Among Friends

[Calcgirl]

Well, I wouldn't be insulted if someone told me I looked thinner or asked if I lost weight!  I would do a happy dance!

[January121]

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@santorini wrote:

I don't see anything wrong with commenting about her weight loss. I'm sure she's proud of it too.  

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@santorini  I completely agree with you 😃

[Shanus]

I can't believe what I considered to be a complimentary thread would cause such controversy and discussion. The entire point of my post got lost in the muck. 

[CalminHeart]

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@Shanus wrote:

I can't believe what I considered to be a complimentary thread would cause such controversy and discussion. The entire point of my post got lost in the muck. 

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From your post, I can tell you meant it as a positive.  When I look at it objectively, I can see that.

I'd like to offer another point of view.  Fat bashing is so  common these days.  Weight affects one's mental health too. I used to be 120 pounds overweight and couldn't go anywhere without being on the receiving end of all kinds of cruel comments. I still have to force myself to not see that heavier body when I look in the mirror.  My mind goes right back to how I felt about myself when someone talks about people being overweight. I know it's why I'm so sensitive. I think it happens to millions of people, previously overweight or overweight now. Anyway, it's just another perspective.

[Lipstickdiva]

Jill had lost weight before she ever left QVC.  She has talked about it back then and on social media.  

[Shanus]

@CalminHeart   Thanks for sharing your story. I get it because at the opposite end, no matter how much I ate, I was always very thin. People would think I had an eating disorder until they saw me put down a huge meal all the time. 

It's really a point lost now with all these pages discussing the words in my OP referring to weight instead of the positive feelings I attempted to convey. 

[J Town Girl]

Jill Bauer was a very pretty lady when she was thinner and still a pretty lady after she gained, in my opinion, just a few extra pounds.   She was never heavy and I think she looked great even if she never lost those few pounds.  

I would never comment on someone losing weight unless they mentioned it first.  To me, telling someone that they look like they lost weight is the equivalent of saying that you thought they were heavy in the first place.

I once worked with a doctor who thought that a woman only looked good if she was reed thin.   A client who we hadn't seen for a while came in and he began his speech on how wonderful she looked since she had lost a pretty significant amount of weight. After he finally stopped she said I wish it had been under better circumstances but I've been diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer.  

He stood there feeling like a jerk and not knowing what to say other than I'm sorry to hear that.  At least it stopped him from making anymore comments about someone's weight loss.

[Shanus]

Losing pounds from extreme illness is a completely different story. If he was her doc, maybe he should know after an huge, unplanned weight loss, there could be a medical crisis. That's neither here or there referring to Jill. 

I gained 64 lbs. when pregnant. Yes, you heard that right! That much extra weight on a 5' tall barely 100 lb. me. Without ultrasound 48 years ago and twins in the family, my OB wanted healthy, possibly 2 babies. DD weighed 8 lbs. at birth...22" long (huge baby for me). I lost 20 lbs. in the hospital (stayed a week after a C Section). Coming home, had 44 lbs. pounds to lose and had never been on a diet in my life before. 

Long story short, it took a year of hard work to lose that weight and I was ecstatic when anyone noticed or complimented me. It depends on each individual. I'm sure if someone's battling with their weight, makes great strides, they're more than thrilled for people to notice. It's not an insult...it's a pat on the back for hard work accomplished. 

I really doubt if anyway would say,"Wow, you were really fat, but look so much better now that you lost the weight". 

Let's all be happy for Jill's success and please drop this weight issue. Some say she talked about it herself on FB. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm done here with trying to defend comments that were not, in any way, meant to be hurtful.