In Senior Years--moving in with your kids or? - Page 3

MoJoV · ‎10-01-2010

My DH's Grandmother moved in with his parents when she was in her 80's. I would have to go over and bring Grandma to our house for a few hours.....letting everyone have a time out. It wasn't pretty. So NO WAY.

Trees are the lungs of the Earth

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

No....never! I can't even imagine I could "shut my mouth" long enough to stay more than a few days in their houses😳🙄. Love my boys but not their responsibilty to care for me. We love each other but I'm a neat freak, organized, etc. -- lets just say that's not their way!

I've made preparations (financially) if anything should happen to my spouse. And if something happens that I can't take care of myself I've planned for this also.

I would move back but never with them. Maybe close but not to near😊.

I pray I am never faced with my kids having to be "responsible" for my care. Times changed it used to be the child would step in their lives are busy & full. This would be a great burden i'm sure!

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

I wouldn't do that to my kids. But, you never know the hand life will deal you. My husband and I own our home we bought 35 years ago. We live in a part of California whose home prices soared. If it came to really needing care maybe we would sell the home and go into a home, or pay a caretaker. We have a decent retirement, but as I said you never ever know what life will deal you. Because our life is financially good now, does not not mean we are guarenteed that always. My mom has a caretaker 14 hours a day, and it runs nearly 10,000 a month. So, you never know.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

Never say never, but I doubt that will ever happen. My son & DIL stay on the go constantly. If I can't make it alone, in my older yrs, I hope to move to a care facility. I hope I never have to depend on anyone.

tockerman · ‎06-13-2010

you never know what will happen. my father moved in with me when his wife died. he took care of himself for over 5 years. never a burden to us all my kids were gone so we had an empty room for him? when my husband went to the army for one year it was a blessing to have him. But when he felt he had to go to a nursing home. going through all that i would not want to burden my kids. So the best thing is to get long-term health insurance for me and my husband. so I will not be a burden to my children.

DeniseColo · ‎07-24-2016

Speaking as the "kid", I can't imagine having not provided the care for my parents in their home before they passed. However, I was able to do so because I lived just a few blocks away. Also, my brother and sis-in-law equally helped so it wasn't all on one person.

Speaking as a single adult with no kids, I can't imagine asking nor do I expect my nephews to provide for my care when I am older. I would like to have in-home care and live in my own house til the end. But, when it actually comes to that point in life, my family will most likely be involved in providing at least some of my care. As morbid as it sounds, as soon as I am unable to live independently, I hope that I suddenly drop dead. I've lived alone most of my entire adult life and don't think I'd be happy living any other way.

Patriot3 · ‎06-07-2010

Oh my gosh, no moving in w/kids. I would feel like an intruder. They need their space and I certainly need mine. I can see where sometimes it would be a financial necessity. I hope I never have to be in the position to choose. God help us all, if and when we need to make that decision!

Sweet Caroline 1 · ‎12-12-2017

Well Daysdee, that is a good question, I have been thinking about this for a long time. I have no children, I do have two sisters and neices and nephews. I asked my neice...will you take care of me when I'm old? She said yes....I said good, thank you, I wanted to ask you before your mother asked. I'm calling dibs and we all laughed. But really, I like living alone with my dogs. I need to move from this house because it is on a steep slope with steep driveway and front door that is fourteen steps up. Really close to heaven here. Ultimately I would love to own a condo or townhouse on first floor. Or a tiny house with a tiny yard. Just know I need to sell this house. I'm paying close attention to what everyone is saying... thank you, SC

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

I have no children - and why I moved to this over-55 community. I wanted to be proactive now while I have the ability to do so. I just hit 63 and here are all single family homes (no townhomes, villas, etc) and most stuff is done for us. I have a one level home - no steps. Everyone here looks out for each other - if I go away for longer than 2 days I have my mail stopped and let my neighbors know and others do the same. There's a group here which is to help ppl have the ability to deal with shorter term medical things. We run errands for ppl, cook meals if they are sick, (and we run ppl to doctor appts, etc if they can't drive - however, that's kind of "unofficial" and done with the understanding there may be a potential liability issue if you were in an accident).

If dementia or some other medical thing happens, I do have LTC insurance and a power of attorney would kick in and my sister could look into assisted living or memory care. I NEVER want to be a burden to anyone. .