Loud Music at Wedding

Bubby Mommy · ‎03-10-2010

I attended a wedding recently. It was an absolutely beautiful affair - top shelf all the way. EXCEPT the DJ played "music" SO LOUD it almost burst my eardrums. It seems he configured the base to be prominent so in the songs that he played the singer was almost background to the BOOM BOOM BOOM of the base. My husband and I kept going outside to try to escape the noise. We wound up leaving early because it was so unbearable. The hosts said they realized the "music" was loud and not for everyone, but "that's what the kids want." I understand that, but can't a happy medium be met so that the "music" is loud enough for the kids but still maintain a reasonable volume for people to be able to talk without having to SCREAM in the other person's ear? What could have been a perfectly lovely affair was ruined by the stupid DJ. Am I being unreasonable?

grandma2pkmh · ‎08-04-2013

@Bubby Mommy I went to a wedding a few years ago with the same music and spent a lot of time outside. Yes, it was exactly what the couple wanted. A good time was had by most.

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

Not unreasonable at all. Weddings are times when people see those they haven't seen in a long time and would like to have a conversation without screaming over the music.

I also hate loud music in restaurants. You can't even have a conversation.

gizmogal · ‎05-09-2014

I've had the same experience at receptions and celebrations once or twice. I feel like a real fuddy duddy being so uncomfortable with the loud volume, and yes, the settings for the bass through the giant speakers is distracting.

I think the speakers are suitable for huge venues, even outdoor meadows for public concerts, so the power turned up indoors wholly over-amplifies and gets painful. The other consideration is that these live bands have a repertoire limited to dance music that is much more suited to disco energies and expressive rhythmic body motion, so guests at a party do not get relief from the incessant "beat". While I don't expect the waltz and the minuet, the slower standards and ballads that would encourage all couples to dance face to face and held in each other's arms are not offered by younger performers. Disco may be dead, but not at wedding receptions!

I wouldn't expect my hosts, or the bridal couple, to adjust the music mix, but moderating the volume for the comfort of their guests is reasonable. They hired the band for everyone to enjoy, not just "the kids". The band should be advised that the speaker volume is intrusive.

Mombo1 · ‎11-02-2015

@Bubby Mommy You are not unreasonable at all. I have a hard time with loud music anywhere...As a kid, I had a ruptured eardrum from a high fever.....To this day, I am very sensitive to any loud noise.

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

Guests of all ages were invited and attended. Therefore, I think reasonable effort should have been made to make all the guests feel comfortable and welcome.

I think the host's response was a mistake. He should have asked the DJ to turn down the volume so that guests could at least converse with each other. I think a happy medium could have been met.

Then, if the reception continued late into the evening, perhaps the "kids" could turn up the volume more to their liking.

JMO.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

Fortunately, I haven't attended a wedding in about a decade but friends who have recently gone to weddings complain about the loudness and the way "young people" dance--basically jumping up and down. I remember that from the last wedding I went to. It's their wedding and if I were ever invited to another, I would be sending a check and "regrets"--LOL!!!

pdlinda · ‎10-23-2011

@gizmogal Yes, it has happened to me SEVERAL TIMES, the last time being a few months ago at my granddaughter's wedding!

The music was SO LOUD I felt compelled to leave the ballroom and sit outside in one of the adjoining rooms!

My daughter came to inquire about my whereabouts and when she found me I explained why I left the room.

I did receive her understanding but she encouraged me to stay put until the meal was served because the music was (as was stated in other posts) EXACTLY what the young guests wanted and wouldn't be changed.

At least I know what to expect now as I have 6 MORE WEDDINGS to attend in the future for my grandchildren

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

I understand it's their wedding and mainly the bride's day.

BUT, when you invite guests, the couple needs to understand those guests are giving up their time and hard earned money to celebrate with them and, last I heard, that's not cheap on the guest end either.

I don't think it's unreasonable to have some common courtesy that alternates between a dance party and a slower, more adult tempo and song selection so that everyone gets a chance and a little of what they expect to enjoy the day.

Do DJs not know how to do that anymore? There was always the slow dance portion to catch your breath for the younger crowd and hit the bar while providing a couples dance opportunity for the older couples who are not going to do the Electric Slide.

I don't understand where we lost the common sense in the little things that cost nothing and are easy to do in favor of the all about me selfishness. It's their 'want,' (have it) but how about meeting more of your guests' needs by alternating between the two?

I'm sorry you missed more of the party, but bravo for taking care of you and enjoying the rest of your day at a lower decibel level.