Re: Need an excuse

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
Consider the responsibility should there be a car accident. This is her family's responsibility. Insurance is your way. I learned this in a job I had once. No passengers were allowed.

@qualitygal Oh being "responsible" for something doesn't mean you have tthe power to do anything about it. It has almost killed me over my lifetime. You have the responsibility but not the authority EVEN if you are POA, only child or whatever. You cannot MAKE people do what is good for them in so many circumstances, but people look to you to DO something--Something you can't do.

BoopOMatic · ‎06-08-2021

@cotton4me If your family member lost everything, how was she released to asst. living? It is very expensive and costs thousands per month.

@geegerbee To answer your question, I would simply reply,

"Sorry, I can't."

Quse · ‎09-05-2014

You don't need an excuse. Just say no when you mean no, and yes when you mean yes.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

If her children are in control of her SS and aren't using it to pay her bills, SS needs to be notified. They are also responsible to arrange transportation or, at least delivery of groceries and medication.

Forcing senior adults out of their homes and into assisted living is just wrong. It's taking the easy way out, like people who dump their pets into shelters when they are no longer wanted.

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

@BoopOMatic wrote:
@cotton4me If your family member lost everything, how was she released to asst. living? It is very expensive and costs thousands per month.

@BoopOMatic

She qualified for Medicaid.

BoopOMatic · ‎06-08-2021

I was under the impression Medicaid doesn't pay for Assisted Living.

I know you have to "spend down" to qualify for it.

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

@BoopOMatic wrote:
I was under the impression Medicaid doesn't pay for Assisted Living.
I know you have to "spend down" to qualify for it.

@BoopOMatic

I don't know a lot about it. I know the facility applied for Medicaid on her behalf. I just found this online.

"Because Medicaid is administered by individual states, the benefits covered under assisted living waivers can vary. It’s important to find out what kinds of Medicaid waivers your state offers and what they cover. The Medicaid.gov website lists Medicaid programs by state."

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
If her children are in control of her SS and aren't using it to pay her bills, SS needs to be notified. They are also responsible to arrange transportation or, at least delivery of groceries and medication.
Forcing senior adults out of their homes and into assisted living is just wrong. It's taking the easy way out, like people who dump their pets into shelters when they are no longer wanted.

@occasionalrain Well you can let them starve at home, burn the house down around themselves, wander away and die in a ditch, etc etc. Then again you can't force them out unless you go to court and have them declared.

So if the SEEM sane, you just worry yourself to death about something YOU have no control over. All the while people who have NO idea what is going on and on about how awful you are because either:

A: You are forcing poor old person out of their home

B: You are neglecting poor old person because you won't make (which you can't legally do) them move to assisted living.

So here YOU are trying to keep tabs on what is really going on (they LIE about what is going on often) and see that bills are paid, and keep people from mooching off of and robbing them blind, keeping them in food when they won't eat, keeping the heating going when they won't let repair people in the house, and on and on.

Sound like fun to you?

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@geegerbee Oh my goodness, this a tough situation for her...but shouldn't be for you. You are going to have to talk with her family and set boundaries or this will NEVER end.

I had something similar happen with an elderly Aunt who received social security, but had her bank account attacked and wiped three times because she kept falling for scams. She didn't drive as well. After a few years of my family taking turns basically taking her everywhere we finally told her son it was time to move her where he lived 5 states away. Since he's been taking care of her finances she's been so much better off.

Ronettes · ‎12-13-2022

@geegerbee

I have the same problem, a neighbor who ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery. Her family lives out of state, and when she came home she called every single morning before 7 a.m.

She had me doing her grocery shopping, picking up meals, and then demanding rides to see her doctors.

My husband has been having surgeries and mobility issues all year, and I have more than enough to do taking care of him.

I told her she should move in with her family, but she claims they don't get along. I finally had to tell her that she has to take care of herself, she is able to drive and get around and I just don't have the time.

The problem is that elderly folks sometimes become very selfish and don't realize it, I didn't want to be mean but she is now doing just fine on her own. She has a car, and as I told her the exercise is good for her.

There is also aid available from the local county Social Services Department - your neighbor should call them and get the details. They have all types of services - home health care, etc.