Among Friends

[HiLo]

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@haddon9 wrote:

No my house isn't like that and my kids are both kind of minimalists.  My DD will on occasion ask me for extra hair spray or a cosmetic item when she's here at my home.  She knows that I usually have cosmetic back ups but  I certainly don't have big ticket back up items sitting around the house.  We do try to help them out whenever we can.

This thread also reminds me of my own mother.  She never could part with any of her things and be generous with me.  As an example I can remember back in the 1970s while away in college.  (I paid for my own living expenses then)  My roommates would come back to our apartment with goodies from home after a holiday with care packages from their parents....not me.  I can remember actually taking a roll of toilet paper or can of tuna and my mother (who was raised during The Depression) would make a stink about it and made me feel like a thief. Those memories hurt and I used to wish for a more generous type of mom.  I could tell more stories about this.

Today she's still alive at 93 and holds tight onto her money. She has enough to be more than comfortable but is afraid to part with any of it because she might need it someday.  Even if her SS & Dad's pension were suddenly cut off she could live comfortably for another ten years. I think it would be nice of her to help out her two grandchildren just a bit but she would prefer to leave money when she's gone rather than see them enjoy it while she's alive.

So no @Annabellethecat66  not all moms are generous.

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If your Mom was brought up during the depression, this is typical.  My Mother  was from a poor family and knew what it was like to have so little.  Later the depression came along and that added to her fears for the future.  But in the end, she taught me early how to be responsible and save for the future, but unlike her, I do buy things I probably don;t need from time to time.  Also, the joy I get from giving, can't be beat.

[cherry]

My daughter comes over and shops in my closet quite often. Most of my things she is able to wear ,some might  need a bit of tweaking from the tailor

@Annabellethecat66  you are one of the nicest  people on this forum. Be yourself ,everyone else is taken..You are someone I would  consider being stranded on an island with, for your pure joy of life, and your big heart.

[house_cat]

@Annabellethecat66 

I may have said this before, but it's worth repeating.  You need to write your memoirs. You have such a talent for it. Your style reminds me a bit of Erma Bombeck, who I absolutely loved.  What better gift can you leave those precious grandchildren? I urge you to do it.

[Annabellethecat66]

@house_cat  I liked her a lot too.  I've read all of her books.

But, at 73 I think I've run out of time.  I took a lot of classes at the Community college when my husband was alive.

I wrote for the college newspaper.  My editor and English teacher was constantly telling me to stop "bloviating" and write like I was a reporter not in the entertainment section of The Washington Post newspaper!  

I don't think she was a fan of my idea of entertainment....well to be fair I was supposed to be writing about serious things...

Things like dreadlocks...people were just beginning to wear them again...I can't even remember some of what I wrote about...let me see....hummm???....psssttt...I'm thinking...it takes a lot of brain cells to think...OK, one was about women and surrogacy.

It was just starting to be recognized.  I did a lot of research.  Not many people did it and for sure I didn't know anyone who would.

So the irony of that is my great-niece actually did that (carried twins) for a friend of her's.  She'd already had 2 little girls and her friend couldn't carry a baby, so she had twins for the friend.

Anyway, I totally drift off subject.

A lot of things happen to a lot of people.  I just have ideas on how to write about them.

Funny thing is that my typing teacher in 10th grade told me i'd never be a fast typist because I type exactly as if I was talking to you.

My late husband was extremely, I mean very smart...that guy was something, but every now and then he'd get a little full of himself (you know what I mean)...so I'd turn to him and instead of talking to him I'd spell out exactly what I wanted to say.

You know like, (spelling out this), "Hello!  How are you doing today?  I am feeling well.  Do you know how much I love you?"

He'd put his hands over his ears and say, "Stop!  Stop!  You're driving me crazy".  Ha!

So, that's my only talent...that's it. not much else...

Now you know more than you wanted to know.  When you address me here you never know what you're going to get, do you.

Take care...(and I'll tell you what I told the sweet young lady at the Chick Filet line today)..."Don't talk to strangers...they are not your friends".

She looked at me...puzzled...then started laughing and said, "Don't worry, I won't".

I forgot to tell you that actually I have written conversations my late husband and I had between us.  I write him letters (he died suddenly in 2004) so my girls will have a record of what we were like and how much in love we were the 7 years we were married before we had them.

I wanted them to understand and experience how deeply we felt about each other.

This way it's almost as if they were there the day we met, what we said to each other.  

I

[house_cat]

@Annabellethecat66 

At 73 you've run out of time to write your memoirs?!  That's ridiculous! You can't write your memoirs until you've lived a rich, long life.  Well, I guess you could, but it wouldn't be very interesting. 

My son had an assignment when he was 8 years old and misinterpreted it. He wound up writing his memoirs and they told how he became a famous hockey player and some other things that would happen in the future. The teacher got a kick out of it and so did we, but he clearly was not old enough to be retropectivve about his life, lol. 

Anyway, you've already been writing things to leave the girls. Keep doing it.  I have journals going back to my teen years.. not sure if I want my sons to read them, but it would be different if I had daughters.

[Bridgegal]

@novamc1 

That is exactly how my parents felt.  We weren't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but we never wanted for anything either.   Both my sister and I grew up to be indepenent, self supporting women who never asked them for anything.   But, they would buy or give us things from time to time for the very reason that they wanted to share with us while they were alive.  I remember that most every time I left their house my father would slip me $ 100.00 bill on my out of the front door.

I fully understand OP's comments and don't think she is bragging but as others have said, it can come across that way to some.   

[this is my nic]

When our children were young adults just starting out on their own we always had a big dinner on Sunday.  They always took leftovers and would "shop" in our pantry.  We were always happy to help them because when we were that age, we lived far from our parents and we never had the opportunity to do those things.    We, nor our children, were born with silver spoons in our mouths, but by the time ours were young adults we had the ability to provide some of what they needed. 

[LyndaGee]

Very nice how you and your children help each other. Definitely a win-win, as you said.

[Q4u]

I agree that helping each other is wonderful and to be able to "use" whatever you have is really great!  I'd say that I make sure we have enough food and supplies on hand.  I believe that comes from my Mom, who lived through the battle of Britain and prior to that her family was extremely poor, not enough food!  She also was greatly concerned about the "Bay of Pigs" and stored emergency supplies in our hall closet....

But she never hoarded, it was a practical necessity from having lived through so little that she remembers clearly what it was like to have practically nothing. 

I will make sure we have a nice supply of necessities.  I always buy on sale and freeze what I can.