Among Friends

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@I am still oxox wrote:

In my case yes I have or had a friend that is a "singer" and we went to many of her shows over the years. I also gave her tons of unused cosmetics. She did not bother to visit when I broke my hips. It took her a year to come see our renovated apt. In this case my kindness towards her was a waste. I am very bitter about the whole situation 

---

@I am still oxox 

I'm sorry you had that experience.  

Honestly, it doesn't sound to me like she was ever a friend .... she was just an acquaintance. 

Friends don't behave that way.  

[Tinkrbl44]

@JoyFilled Warrior 

Interesting comments on this thread.

I think kindness isn't wasted, but it WILL sometimes be received or interpreted differently than it was meant, if that makes sense.

Here's my #1 way to show kindness .... in the urban area where i live ...

When I'm in congested traffic, I look for a driver coming out of a parking lot trying to get in to the traffic ....  and wave to let them in in front of me.  

What's better than someone just letting you in so you can get where you're going?

To me, it's the 10-second kindness that is small, but can mean a lot in that moment. 

[occasionalrain]

A neighbor meant to be kind by disposing of a Christmas tree I had put out after Christmas for the birds. I was far from pleased but thanked him anyway. Moral to my story, be sure your "kindness" is wanted before imposing it.

[qvcaddition]

Kindness to strangers is the what I do, because it is me.  Plus kindness to family.

I do not know alot of the people I am kind to out in the world, and I will never see  most of them again.  It's just me.

My Grandmother had a saying, "What goes around, comes around."

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@occasionalrain wrote:

A neighbor meant to be kind by disposing of a Christmas tree I had put out after Christmas for the birds. I was far from pleased but thanked him anyway. Moral to my story, be sure your "kindness" is wanted before imposing it.

---

@occasionalrain 

Well, that was a double kindness ... your neighbor was attempting to be kind, and you were kind not to scold them for their non-kindness.

[occasionalrain]

@Tinkrbl44 

Thank You

Nothing is worth hurting someone who only meant well.

[LuvSoCal]

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@JoyFilled Warrior 

Interesting comments on this thread.

I think kindness isn't wasted, but it WILL sometimes be received or interpreted differently than it was meant, if that makes sense.

Here's my #1 way to show kindness .... in the urban area where i live ...

When I'm in congested traffic, I look for a driver coming out of a parking lot trying to get in to the traffic ....  and wave to let them in in front of me.  

What's better than someone just letting you in so you can get where you're going?

To me, it's the 10-second kindness that is small, but can mean a lot in that moment. 

---

@Tinkrbl44 I have done this many times and maybe 60% of the time the other driver will wave their gratitude to me but other times they do not. It's like it's expected even though they don't have the right of way. I know when someone extends this kindness to me I lways let them know I appreciate it. It's not a big deal but it is nice when it gets acknowledged.

[AngelPuppy1]

This is a question that seems simple but really I think it is complicated.  At least for me.  I have given it a lot of thought and I thank you for posting it.

I believe I am a very kind person.  I have tried my best over all of my years to show kindness to everyone.  Family members, friends, people I have just met, people I don't even know, etc.  

I have never extended kindness expecting to get anything in return.  But at times when I am met with nastiness, unkindness, bitterness, etc. in return, I have been and am hurt.  

I have also at times thought in different situations, why do I bother being kind to certain people when I am met with anger and meanness or indifference n return?  

I have to keep reminding myself that I can't allow their hard heart to make me hard and cold.  I will keep being kind even though I someimes walk away feeling disheartened, sad and maybe even cry.  But the tears show me that I care and I am able to feel kindness now matter what.

[branny]

Yes it is wasted at times. Depends on the one you have been so kind to.  A lot of my kindness to others  has sucked the life out of me.  It's like a fine line between  kindness and being taken advantage of.

[Cakers3]

@I am still oxox

Do you really want to remain bitter? You kept expecting her to be the way you thought she should be. You kept this "friendship" going; she did not.

It was ruined by your expectations. Let it go.
She may be a fraud etc. - I cannot say. There are always two sides to every relationship.

Your focus would be better used for something positive elsewhere.

You are not a bad person but your perception of reality is skewered.

People are people. Let it go. It's not that important anymore.