Among Friends

[HouseMouse]

Hello

I am wondering if anyone else is going thru this?

First of all I DO know that you cant/shouldnt get your

worth and value etc thru compliments from others. I am always complimenting others all the time.

But ever since I was around 57 to 60 years old I do not

get any compliments from anyone. ( i am 60 now)

Years ago I was always complimented on clothes, hair,

looks etc.

It makes me feel Very Insecure and even Inferior now that I dont get them from anyone.

Im divorced so it is not like I can get them from a husband etc.

When I am with other people everyone is complimenting others on how much they like their hair or new top.

Even when I know that I look  decent or nice no one says a word.  I try to pretend Im not bothered at all by this. When my hair looks really good or Im wearing a nice new top still no one says a word.

It makes me feel like I should go under a rock or something. It just makes me feel embarassed  not to have anyone say anything nice when people are saying things to others.

I am not very confident at this time in my life. I wear classic decent clean clothing and dress in things I like and feel comfy in.

I do not look my age I dont feel, and have been told some times that I dont. I dont dress old if you know what I mean. I feel younger than my age.

Does anyone deal with this or know how to handle it?

And Please, I know there are more Important things going on it the world than this. I do not need or want any nasty comments please!

Thank you!

[Group 5 minus 1]

One of the Q's selling tricks is to tell us that we will get lots of compliments!

If that is important to you than you should be around people give those out.

[QVCkitty1]

I love giving compliments, and never hesitate when I think someone looks nice or if they are wearing a lovely scent. I also know otherwise nice people who wouldn't give a compliment to save their life. I guess you just have to have enough self confidence to not need the extra boost.

[NicksmomESQ]

 You are the only one that can truly make you feel good. Dress to please yourself.Fix your hair to please yourself. Walk out the door feeling beautiful & confident!! Be the best you that you possibly can.Nothing else really matters!!

[Nitefall]

Welcome to my world!  I find once you pass a certain age the compliments STOP, it's age and a fact of life, sorry to say.  So I DO feel your pain.

[NycVixen]

I don't think this has anything to do with age. I'm young and there are plenty of times it feels like no one notices or I haven't received a compliment in a long time.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you but I do believe that once in a while it's a good idea to do a refresh of one's lifestyle and look. I would consider a wardrobe change and enhanced skincare to make your skin glow. Exercise and focus on being healthier and it will come through. Feel blessed that nothing has changed in your appearance per se to make you feel insecure.

Try adding some highlights to your hair that look natural. I only have them on the top layer of my hair and it makes a big difference. I've had strangers say something about them just walking down the street. I have a modern asymmetrical chin length cut and I now get way more compliments than before from people. A great cut gets noticed.

Lastly, think about all the blessings you have and let that happiness come through.

[I am still oxox]

Whoa, my confidence comes from ME not the way others react to me

[ItsME]

@HouseMouse .... your bunny pic is adorable!

As for compliments about your appearance, clothes, etc.  I've never seen you, so can't offer suggestions.  But, just dress and make yourself up in ways that make you feel good.  Don't worry about what anyone else says or doesn't say!  

Just a quick and funny story... I have contemporary taste.  I don't expect everyone to like it, and I don't care... I love it!  Years ago, I got new living room furniture, and I emailed pictures to four friends.  None of them shares in my contemporary preference.  One wrote back something to the effect "I love it!  You're very brave!"  Once just wrote that she loved it, and I believe that she did, but she'd never put it in her house.  The other two just wrote back something like "You must be happy to have new furniture."  I loved the responses!  It didn't matter that it wasn't for them.  I have to live with it, and it makes me happy!

It was the sofa, and a matching loveseat.... the loveseat has been tossed (sadly)... it was damaged by termites (which were fortunately no where else in the house!!!).

[GenXmuse]

I totally understand but maybe people feel you don’t need complimenting because you’re confident and self-assured. 

I would have died under a rock if I had to go there because of fewer compliments. 

This bend in the road may be temporary or a lesson to dig deeper inside. You may get complimented on your outlook and beautiful attitude and demeanor. 😊

[Goldengate8361]

@HouseMouse I could have written your post myself. I feel exactly the same way. It’s weird....it’s almost like people think compliments are just for younger women. I’m learning  to compliment myself, but it’s not exactly the same thing.