Re: I must be a fuddy duddy

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@Sage04 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
@Sage04 wrote:
Usually these are the ones that don't last because when the bills start pouring in, it causes problems.

So you think everyone in the country is poor and struggling????

@chrystaltree Oh no I would never say that. Is that what you got from reading my Post? Everyone struggling? I had to read it a few times to make sure I didn't say that.

@Sage04

You don’t have to justify what you post. You are entitled to your opinion. Just like everyone else on this board. @Luvsmyfam 's Post was simple. She pointed out the difference between her pre-wedding activity vs what is the done today. Not difficult to understand.

What we see here is confirmation bias. Posters pick only what supports what they think and disregard the rest. My guess most just have a rant at the ready, so they can unload. It doesn’t matter if it fits what was posted or not.

I had a similar issue with one of my posts recently. The poster said your post is odd, I don’t get it. I said go back and read it again. Maybe you will get it if not, I don’t know what to tell you. My policy don’t engage. I have no intention of explaining what I post. If someone doesn’t get it so, be it.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

I understand, I know a bride who had her bachelorette party in Paris. Hard to believe that all the bridesmaids could afford that. Of course people are getting married later in life so the have time to work toward that lifestyle. But still, I am SMH

SusieQ_2 · ‎03-27-2012

"Posters pick only what supports what they think and disregard the rest. My guess most just have a rant at the ready, so they can unload. It doesn’t matter if it fits what was posted or not." @manny2

This is possible. For example, manny2, the poster you replied to has made numerous comments that the couples who spend "big money" on a wedding are usually the ones that don't last. There was even a post about a string bikini-clad neighbor who bragged about spending 50K on wedding only to be divorced six months later that seems to have mysteriously disappeared, lol. Not sure how that one fit the subject matter but it is interesting to read what people will post to "support what they think" as you put it.

I don't think I'm speaking out of turn (since it's been posted here several times) when I point out that the op, who probably didn't shell out anywhere near 50K on chips and wine, is also divorced. This seems to imply that spending fifty dollars vs fifty thousand dollars is not a guarantee of happily ever after.

And, of course the reference (one of several) from those who say these couples can spend 25K on a wedding and then not afford the down payment on a house. Firstly, how would they know that and secondly how does that address that the op is a fuddy duddy? It doesn't. It's another example of what people think of today's celebrations and they used it as their opportunity to "rant and unload." I'm not sure I'd call it that but I'm just trying to address what you said.

If we're going only by what the op's comment was then these things definitely don't fit her post and going by the dictionary definition of fuddy duddy it appears that the op was simply saying she was old-fashioned, a stick in the mud, and unimaginative. But, just as many threads on these boards, the original post was just a jumping off point for a conversation. Without all the rest I guess we'd just have replies of "Why, yes. you are indeed a fuddy duddy" or "No, you just had a frugal event." It seems the conversation has evolved, lol.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

I am just guessing that the OP was just saying that the way we thought years ago and now are really different. Even if I had the money to take the bridesmaids on a vacay I would not have done it because to me that would have been a frivolous waste of money and could be saved for whatever. I worked with a ton of younger girls and their thought was I want this and am going to have it. They would pay $75 for a hair trim and then complain they did not have money for food. Take weekend trips and eat out then say they could not afford a doctor when they got sick....They just felt if they wanted something they were entitled to it. I used to say if you are having a hard time financially get your hair cut at supercuts and have medical insurance deducted and give up the trips and eating out and they looked at me like I had two heads and was talking crazy talk. We definitely live in different times...

violann · ‎03-10-2010

I paid for half of my wedding and my mom and dad paid for the other half.

I also bought and paid for my wedding dress, by myself.

I had 2 wedding showers and 2 baby showers, my "rehearsal dinner" was at a dear aunt's home, my "bachelorette" was at one of my bridesmaid's home.

I was an "old" bride and an "old" first time mom, and I may just have outgrown the folderol by the time it was my turn.

No big whoop either way. Forty-fifth wedding anniversary (first marriage) this fall.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@september wrote:
@qbetzforreal wrote:
Sounds like fun. I bet they're going to have a blast.
They will. I think that's why so many women on this board jump in to be critical. They didn't have that, and don't think anyone else should.

which goes directly back to the original post that mentions being a "fuddy duddy". Yep!

@september A whole lot of people in the USA still can't afford elaborate weddings but have a lot of pressure put on them to spend beyond their means.

Not everyone is able to afford it. Some people throw an elaborate wedding that may put them in debt or at zero savings for years, therefore makeing a house purchase impossible for a long time, and financial issues a threat.

It's fine if you can really afford to blow that kind of money on a wedding. Media pressure is hard on people who can't. And it's a dumb move even for some who can.

That is the way I think about it. Have I named anyone specific? No. But I have an opinion about this trend and it is my right to have it and to voice it on a discussion board. No apologies needed or given. I just feel sorry for a lot of young people today who don't have extra to spend.

And it is going to get worse I am afraid. I am not a jealous person, but I am compassionate for those who start out life on a shaky foundation of living up to expectations on not much money. It's very scary for some and not every young person has an easy time.

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

I get her point....I think she's saying that weddings and such are so elaborate these days. I agree. It's nice for the bride to have a little getaway before the wedding though. Back in my day, it was just a shower luncheon with the bridal party and friends. Things have definitely evolved over time. Even baby gender reveal parties are now festivals! Sometimes it seems like too much.

bikerbabe · ‎03-09-2010

You need to factor in kids get married a lot later than they did 40 years ago. The average age to get married varies by state but I just googled and it’s all late 20s to early 30s. Kids dont get married at 18 anymore. They are older, finished school/college. Already established in a job/career. They have more money than kids in the 1970s or earlier who got married right out of high school.

There is a huge wedding boom this summer after ceremonies being cancelled the past couple of years.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Yes and lots are lucky to have a job much less a career. It seems like so much is assumed about so many people having money now. It isn't that way everywhere. I think there is a greater financial divide in this country than we like to think about.

And I am talking about between people barely scraping by and people having enough to shop basically at will even at Warlmart or QVC.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@Luvsmyfam Actually I know a number of younger people who didn't have lavish pre-wedding activities and they certainly could afford them.

@Love my grandkids

I know a couple who had a rather lavish wedding, inviting all of their rather large family ..... it was a big event. The couple felt that they would like to have just one big party in their lives ... when better to do it than for a happy occasion like a wedding?

Actually, they were also aware that many of the family didn't see each other very often, and this could be a very big happy memory in their lives.

It was a lovely wedding.