work on everything else.

~Live with Intention~

LoriLori · ‎03-12-2010

@HouseMouse, if you are comfortable getting a firearm, training with it and having it in your possession that's great.

But not everyone is. If you're not comfortable with it, please don't be hard on yourself. Laws vary by state anyway; there are states where you could be putting yourself in legal jeopardy by firing it.

This isn't about what has worked for others, this is only about what works for you. And please, forgive yourself for engaging with him; you didn't know it would lead to this.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

Stalkers are incredibly dangerous people.They don't usually just go away.I think your safety is in jeapordy and you need to talk to the police.

viva923 · ‎03-12-2010

he knows that you are scared of him and won't call the police and he is plaguing you on that.

You have got to call police, get a restraining order asap!!!!, you have got to stand up and turn the page on this stalker.

he will continue till you stand up and do something. Show him, take charge of your life and get it back.

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

If you do not get a Restraining Order and start a paper trail and have it documented with the police, you will have a harder time getting rid of him. The RO gives him a distance he has to keep from you in public as well. If he is on your property, he is trespassing. You should post signs of this as well.

Also, I don't know where you live, but find out about gun laws. Go take the course - it's two 8 hr classes. They will also give you lessons in how to shoot, etc. If you are that afraid, see if you also apply for a carry permit.

Do you have a landline phone? If he is calling, save all the messages, save the messages on your phone. Keep copies of all the texts/emails he sends. Remove him from your Facebook page.

These are steps you need to start taking ASAP. Stalkers get fixated and usually don't move on easily.

Keep us posted and Good Luck!

rochelleS · ‎07-21-2011

@HouseMouse

PLEASE CALL THE POLICE!!!

Many years ago I had a very similar situation. A fellow I'd been seeing got quite possessive after I'd backed away from seeing him. He started stalking and endlessly calling. He would say "don't you know no means yes, yes, yes." He would leaves notes and a rose on my windshield when I was out. Very creepy to find him following me like that. Yes, friends and associates knew but I still was on my own most of the time.

One early winter day the calling started. I ignored those calls, letting then go to voice mail, btw. Then he showed up. Ringing and ringing the bell. He then walked around the house trying every door and doorwall to gain entry. I was furious then very frightened at the tenacity he exhibited trying to get in!

Coincidentally, I had a new plumber there who witnessed all of this. Embarrassed, scared and reluctant to call the police, I did not want the repairman to leave. He convinced me to call, to make a report, a paper trail in the event of further problems there would be a record. I did. An officer arrived shortly. The police could see the footprints around my house and at every entrance. And calls kept coming while the officer was there. I was told to call him back and tell him to come over. Meanwhile three other police cars secured my neighborhood to trap this schm.ck. Just like on television, the police blocked him in when he arrived. Two burly officers had him by the arms, practicality off the ground as he was escorted in. I had to tell him in front of the officers to STAY OFF my property. By doing so, he was on notice and would be charged with trespassing by violating my directive. The police were extremely firm and direct in the house. Outside on the porch, six officers surrounded him talking stern warnings and I could see he was visually shaken. They escorted him out of the area. I never heard or saw him again!!!

Needless to say, I was pretty shook up. I could not stop shaking. I slept in my clothes with lights on for weeks. I am not a mamsy pamsy kind of person but this really rattled me.

Do not give this man your power. Please!!! Take the first step and call the authorities now! Have a friend there for moral support. Stay with a friend if it makes you feel better. Even if it's a night or two. You do not have to live or shiver in fear. Start this first step to empower yourself and get this creep out of your life, starting now.