My daughter is hearbroken - Page 25

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
This thread is going the way of the threads about you and your ex-husband and your continuation of that relationship when he had a girlfriend but was still calling you, etc. That relationship went on far longer than it should have and this situation with your daughter is also heading down that road.

She's young, this wasn't that long of a relationship and she should be able to move on from this. I don't have kids myself but I have several friends who have kids in their early 20's so are dating, breaking up, moving on, having fun. Are they hurt when something happens? Yes. Are they devastated to the point of nearly non-functioning? No.

With one of my friends, she is actually more the problem than her daughter. Every single guy her daughter is dating is "the one" and she tells everyone this is the guy her daughter should marry, a week or less into the relationship. Then when things don't work out, she's more upset than her daughter.

Which is why I said "Like mother, like daughter".

The daughter learned how to handle relationships, and break-ups from watching how her mother handled her break-up from her husband.

Daughter saw Mom clinging to that relationship, so daughter is copying what she saw Mom do, because that is what Mom has taught the daughter about how to deal with relationships.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@stevieb wrote:
Oh for heaven's sake is this still going on... Still moping, not eating, wondering if she should reach out again (big eye-roll here), seeing a counselor... All this at the age of 23 over the break up of barely a year long relationship when one should be out experiencing and enjoying life at that age in the first place... The girl needs to let go. Walk away Renee, this one's in the history books...

@stevieb

Giggle....ITA! I'm surprised this thread still has 'legs'.

A little tidbit I learned many yrs ago, like the saying goes,

"Best way to get over someone is to get und..."well, you know the saying!!

😉😉😉

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

@qvc chick - I have two daughters and have certainly seen the breakups! My one daughter was dating a guy in college. While he was a nice guy, I quickly saw he had no goals and seemed to be a professional student. I pointed a few things out to her, but she had to learn the lesson herself. She graduated with Honors and received her Sp. Ed Degree.

Then she went to law school - guess who showed up? Yup he did - Again I had a chat with her about his goals and her goals (she is a go-getter). And, being in law school there was really no time for socializing. She came to realize this and told him they wanted different things - she was only 23.

That was when I told both my girls before they find someone they think is the "love of their life", they must be well educated (both of mine have advanced degrees), and be able to support themselves.

I'm glad they took my advice. They are well educated women that can support themselves without depending on anyone else. That is what a woman of today needs to do before settling down at a young age.

As mature as you think your daughter is, I would disagree with you. Just because she has traveled, etc. doesn't make her mature enough to handle a serious relationship.

It's time she get out and see her friends and LIVE.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

I feel bad for qvcchick now with all the piling on. I think it's good that she's so close to her daughter. Further, two weeks isn't long for her daughter to still be really upset after this. She'll get over it in time.

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

@riley1 wrote:
@qvc chick - I have two daughters and have certainly seen the breakups! My one daughter was dating a guy in college. While he was a nice guy, I quickly saw he had no goals and seemed to be a professional student. I pointed a few things out to her, but she had to learn the lesson herself. She graduated with Honors and received her Sp. Ed Degree.

Then she went to law school - guess who showed up? Yup he did - Again I had a chat with her about his goals and her goals (she is a go-getter). And, being in law school there was really no time for socializing. She came to realize this and told him they wanted different things - she was only 23.

That was when I told both my girls before they find someone they think is the "love of their life", they must be well educated (both of mine have advanced degrees), and be able to support themselves.

I'm glad they took my advice. They are well educated women that can support themselves without depending on anyone else. That is what a woman of today needs to do before settling down at a young age.

As mature as you think your daughter is, I would disagree with you. Just because she has traveled, etc. doesn't make her mature enough to handle a serious relationship.

It's time she get out and see her friends and LIVE.

@riley1

I really like what you said (the part I bolded.)

I don't think anyone should get married before 30 (haha, I know that's not realistic, but it's my view.)

People don't even know who they are before that age.

My view: You need to get out and experience the world, and especially be able to be on your own before you commit to someone else. I think that's especially important in this day and age.

Regarding this boyfriend, I don't think he should be demonized. He's young, he also needs to get out and experience the world.

Is he immature? YES! That's the whole point! He's only what, 24 or 25?

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

@Marienkaefer2 - Thanks! Back in the Dark Ages, I was almost 30 before I got married. One of my daughters was close to 30, the other was over 30.

I agree about the boy - he is immature as well. He did what he had to do for himself at this point in his life. I think he made a smart choice.

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

@Ms X

I totally agree. There are times in these forums when people get mean spirited and counter-productive. The OP was sharing a very personal issue about her daughter. Why not have a kinder attitude? Good heavens.

Overall, I think most of us agree that her daughter is young, and it is painful to see our children heartbroken. She will get over it, but it will take time.

I also think many of the responses were wise. But getting overly negative and personal regarding the OP's own life is not helpful.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@sidsmom wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
Oh for heaven's sake is this still going on... Still moping, not eating, wondering if she should reach out again (big eye-roll here), seeing a counselor... All this at the age of 23 over the break up of barely a year long relationship when one should be out experiencing and enjoying life at that age in the first place... The girl needs to let go. Walk away Renee, this one's in the history books...
@stevieb
Giggle....ITA! I'm surprised this thread still has 'legs'.
A little tidbit I learned many yrs ago, like the saying goes,
"Best way to get over someone is to get und..."well, you know the saying!!
😉😉😉

@sidsmom

I hear that !!

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

katiemichelle · ‎06-10-2015

qvc chick, I hesitate to say that you are making a mountain ouf of a molehill, however, most of us, if not all have been through a break up such as your daughter is experienceing. We usually learn fom it, find strength in ourselves and move on! In familiarizing myself with some of your past posts, I am not sure if you can relay these facts to your daughter. There was your own break up with your ex husband and seriously, it seems you need help or advice for almost everything you do in your life even for something as simple as finding phone numbers. If you are not able to move past this on your own, perhaps some counseling sessions for your daughter would be in order.