Among Friends

[UpNorthGorgy]

Unfortunately the "Do unto others as they would do unto you" isn't  always a norm."

I have a  older single neighbor. I helped taking her on errands  rides  from ER. She'd call 911 for everything, dehydrated, vertigo etc. for a month who first totaled a car then a month six months later another month rides when her second car was being fixed. 

I had a coworker I gave rides to who used public transit and took her grocery shopping when I retired. She got demanding and treated me like a taxi, when and what time to pick her up. Cut her off as well.

The neighbor "Ghosted" me as has  now has a different reliable car. I am not needed. Some people are users, period.

Sometimes a "Thankyou" would be nice and sufficient. I try and be polite to everyone I meet. I know for a fact I am thoughtful towards others. 

[Tallgal]

No kindness is never wasted because it is your heart, your soul, your moral foundation. Kindness is who and what a person is.

[rms1954]

In some situations, yes.  This is one of those questions that can be answered in a myriad of ways depending on the giver, receiver, and the intention.  I never get the point of these posts.

[Goldengate8361]

Yes! Kindness can definitely be wasted! Absolutely, yes.

[MoJoV]

I understand what @I am still oxox  is saying. It's very disheartening to not be treated to the respect and kindness you've shown to others.  

It's like the old saying " don't mistake my kindness for weakness ".  Any time someone is kind to me I show appreciation and expect the same otherwise I feel used.

[threecees]

No. Never.....

[shoekitty]

I don't think kindness is ever wasted.  Kindness comes natural, and is given unconditionally IMO. ..

Kindness,  the act of giving a thought, touch , gift, presence , is best given without thought of doing the act, or receiving anything in return.  So why would it be a waste? Some things I did have to train myself.  Like being kind to agents on the phone. lol. I had to retrain my mind set. I found it took a bit, but in the long run, I received better service. AND I wound up being kind  to mysel, lol,  no kidding less wear and tear on nerves.  

[I am still oxox]

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@MoJoV wrote:

I understand what @I am still oxox  is saying. It's very disheartening to not be treated to the respect and kindness you've shown to others.  

It's like the old saying " don't mistake my kindness for weakness ".  Any time someone is kind to me I show appreciation and expect the same otherwise I feel used.

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@MoJoV I have come to realize she is a fraud and a phony and only out to make money. For instance I bought her a Shirley Temple figurine for her 70th birthday last year. This year for my 70th I got nada. She was up here a few weeks ago to finally see the apt a year after our renovation  and said oh you have to come over for lunch I will pick you up and put your walker in the car, have no heard a peep. Also one of the first words out of her mouth is you are still skinny, what did she think I worked very hard to loose 80 lbs. Call me what ever you want I am sad she destroyed our friendship

[MoJoV]

@threecees  Kindness to animals is not wasted.  I love all animals, I'm grateful to share this Earth with them.

[shoekitty]

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@I am still oxox wrote:

In my case yes I have or had a friend that is a "singer" and we went to many of her shows over the years. I also gave her tons of unused cosmetics. She did not bother to visit when I broke my hips. It took her a year to come see our renovated apt. In this case my kindness towards her was a waste. I am very bitter about the whole situation 

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@I am still oxox   People will always disappoint you if you expect something in return, or feel owed my your kindnesses. You have to do it because you want to, or with nothing expected in return. When holding bitterness the only person that gets hurt  is you. The one thing I always try  remember is, the only difference between Bitter and Better is an E.  I can see how it can be hurtful, and I know how resentment leads to anger and bitterness.  But I hate that feeling. It just makes my life awful. Why should I be the one suffering the grudge, lol.  Yup, I do things now ....only what I can give for nothing.