Frequent Contributor
Posts: 75
Registered: ‎06-24-2011

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

If you want to keep the house, then wouldn't you be jeopardizing that if you left it? Go to an attorney and explain what you want. Your attorney would likely advise you on important details. At your first hearing, would the following be addressed in court? 1) child support paid by your husband (perhaps automatically deducted from his paycheck?); 2) keeping the home for your children and you if possible; 3) health insurance for your children; 4) responsibility for debt (as in charge cards, car payments, mortgage, etc.) Your attorney would know if your state holds both of you responsible for all debt during the marriage; 5) visitation place and times/days; 6) any extra expenses you might incur for your children (medical, educational, paid daycare, etc.); you and your husband's individual monthly expenses and income; mediation (if applicable); etc. I recently renewed my passport and read that one parent cannot get a passport for a child without the other parent's written permission. On a lighter note, am I watching too much Judge Judy and Teen Mom 2 with all of this info? Lol.

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 17
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

Good luck to you @magpie4 and prayers.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,576
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

What is "Americanized"? I believe in order for a marriage to succeed both parties must trust each. Also each party must have their OWN money-no questions asked. As  many have said you need either a counselor or an attorney.

How did it get so late so soon?My goodness how the time has flewn.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,042
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Need Advice/ Huge Rant

[ Edited ]

queendiva wrote:

@magpie4: How to know if someone is a "good lawyer"? First, do not rush the process. The choice of attorney will impact the rest of your life. It did for me- in a good way. I went to my county library and asked the reference desk librarian for any and all background info on family law attorneys in my county. After several hours of research I made a list of 3-4 names and interviewed them.  All lawyers are not created equal!  You are paying this person. Remember that YOU are the boss and in charge of your life and your decisions. I chose the person with whom I had the best rapport as they were all very capable. My ex went through several attorneys through the years- all more $$$$ than mine and considerably less effective. Be smart, be patient and be organized. Your lawyer can only be as effective in the process as you are. Also, take a step back and breathe. Take care of your children's mother. 

I contacted my local womens organizations for references - and then I met with each lawyer and intervewed them! I had free consultations with each  -  via the womens organizations. 


If you're with the Dept of Ed in your area, you probably have an employee assistance program. They're confidential- and they would could refer you to lawyers. My EAP referral discounts the lawyers hourly rates as well. 

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